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Monthly Archives: November 2015

Bullet Your Entire Day

Day 16: Bullet Your Entire Day • Woke up (late) • Burned tongue sipping coffee • Fixed up beans in the crock pot • Attire change after brisk walk to start Patsy, which left no time for makeup • Belted out “Mama He’s Crazy” on commute • Learned my brake light is out on the Amy side • Thought about crawling through phone & choking woman customer who was pricing tile • Peeled tangerine & ate it • Wished I was home reading • Wished I hadn’t forgotten my crackers • Got called Pinky • Emailed Loveday about Purina feed • Sold a ton of reindeer feed to Kyle • Stuffed new Montana Silver in case & hoped Kelvin & Nancy will come by soon to fix my merchandising catastrophe • Sold $3000 worth of seed & fertilizer • Texted Mom • Talked about horses • Called my Farrier Supply to check on bill correction • Texted Shug • Carried out squirrel corn for old man • Shared grapes with John. It’s our thing now. • Adjusted hat. Wished I hadn’t bought it. • Assisted a new equine owner on the phone about feeding hay. Again. For the sixteenth time. Also assured her that when he ran in his pasture, holding his head sideways, & kicking his heels up that he wasn’t having a seizure or feeling the need to break out of his enclosure. • Ate leftover red beans & rice for lunch • Adjusted hat • Got called Pinky • Trolled Facebook • Gave several suggestions to my friend Kay about what to do…

Fascination

Day 6: Someone Who Fascinates Me & Why The human population. It fascinates me that we’re not all dead, with our failure to use turn signals, to yield to emergency vehicles & people in the passing lane, & inability to follow directions. Also, that I haven’t been shot yet due to my extreme sarcasm in all instances. Also, mermaids. Because mermaids…

My Life In Seven Years

Day 14: My Life in Seven Years One of my coworkers is a guy with whom I attended college. He regularly reminds people he’s known me almost 20 years & I haven’t changed a bit, why do they expect me to be different from one week to the next? You can’t do anything with me; I’m set in stone. My temper hasn’t lessened, my sense of humor still runs to goofy, my favorite cowboy is still George Strait, my taste in clothing hasn’t varied much, & I still work at the Coop & drive the same Chevy pickup. Anybody I’ve kept in touch with will tell you I’m the same; I don’t change. But seven years ago, I subsided on a primarily liquid diet. I wasn’t married, with no real prospects on the horizon. I was quite a bit thinner, but we won’t talk about that. These days I cook at least one meal a day & I’m settled & content. Seven years from now will probably find me much the same, still married to Shug, cooking & reading in my spare time. Maybe I’ll have a blog or a book deal by then, but I’m not holding my breath. I don’t respond well to criticism, so I doubt I’ll pursue anything like that. Maybe I’ll…

Three Pet Peeves

Three pet peeves. Only three. Well, I guess that’s why it’s a challenge.  But I must go on. I’m already halfway. #1) People who have pets but don’t take care of them. With some, early on, I do believe it is a knowledge issue, but you can’t claim ignorance forever. Compare your pets with other ones. Can you see hip bones, ribs, on other horses of quality? No. You shouldn’t be able to see them on yours, either. One horse needs two acres, period. Or lots of quality hay. That means no mold. Keep clean water out at all times. If you wouldn’t drink it, neither should your horse. A new lead rope & halter isn’t important to the health of an animal, a clean place to live & plenty to eat IS. I’m far from being an animal rights activist, but I do know that some people aren’t qualified to own a goldfish, let alone anything else. And I also don’t believe that he or she is a “good person”. If you let animals starve & suffer, you are inherently evil. Get rid of them one way or another before you let them suffer. Take care of your dogs, too. No, I don’t mean buying them clothes & grain free dog food (although it really IS worth the money). I mean, provide them…

Your Commute

Day 13: Your Commute To/ From Work, School, etc. Me & Patsy for the last fifteen years. And I am, without fail, LATE. My commute is about 15 miles each way, about a twenty minute trip on a good day. But it’s not bad because it’s all highway, no interstate or sitting through a million red lights in town or tourist traffic, so I don’t mind so much. And it’s scenic. There are people who appreciate the beauty of the surrounding area & want to take a picture to capture it, & there are people who zoom through life & don’t look up & appreciate it. And then there are people like me who want to write about it and try to describe the purple mountain’s majesty. It IS truly magnificent. In the morning, my first glimpse comes as I top the hill at the McMansions & if the sunlight isn’t in my eyes I take it all in with a deep breath & remind myself how fortunate I am to live here. I am ashamed to say that more often than not I’m aggravated that whoever’s in front of me is poking along, riding their brakes. Then there’s the congestion around the schools, but I usually slip right through. The real catastrophe comes at the McDonalds/ Weigels intersection. You can’t stir ‘em with a stick! Forget about turning left out of there. At the light, I look around…

