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Monthly Archives: November 2014

It’s the Accent

I’ve had a communication problem today.  First, I’m at a lunchtime meeting with my supervisors to discuss horse feed. Before we started, I turned to Lynwood, whom I had been making small talk with about this insane weather we’ve been experiencing. Me: “What about Buffalo?!?” Lynwood: “Pardon?” Me: “What about Buffalo??!” Lynwood: “Buffalo?” He looks perplexed. Me: “Yeah, they’ve got like, eight feet of snow!” (Thinking, how did he miss this?!?) Lynwood, laughing, : “Oh! I thought you wanted to know about buffalo eating Pinnacle feed. I was gonna say we haven’t field tested anything but horses at this time.”  Hardy harhar. Next, this afternoon, Whitney answers the phone & then turns to ask me, “Do we have a Marine working here?” Totally out of the blue. But Whit is pretty random, so I just rolled with it.  “Yeah, Brion’s a Marine…and the new guy, Phil…” Thinking of their slogan ‘there are no FORMER Marines. Once a Marine, always a Marine. I’m getting the bewildered expression for the second time today. “What?” I ask. “No, not a Marine, MAUReen!” “Oh. Yeah, she’s at Waynesville.” Hilarious…

Accessorize

I look a little crazy today. I blame the wind. It’s like those Santa Ana winds that drive people to suicide…mine just drove me to indecision about my jewelry for today. I’m telling everyone I’m going with the Johnny Depp look. Shoulda tied a scarf around my arm too, dang it… Also, I wore a lipstick shade that is out of character for me (pink–it was the first one I came to), & the wind was whipping this morning & blew my hair in my face. I worked about an hour, walked into the bathroom, & it looked like a cat had scratched me all over my face.  Thanks, coworkers, for the heads up…

The Optometrist

While I was sitting in the waiting area of my eye doctor, sans glasses, some wormy guy went walking by, took a double take, stopped, and pulled out his camera. I hopped up & went to the desk, behind the safety of a potted plant. The girls looked at me expectantly. “I don’t want anything, but there’s a weird guy out there, and if I’m gonna hafta shoot him, I’m gonna need my glasses.” They quickly handed them over & one of the girls was like, “What’s he doing?” “Just being weird. I think he was taking my picture. I dunno. I couldn’t see.” (Taking advantage of my disability!!! The SHAME!) She took a card to go out & help him & he went on his way. I love my new optometrist. She took this picture & told me to drink gin & tonic for my eye twitch…

Seasons Unto Heaven

I like all the seasons. When I take those mind numbing quizzes on here, I have the hardest time determining which is my favorite, because they all have something to offer. I usually decide spring is my favorite because it’s still a little cool, with warm days interspersed to keep you hopeful. I like watching everything turn green, the smell of mud, and lack of mosquitoes. I appreciate the rain to help crops grow. I like summer, because it’s nice to spend time outside near water to stay cool. The clothes are more fun, and I like eating alfresco on patios with a margarita in hand at trendy restaurants. It’s nice to walk to the backyard & pick supper. (Vine ripe tomatoes, cucumbers, squash, etc.) Those late afternoon thunderstorms are welcome to help cool everything down & keep from being so parched. Plus, that’s the season that includes my birthday & anniversary, two important holidays. Fall is probably my second favorite, because of Thanksgiving and wearing cute scarves. I’m ready for a break in the heat & throwing open the windows to let out all the stale air. I like football & hockey games & decorating at the store. I like tromping through the orange leaves & spotting turkey in the fields. It’s perfect weather for horseback riding, too. I don’t even mind winter so much. I’m fine with snow, so long as…

Shugar Shugar

I’ve been waiting for the perfect day for this one. I am thankful for J. He is so wonderful 🙂 I don’t know how I made it so long without him. He is extremely funny, sometimes so much so that he catches me unaware. He is strong, he performs all the chores that I beg off with the excuse: “I’m a girl…” (i.e. cleaning out gutters, mowing the yard, grilling, landscaping…I’m gonna stop before y’all get some hare-brained idea that I’m lazy 😉 ). He is intelligent, he can carry on a conversation with just about anybody about anything. I don’t have to worry about bringing him to a co-op function-or a political fundraiser, or dinner with people he’s never met, or high school reunion- and having to entertain him, he’s got it. And he looks good doin’ it 😉 He loves animals, I’m sure all of you know about the groundhogs at the Johnson Plantation. He gets along great with my family–better than me, most of the time! Its disgusting!!! 😉 He’s a hard worker, I’ve never known him to miss a day of work. He may complain about the perils of being an electrician, but I know he’s a company man after seeing him work from six in the morning till ten at night (for…

The Day the Dairy Turned

Yesterday, I had a hard time all day long.  I contribute it to being a Monday, but it was more than that. It started out innocently enough, with my swiss cheese bag that wouldn’t close. You know sometimes how you have trouble?  How there’s a little air pocket in the side and it causes it not to be lined up right and screws the whole track up?  It was like that. Or so I thought.  I started really looking at it after about four tries, and realized the whole blamed zipper side was gone, it was all connected on one side and open.  Dang.  I didn’t have time to fool with it, so I threw it back in the drawer and away I flew.  I made some waffles, and went to pour me a tall glass of milk…and there was none.  I knew we were low….evidence of Johnny fixing himself a bowl of cereal in the sink.  He NEVER eats cereal before he goes to work.  Oh well. A minor inconvenience, right? I drank water.  He texts me on his way home that he’s gonna stop for a gallon.  Great.  I’d already forgotten about it at this point.  I get home and awhile later, I hear him in the kitchen grumbling.  “What’s wrong?” He’s pouring…

Thirty Days of Thankfulness

I could be thankful for a whole host of things today: Sundays off, good books, leftover pot roast & grilled cheese dinner, my cozy monogrammed blanket…but I’m gonna be thankful I’m not Bear Grylls’ wife. Have you ever watched his show? He is a MANIAC. He eats SCORPIONS. RAW. And rolls around in mud for wildfire protection. And kills rattlesnakes with a stick. And makes rafts from oil barrels & ancient Styrofoam. And sleeps suspended in discarded fishing nets high in the trees. And that’s not all. That’s barely the tip of the iceberg…or should I say glacier&#8230…