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Category: Bad Poetry
There’s no help for it
You ask me what I’m doingBut if you’d think you’d already knowI’m watching the world wake upFrom my porchI’m admiring the sparkle of the dew in the grass like forgotten jewelsAnd counting birdsAnd listening to water dripThe locusts are gearing upAs I sip my coffeeWhile Chester makes his roundsThe tiny lizard darts among my flowerpotsOld Glory At half staffIs still proudNot beatenJust a little brokenFor a little whileNo breeze stirs her this morningA few bees out already Seek nectar from my petuniasI watch the chickens compete for bugsJerking their heads, their keen eyes zero in on their next victimAnother leaf drops from my redbudsTraffic is increasingAs the sun gets brighterAnd I suppose I should get upBut I’ll miss all thisSo instead I write a poemThat doesn’t rhymeThat most people won’t understandAnd I tell you simply, “Sittin’ on my porch…
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I have wished forSkinnier legsPerfect visionClearer skinBetter math skillsA flatter stomachStraight hairLonger hairLess hairMore manageable hair all aroundOr at least no frizzI have wished forA less demanding jobA windfall of moneyA helicopterFor things I’ve already procuredI have wished forSunny skies And rainy daysA broken heart to mendDifferent endingsA dog to live longerBetter barbeque sauceNo speeding ticketAs I topped 100I have wished forIsland vacationsNo snakesMore comfortable shoesA meeting with Sturgill SimpsonA phone callAnd to simply go homeI have wished forPeople to changePeople to stay the samePeople to stayPeople to goPeople to disappearTo forgetAnd forgiveI have wished for many thingsSome I gotSome I prayed forSome I worked forSome that aren’t within my reachBut that never kept me from wishingFor one more thingAnd I hopeWishes are like pennies That they turn upJust when you need one…
I am finding itTerribly overrated To be an adultA responsible adult, that isBecause all we do isGet a job(Smile)Keep the job(Still smiling)Drive back and forth to the job(Don’t kill anybody)Go grocery shopping To buy foodThat has to be cookedWith other foodTo be consumedShave your legsFloss your teeth(So you can smile)Vacuum sweep mopDust dust dustMow the yard so the neighbors won’t talkAnd you won’t have snakesPaint patch plungePay bills on timeEvery timePick out insurance (Which isn’t nearly as fun as picking out pocketbooks)Separate laundryFold laundryMatch socksDry cleanersPut away laundryWeigh yourself Critique yourself Compare yourself(Smile)Don’t miss appointments Schedule more appointments Buy giftsAttend events(All the smiling)Understand politicsPick a sidePick a candidate Pick a teamFollow sportsFind a soul mate(So much smiling)Know how to sewHow to walk in heelsHow to tame your hairHow to change a tireHow to say thank youAnd I’m sorry Grieve with graceAnd dignityAnd never lose your coolBecause you may never come back To all this madnessIf you go crazy…
It would not doFor me to love you To the point of distraction As I am already distracted And barely rememberTo put on shoesNever mind tying themAnd anywayPoets are fluttery soulsAnd you don’t want thatYou should probably seekSomeone who is groundedAnd knows where the flashlight isIn case of a power outageI’d rather have candles anyway…
To be a mountain girlYou must be cold as frost on the tin roofAnd hot as cinders from the wood stoveYou must be witty on your comebacksAnd sharp as grandpa’s yellow Case knife To be a mountain girlYou must be tough as a pine knot And delicate as a monarchs wings as they pulseYou must be soft as spring’s peach fuzzAnd hard as the fallen walnut To be a mountain girlYou must know how to sew with catgutAnd how to heal with aloe and plantainYou must be able to rise and bake biscuitsAnd rest in the heat of the day To be a mountain girlYou must know how to bait your own hookAnd keep up with who’s buried whereYou must know who married whoAnd where their children scattered to To be a mountain girlYou have to talk to crittersAnd go barefoot most of the yearYou must know how to plant by the signsAnd what made that track To be a mountain girlYou will appreciate each day as it comesAnd be grateful to the one who made itYou will prepare as much as you canAnd give grace at every turn To be a mountain girlYou should be capable of shooting straightBoth with a gun and your mouthAnd you should have casseroles in the deep freezeAnd a stack of cards to send in sympathy or thanks To be a mountain girlIs to know which way to the riverAnd where to dig sangAnd hold the note on…
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I wonder If people lay on their deathbed And wish they had added salt To their green beans And put butter on their biscuits And idled awhile longer In the bath I wonder If they wish They had jumped from an airplane Or seen the ocean one more time Or ordered a filet Instead of the pork chop I wonder If they think calories and carbs Are still important Or hugging that friend a minute longer And splurging on fresh cut flowers Just to brighten a dreary day I wonder If they think of things left unsaid Or things they shouldn’t have said Or maybe one last cigarette One last swallow of liquor One last kiss from the one they loved best I wonder Why it takes Death To slow us down To speculate And prioritize…
