Such is Life

I hate it when you’re driving down the road, all happy to be off work, sun shining, windows down…

And a bug flies into your cheek.

And you don’t know what kind it was so you debate pulling over in case it’s a venomous type, but you overcome your fear until ten minutes later you feel it crawling up your arm & it’s a red wasper so then you do flip out & try not to crash as you squash it with one of the 78 napkins from various fast food joints lying on the seat. Then, once you do squash it, you’re afraid it’s gonna come back to life & crawl out of the napkin & sting you for spite but you don’t wanna be a litterbug & throw it out the window even though it would eventually disintegrate. So you save it till you’re sweating from anxiety & wait till no cars around & DO IT then come home & confess your litterbugging sinful self among your peers on Facebook.

Side note: I think tomorrow I’m putting my Fitbit on Lightning Bug (the more hyperactive of the dogs). I want to see what happens.

Twinkies

Clint & I ordered the same shirts this go round. Not on purpose. I discovered this when he wore his a while back. So this morning, I asked John, who had been upstairs, if we were wearing the same shirt. John carefully looked at me. “Yes, but he’s not wearing that headband.”

So I call Clint. “What are you wearing?”

“A long sleeved button up shirt.”

“Is it the small navy & white check?”

“Yes.”

“We’re Twinkies. I’ll be up for a photo shoot directly.”

Luckily, I had another matching headband, & somehow coerced him into putting it on.

Ladies & gentlemen, CEO of Sevier Farmers Coop, & yours truly.


p.s. He said the only time anybody wants their picture with him is to make themselves look better. I told him not to worry, it was not a flattering picture of me; my hair’s weird & my face is scrunched up because I was laughing so hard at his Lt. Dan headband.

Ageism WC#1

Day 9: Your Feelings on Ageism

I had to look it up on my dictionary app to make sure it’s what I thought it was. I was correct. “A discrimination against a certain age group” or “a tendency to view older persons as debilitated, unworthy of attention, or unsuitable for employment.”

I’m not sure who came up with these writing prompts, but I feel that I could write more dramatically about something else. The ‘unworthy of attention’ pulls at me…but I’m liable to get pulled off on a tangent. Oh well, here goes nothin’.

We have several old men working at the Co-op, so I have firsthand experience with this. I don’t feel that they should get special treatment. If they can’t hack it, they should be sent home. Just like a younger person with a strong back would be. (Unless you could be moved to a lighter duty position). Keeping one person because you feel sorry for them is just preventing someone else from having work. That being said, there is one that works circles around most of us. And there is one who ain’t worth shootin’, in my opinion. There is one who is an icon, we keep him around for his brain. And there’s one who stays as lost as last year’s Easter egg. I don’t think he’s ever gonna catch on, & he’s been with us for a couple of years now.

Just like our younger people. We have young people that are go-go-go, younger people that are smart but aren’t much for the labor end, younger people who are so slow you can “see the dead lice fall off of ’em” {Hazel’s words, a bit of an exaggeration}. We have younger people that every day is like their first day, no recollection of the day before. Seriously, it’s like the Twilight Zone. It takes all kinds, is what people keep telling me.

Everybody needs a job. But if you can’t do the job you’re hired to do, you need to find one you can. And these 16-28 year olds really need a stronger work ethic. Showing up is not enough. If the place you’re employed doesn’t pay you what you’re worth, or appreciate you, move on. Because they probably never will. 

A Book I Loved…and One I Didn’t

A Book You Love & One You Didn’t

There are so many things wrong with this subject. First of all the words “One” & “A”. Like I could seriously pick just one of each. But I will try.

It’s fairly easy to pick one I love because I just finished it. It kept my attention like few have in the past few years. It was my Book Club’s selection for this month: Fever by Mary Beth Keane.

It’s the story of Typhoid Mary, set in the early years of the 20th century. New York City’s lower east side tenements were teeming with disease and filth & Mary was a cook for some of the richest families of Manhattan. She is an unmarried Irish immigrant with strong opinions & an even stronger work ethic.

Yeah, I know it sounds boring, but I am telling you it is gripping & engrossing enthralling & all the words. She makes it so interesting & causes you to speculate on your own life. Are you where you’d thought you’d be as an adult? Do you think it will always be as it is now? What if you are old & lose your job & no one wants you? What if the thing you love & that you are best at is punishable by law if you practice it? What if the man you love is an alcoholic but you don’t know how to love another? He’s all you know in this country…you’ve been with him for 17 years. What if you are perfectly healthy but accused of killing people by being around them? You are sick in a way you can’t understand & they can’t explain. You are forced into exile & have no contact with your former life, not even to tell them that you’re being help captive of the state? It’s unimaginable.

But it’s not all dark & dismal. Mary rises again & again & overcomes everything that is thrown her way. It’s interesting to me that she remained resilient. I would have jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge. And yet…it only mentions her crying once. I cried more than that reading it!

Even though this book is fiction, a mere possibility of the life she may have lived, it seems so real. It is easy to sympathize with Mary. I was captivated from early on.

