I hate it when you’re driving down the road, all happy to be off work, sun shining, windows down…

And a bug flies into your cheek.

And you don’t know what kind it was so you debate pulling over in case it’s a venomous type, but you overcome your fear until ten minutes later you feel it crawling up your arm & it’s a red wasper so then you do flip out & try not to crash as you squash it with one of the 78 napkins from various fast food joints lying on the seat. Then, once you do squash it, you’re afraid it’s gonna come back to life & crawl out of the napkin & sting you for spite but you don’t wanna be a litterbug & throw it out the window even though it would eventually disintegrate. So you save it till you’re sweating from anxiety & wait till no cars around & DO IT then come home & confess your litterbugging sinful self among your peers on Facebook.

Side note: I think tomorrow I’m putting my Fitbit on Lightning Bug (the more hyperactive of the dogs). I want to see what happens.