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Monthly Archives: December 2013

The Perils of Real Trees at Christmas

​I am impressed by you people who decorate real trees. They are a horse of a different color. You put an ornament on a real tree branch, it sags. You put one on an el-fako & nothing much happens. And its like the real trees eat the bead garland. I don’t even know what happens to it (or the ribbon- now you see me, now you don’t!) Anyway, Johnny wants a real one next year. We’ll see. He wanted a real one this year too, but neglected to tell me till after all the fake ones had been lugged upstairs, fluffed, & lit. Dang. Anyway, hope everyone is snug as bugs in rugs on this chilly night. Me, I’m wrapped in a lambswool blankie & watching Home Alone for the second time in two days 🙂 I have presents to wrap & dishes to wash but ah, it can wait till after Kevin plants the tarantula on Merv’s face…

My Pregnancy Facts

I was given #4 in this preggers game. 1) I’ve never been pregnant.  2) I’d like to stay that way. 3) Yes, I know what causes it. 4) I am very very VERY defensive about my body & the decisions I make especially concerning my uterus. It is NOBODY’S business besides mine & Johnny’s about having a child. It is EXTREMELY rude to ask why we don’t have any kids. Its none of anyone’s business. It could be that we don’t feel the need to bring another kid into this corrupt world. It could be that I’m unable to reproduce. It could be that I don’t like kids. It could be that we don’t see ourselves as financially stable enough to provide a lifestyle for family the way we think you should be able to. But rest assured, no amount of your pleading, persuasive arguements, & stories of how wonderful raising children is will play any sort of factor into our decision. Its truly amazing the amount of people that I barely know that are brazen enough to ask me when I plan on having babies. I blink at them until they get the point. Just because I’m a southern woman doesn’t mean this is the only lifestyle suited to me. And I applaud every one of you raising children. That’s terrific, I…