By Angela Hardin, via text 4/20/24 9:53 am

Imagine.

A probably 68-70 year old man. Glasses. Waxed down wispy hair on top, and a narrow ring around the outside. Thin and upright. Wearing a black leather jacket zipped halfway over a starched white button up. Straight cut, fitted starched jeans. Tight but not too tight. Strutting into the grocery store like Tony Manero in his alligator boots on an apparent rebuilt heel.

I presume all of his attire is original from the eighties and that he takes his jeans to the cleaners to have pressed. Nothing about him was slouchy.

He rolls into the check out with a case of Guinness and asks for a pack of Camel! 

I thought to myself, “This’ll go quick with two items and I can get out too” so I get in line behind him. 

Nope. He pulls out HIS CHECKBOOK! 

I’m like…. Um…… but I said hi so I can’t back out now. I gotta stand there and wait for him to write it out and ask what the total was twice😵‍💫 

I was done in less than 90 seconds and bop out to the car. I notice he is corralling his buggy. And then he gets into a jeep. Like old school jeep. Like he probably bought new in the seventies.

No top. 

IT’S RAINING. 

It has been raining so it’s not like this should have been a surprise.

As he was out doing errands. 

So he pulls out with his wipers on, in a jeep with no top. 

I cannot stop laughing.

Amy’s note: I am dead now, posting posthumously. I told her this was the greatest story I’d heard all week and I talk to John Alan multiple times a day, so she’s really done something here. I thought he had the two greatest quotes of the week between talking about his buddy who’s missing a thumb: “He can do everything but peel a shrimp and shape a hat. Oh, and tie his shoes.” And today’s, “not in my weakest moment, in the darkest night, in my drunkest hour”. I told her a guest post on my blog was the highest honor I could bestow. Hat tip, my friend. I only wish I could have seen it. I mean, I’m struggling over here but I didn’t go to the grocery store at nine in the morning with my sunroof open in the rain for cigs and beer. I hope this gentleman has an uplifting day and doesn’t have to drink all twelve to get there. Wonder if he had some of those sunglasses that flip down over the regular lenses. I wonder if he has a black leather vest with a pocket watch. I bet he carries a pocketknife that he uses to cut his fingernails. I wonder if he goes to the flea market to pick up ladies…