One I Didn’t:

Priscilla Balleu Presley: The Untold Story.

I wouldn’t say I’m obsessed with Elvis, but I am intrigued by him, & I do like his music. I occasionally like biographies so I thought this would be interesting.

I could not have been more wrong.

I’m not sure what Priscilla ever did to this author, but it must have been really bad. Additionally, the author repeats herself relentlessly & it is clear she didn’t have enough information for a book. It is also evident that Priscilla is a liar, as the author sites sources with every quote. Slow going, a dark pall against every page. I hated it & quit at 40% (it was on my Kindle, thankfully I paid less than three dollars).

So there you go.

Honorable mentions include Gone With the Wind (of course), Lonesome Dove, Peter Pan, Islands by Anne Rivers Siddons, The Paris Wife by Paula McClain, anything by Wendy Webb, Gillian Flynn, Jodi Picoult, Kristin Hannah, & Karen White.

While I will always reach for my southern set favorites, occasionally I branch out & in rare instances am wow’ed. So it’s a marvelous thing I’ve found two in the last month.

I know I can be a bit much if you’ve ever asked me for a book recommendation, & for that I will apologize. But there’s so many good ones to read! Time’s a-wastin’!

Alternately, I hated these that everyone seems to love: A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, the Bell Jar, 50 Shades (don’t judge, I had to see what all the hoopla was about), Twilight (same reason. Hey, I  liked Harry Potter!) & the Confederacy of Dunces.

Happy reading!

Tattoo Stories

Day 7: What Tattoos You Have & If They Have Meaning

My first was a heart. I wanted something simple, something small, something that said I wasn’t what everyone thought I was.

My second is a horseshoe with a red “Vegas” style 7. My lucky charms.

My third is a four leaf clover. Another lucky charm. A tip to my Irish roots.

Who’s surprised? I bet very few have ever laid eyes on any of them, & if you have, probably just the clover. I was with friends I loved every time, & it was an event & a ton of fun.

I would be absolutely covered up if I thought I wouldn’t get tired of them & it would be hard to procure a job. Or keep the one I have. They frown on pink hair & visible art. I still want some wings on my back. Shug wants us to get cards (Jack & Ace) & guns. And I want a mermaid for sure. And my hometown postage stamp. Have y’all seen those? They are super cool. And a sparrow. And a stack of books with a thought provoking quote.  And maybe a honeybee….you can see where I would run out of room fast.

Update 11-7-17 Well, looks like I got my swallow ❤ Still waiting on a bunch more. I never thought I’d put one in such an exposed place, but I love it. I wish I had gotten the paisley right away…but I’d probably have chickened out on any more of them. 


Fascination

Day 6: Someone Who Fascinates You & Why

Oh, my gosh. I don’t know why I labored over this for so long.

Of COURSE I am fascinated by Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton! She is FABULOUS. And I’m not one to be awed by celebrities. But she seems so genuine! And she’s always so poised & beautiful & her clothes are gorgeous. Of course, if I had an army of people working on making me look perfect every day, enough precious jewels to sink a ship, & an unending supply of cash, I could probably look that good, too. But I still probably wouldn’t be that NICE. Elegance can’t be bought. I think Diana would approve.

The Lord’s Chicken

Chick-fil-A is really something. I went by the one on Chapman this morning & the girl at the window went to fold down the top of my bag & it was barely torn so it wouldn’t make a nice crease.

She frowned.

“Oh, let me get you another bag, this one’s ripped.”

As soon as I got my eyeballs back in my head that she was actually SERIOUS I waved my arm. “No, it’s alright! Really!”

“Are you sure?” her brow was all furrowed, not understanding why I would accept an inferior bag.

“Absolutely.”

I accepted my barely damaged bag with glee.

I just wanted its contents.

Day 4 Ten Facts About Me

Day 4: 10 Interesting Facts About Myself

Oh good grief. Tuletta said, “Well, it is called a challenge…”

1.) I’ve had two vehicles in my entire life. To paraphrase Lonesome Dove, I’m not one to give up on a vehicle just because it’s got a little wear on it…

2.) I’ve done a bit of traveling. My favorite place in the US is Bear Lake, Idaho, closely rivaled by the Oregon coast.

3.) I think strawberry ice cream is disgusting, and I don’t like macaroni and cheese much better.

4.) I would love to write for a living. Or read books. I read about 50 a year, anyway, but I would like to read a few hundred. But I would still have to write, it eats at me. Sometimes, I’ll be trying to figure out what’s wrong with me, why I can’t concentrate, and it occurs to me that I haven’t spilled my guts out about anything. As soon as I spin a tale, I feel more settled.

5.) I am perfectly happy staying in and never going out. I would like to pay someone to do my shopping for me. I would make a great hermit. I hate to talk on the phone, too. Please don’t ask me to call you. It makes me sweat and I spend a lot of time thinking up excuses why I didn’t answer or didn’t call you.

