Lent is a time to reflect, take stock, and straighten up and fly right with the Lord.

And that’s why it’s so hard.

I mean, it’s really difficult to keep your thoughts pure and true and centered. It’s almost impossible not to worry and not to care what people think. It’s a struggle to love unconditionally and not judge.

But oh, the benefits when you lay your head down at night and realize you did a decent job and you’re proud of yourself for trying so hard. And when you’ve spent the day in prayer for someone you love, just wrapping them in blessings and well wishes you feel so content and snuggly. Have you ever been prayed for like that? Where someone prays out loud for you, whether they’re physically with you, with their arms around you, or when they’re on the phone and they’re actively asking favor from the Lord to almost crush you with his spirit and love and you just feel warm and cozy and like every cell, crevice, and follicle of your body is being wholly enveloped and taken care of?

I highly recommend it.

I’m not that good of a prayer-giver, but that’s what I’m striving to do. I want y’all to know how much I appreciate and care for you! I want you to know I’m in your corner and want the very best for you.

And I want this bird to quit knocking itself out on my window. I mean, how many times do you have to bounce off glass to realize you’re only hurting yourself? I know birds don’t have any idea of what they look like (except maybe crows, they’re really smart) so when they see their reflection they can’t figure it out. But come on, man! The headache should be your first clue.

I met Angela a little over a year ago at the fencing company. She called after being referred by my sweet friend, Christy (yes, my hairdresser. Christy is fully integrated in my life, even if I don’t talk about her much. She’s kinda bashful). Angela and her husband were moving to Seymour and needed a fence for their three dogs.

I didn’t need a new friend, or so I thought.

We always need new friends, according to what I’ve since learned.

Angela is a jewel. A peach. A crafty, witty, exuberant, bubbly package of fun that I’m proud to call my friend. She’s also frequently my lunch date, so if you see me out, that’s who I’m usually partaking in the joy of beef alongside. She always knows what to say, and when to say it, and it amazes me that someone can be so in tune with me after such a short time. Am I really that predictable? No. She’s just that gifted. And she has gifted me with her friendship….and quilt…and sinful baked goodies…

So it is my pleasure to pray for her today. She asks that her focus be to pleasing the Lord with her thoughts and works, and not look to others for self worth. She only wants to be concerned with what the Lord thinks of her, not others. Personally, I thought she did a good job of this, she seems to have confidence in spades, but I guess I don’t know her as well as she knows me. Not to say she’s weird or anything like that! No! Just that she goes about doing her own thing, maybe a little against the tide. For instance, she raises ducks and wears pigtails. In my circle, this is completely acceptable. But my circle is a little different than the circle she hails from. It seems to be her true calling. So maybe that’s it. Maybe she feels a little ostracized from the people she used to know and that’s where her prayers come from? I don’t know. I’m just here to pray.

So, Lord, I come to you today on behalf of my deserving friend Angela. I pray as she goes forward that she is driven by thoughts of gratifying you. Direct her actions so that others will know she lives a life of stewardship to you, and that we should all strive to do the same. Cloak her with your comfort, so that her intentions remain true no matter what obstacles she encounters and ridicule she may face from those who wish to destroy her purpose. May she turn loose of whatever she’s holding that makes her feel she can’t be honest with her true self. May those who antagonize her not be a burden, may she feel as lightweight and free as the eagles in the sky. I pray that she will expose her light fully, and let go of whatever it is she carries. May we all encourage her in this transformation as she looks within herself, and to you, for affirmation. Thank you for blessing me with her friendship, and thank you for her many gifts she shares with us all. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Angela has tasked me with telling myself how special I am every time I look in the mirror today. So, unlike the bird, I won’t be whacking my head into the glass and feeling dazed, I’ll just be talking to myself. I do that all the time, anyway, so this isn’t much of a stretch.

You is kind, you is smart, you is IMPORTANT. ~The Help

That was the first thing I said to myself this morning as I picked out my socks. I had gone to some trouble avoiding the mirror until my brain woke up and had a few wise words in reserve. So what if I stole ’em? I brushed my teeth, telling myself how fortunate I am to be able to get up in a warm house, put on clothes, find something to eat, and have a good job to go to.

When I went to put on makeup, I decided it wasn’t worth the mirror time and my focus should be on my insides today, so I forwent the warpaint. Other than mascara. I just can’t face the day without a little something on my eyelashes. And I didn’t think about my hair. I just knotted it up. Yes, I DO occasionally try to do something with it! I know that surprises some of you, judging by what it looks like most of the time. Bite me. You try having curly hair for 40 years. Eventually, around year 25, you just surrender. It’s not that important.

As I’ve caught my reflection at different times today, I start with a smile, which made me feel a little goofy the first few times. Then I remember Angela. I say a quick reaffirmation prayer for her. And I say something to me: how my brain is quick, how my words are sure, how distinctly different I am for being able to write so that it touches others’ souls. (I know I touch you!! You tell me and I cry!!!) I tell myself I make a significant difference in so many people’s lives (again, I know this because people tell me). It gets harder to find something new that doesn’t have anything to do with my appearance every time I go to the mirror. It is unavoidable at work. I can’t just avert my eyes when I go in the restroom. This last time I told myself I was strong. I can’t be thankful for my forgiving nature, because that part of me needs definite work. Y’all can pray for me in that aspect, if you feel led to do so. See? I don’t even want to ask for it because I’m so stubborn and want to stay mad. That’s not good. I guess I could avoid the mirror, but that defeats the purpose and I don’t ever want somebody saying I shirked work.

I am worthy.

It wasn’t my fault.

I am entertaining.

I pee a lot. Shouldn’t have had that coffee.

Dear Beth asked me to remember that I see wonderful things in others that they think no one notices. This surprised me. I think your qualities are front and center and unavoidable! Maybe people notice and are afraid to say so.

So maybe that’s it. Maybe we should always tell each other how much we care for and appreciate another being, that way they can tell it to themselves so they can believe it. Maybe that’s part of why some people commit suicide, they think they don’t matter enough to anyone else. I, myself, could never live with the guilt of leaving those behind that would question if they could have done more. Southern Guilt will getcha every time.

I am special, God made me to serve some purpose.

I looked at myself in the mirror by accident while I was waiting for my gas tank to fill and had to come up with another’n. I am resilient. Nothing has killed me this far.

I am empathetic.
I am true.
I am loud and proud.

I won’t bore you with any further comments on my character but this will go on until midnight.

I hope you will take time for yourself to stand still a moment today. It’s almost spring; listen for the birds. Look for things blooming and trees budding and the shock of green. It happens overnight. Find something God made to be thankful for. If nothing else, be glad for your eyes to see it, or your ears to hear it, and legs to stand on to appreciate it. Breathe in. Close your eyes. Stretch your arms up. Breathe out….and open your eyes to see if anybody’s caught you. If they’re staring, smile great big and wave. Because what they think doesn’t matter. And you’re showing them you’re happy with your gift of being alive. Maybe you’ll meet a new friend in this fashion.

We can all use one more.

Love from Appalachia,
Amy xoxo