Two Phrases That Make Me Laugh

Day 12: Two Words/ Phrases That Make You Laugh #1) Toot ta la froot! ~ Joey on Friends, where Phoebe tries to teach him French. Oh my Lort, even though I’ve seen every episode approximately 300 times, that gets me every time. Johnny randomly texts it to me & I crack up. I think I’ll text him now 🙂 #2) Can I pet your dog?  There’s this meme on Pinterest that I found one time with this terrified looking little kid running from a (photoshopped) Mastiff/ Shepherd mix. It’s freaking hilarious. I’ll find it & post it in the comments. For years, I kept a “Quote Book”. In a way, I still do. It’s where I recorded one liners, more often than not, funny ones. I could flip through it & get a lift. I could certainly use it this dreary morning…

Such is Life

I hate it when you’re driving down the road, all happy to be off work, sun shining, windows down… And a bug flies into your cheek. And you don’t know what kind it was so you debate pulling over in case it’s a venomous type, but you overcome your fear until ten minutes later you feel it crawling up your arm & it’s a red wasper so then you do flip out & try not to crash as you squash it with one of the 78 napkins from various fast food joints lying on the seat. Then, once you do squash it, you’re afraid it’s gonna come back to life & crawl out of the napkin & sting you for spite but you don’t wanna be a litterbug & throw it out the window even though it would eventually disintegrate. So you save it till you’re sweating from anxiety & wait till no cars around & DO IT then come home & confess your litterbugging sinful self among your peers on Facebook. Side note: I think tomorrow I’m putting my Fitbit on Lightning Bug (the more hyperactive of the dogs). I want to see what happens…

Twinkies

Clint & I ordered the same shirts this go round. Not on purpose. I discovered this when he wore his a while back. So this morning, I asked John, who had been upstairs, if we were wearing the same shirt. John carefully looked at me. “Yes, but he’s not wearing that headband.” So I call Clint. “What are you wearing?” “A long sleeved button up shirt.” “Is it the small navy & white check?” “Yes.” “We’re Twinkies. I’ll be up for a photo shoot directly.” Luckily, I had another matching headband, & somehow coerced him into putting it on. Ladies & gentlemen, CEO of Sevier Farmers Coop, & yours truly. p.s. He said the only time anybody wants their picture with him is to make themselves look better. I told him not to worry, it was not a flattering picture of me; my hair’s weird & my face is scrunched up because I was laughing so hard at his Lt. Dan headband…

Ageism WC#1

Day 9: Your Feelings on Ageism I had to look it up on my dictionary app to make sure it’s what I thought it was. I was correct. “A discrimination against a certain age group” or “a tendency to view older persons as debilitated, unworthy of attention, or unsuitable for employment.” I’m not sure who came up with these writing prompts, but I feel that I could write more dramatically about something else. The ‘unworthy of attention’ pulls at me…but I’m liable to get pulled off on a tangent. Oh well, here goes nothin’. We have several old men working at the Co-op, so I have firsthand experience with this. I don’t feel that they should get special treatment. If they can’t hack it, they should be sent home. Just like a younger person with a strong back would be. (Unless you could be moved to a lighter duty position). Keeping one person because you feel sorry for them is just preventing someone else from having work. That being said, there is one that works circles around most of us. And there is one who ain’t worth shootin’, in my opinion. There is one who is an icon, we keep him around for his brain. And there’s one who stays as lost as last year’s Easter egg. I don’t think he…

A Book I Loved…and One I Didn’t

A Book You Love & One You Didn’t There are so many things wrong with this subject. First of all the words “One” & “A”. Like I could seriously pick just one of each. But I will try. It’s fairly easy to pick one I love because I just finished it. It kept my attention like few have in the past few years. It was my Book Club’s selection for this month: Fever by Mary Beth Keane. It’s the story of Typhoid Mary, set in the early years of the 20th century. New York City’s lower east side tenements were teeming with disease and filth & Mary was a cook for some of the richest families of Manhattan. She is an unmarried Irish immigrant with strong opinions & an even stronger work ethic. Yeah, I know it sounds boring, but I am telling you it is gripping & engrossing enthralling & all the words. She makes it so interesting & causes you to speculate on your own life. Are you where you’d thought you’d be as an adult? Do you think it will always be as it is now? What if you are old & lose your job & no one wants you? What if the thing you love & that you are best at is punishable by law if you practice it? What if the man you love is an alcoholic…