6.)  I used to vacation alone. And I still would. Johnny likes to lay on the beach, I like to sightsee.

7.) I know a lot of dead people’s phone numbers. I know a lot of phone numbers, period. They don’t call me “Google of the Co-op” for nothin’.

8.) I own about 30 Coach purses.

9.) I order dessert first at Olive Garden. They have the most phenomenal lemon cake in the whole entire world, and I don’t want to eat so much dinner I can’t eat it.

10.) I worked as a 911 dispatcher for about a year & a half. It was, at turns, exhilarating and monotonous.

The Truth, Always

ChiA colleague of mine recently lost his mother. I don’t mean that she cannot be found, of course. This evening was the first time I’ve seen him & of course I expressed my condolences. I simply said, “I’m sorry about your mother.” He thanked me, & since we were still standing there awkwardly, I additionally offered, “That sucks.”

A smile.

“Yes, it does. And I appreciate your saying so.” He paused. “I had wondered what you were supposed to say to someone who lost their mother? I didn’t know, I still don’t. What CAN you say? But that sums it up sufficiently. It DOES suck.” He went on to say no one had said this to him yet (leave it to me) but it was an accurate assessment.

So, let this be a lesson to y’all. It may not be the most eloquent phrase that ever comes out of your mouth, but if it is heartfelt & sincere, it will be appreciated, perhaps more than you know.

Just speak the truth. Always & for any situation. The truth is always the right thing to say.

First Love

The Day 3: First Kiss & First Love

Ugh.

First kiss that COUNTED was in the loft of a beautiful old white barn. The barn was much better than the guy it came with.

First love. My first true love was horses. I knew I loved them early on, even though I’d never had one. I loved carousels, and had to always have a pony ride at the fair and wherever else we went that offered them. Plus, ya know, I had all the hundreds of My Little Ponies to keep me entertained. But we eventually sold all the cattle off & my Mamaw leased the property to some horse owners. Oh, happy days! They came over each night to feed them and I was allowed to hold the bucket. Sometimes they let me ride when they had their saddles with them…and sometimes I snuck off and rode bareback, with only a halter and some makeshift reins from baler twine. I was a bit of a daredevil. I also took every opportunity to go over to Uncle Roy’s and ride any of his knothead ponies & horses. I would pore over horse magazines and catalogs, dreaming of all the things I wished I had the money to buy. Any horse program came on TV, and I would be glued to it. I would watch for horses out in pastures any time I went out, & loved visiting Churchill Downs and Kentucky Horse Park whenever I could. I dreamed of all the breeds I would someday own, and drew out plans for barns, arenas, and paddocks.

Eventually, I started showing some halter horses for 4-H and then showed some gaited horses. While I was in high school my uncle kept some horses at the house and I started green breaking them. I preferred to ride bareback instead of fooling with all the riggin’s and dragging a saddle out, so I had excellent balance. This made me a bit of a nerd with my classmates, nobody else was still horse crazy like me, and it was rare to see any other females in cowboy boots. The Vo-Ag classes back then were a bit of a dumping ground for unruly students, and I never felt that I fit in…but when I started attending Walters State at the Morristown campus I discovered a whole world of people like me! It was awesome. I couldn’t believe my good fortune. But, alas, I was still an odd duck, because I preferred my English duds for riding. One of my classes was horsemanship, where we rode a variety of horses at a Saddlebred show barn, and also had the option of bringing our own horses.  I had my own, but no way to haul it. It was like a dream come true, riding horses with friends and getting credit for it. One day, the owners of the stable broke out some “Back 40” horses. You know, the ones who hadn’t been touched in a year or two. They recruit one of the “cowboys” to ride this especially rank Arab cross aptly named Diablo. He rode the buck out of him and dismounted. He was a man of few words, so one of them asked him, “What’d you think?”

I don’t remember his response, but I do remember the next question: “Alright to put somebody else on him?”

Greg spat in the dust, and nodded at me. “She can ride ‘im.”

That was about the most he’d ever said to me, and definitely the biggest compliment I ever got out of him. So away I went. The horse was a powder keg, and if I was trying to sell him, I would say he “moves out”, which is code for “hold on” lol.

But I used to love to ride those crazy ones, hated chugging along. My Saddlebred wasn’t much for trail pleasure, we took him over to Big Creek one time and he worked himself into such a dither coming back we went the whole way back down the mountain backwards. True story. I still prefer a big horse, the little ones can turn and spin out from under you way too easy. And I still love to ride…in optimum conditions, like 70 degrees, on a well-kept path, with a sensible, steady mount. I just don’t like the rest of the stuff that goes with it…like cleaning stalls, or getting stuck in the mud when you go out to feed hay, or hoping you don’t get frostbit when the wind is cutting through you while you valiantly try to bust ice. But oh, to some, it is worth it….to feel invincible, to feel like you’re flying as you ride across rolling hills, the scenery whipping by and the ground solid beneath the pounding hooves. I remember. And sometimes, I miss my first true love.