Day 18: Your Favorite Color & Why
Pink is my signature color.
It’s happy, it’s girly, it’s pretty. I’ve always loved pink. I prefer hot pink or coral, not pastel pink. I always get compliments when I wear it. I love the Palmer house in Charleston. And The Olde Pink House in Savannah. I wouldn’t have a problem living in a grand old pink mansion.
“My cuhl-ahs are blush & bashful.”
“Your CUHL-ahs are pink & pink.”
“I have chosen two VERY distinct shades of pink, one is much deeper than the other.”
Fire in the sky this morning. Thankfully, it was just from the sun (or Son) & not from missile strikes.
Did I ever tell you about the first time I went to Nebraska? It was for an animal health trip, way back when in like, February of 2002, I think.
Anyway, we were on our way back to the airport, riding along in the van before daylight, across all these cornfields & wheat fields. The sky began to lighten & I blinked like a rat coming out of hibernation. It looked like it was going to be something truly spectacular, with these streaks of pink threading through the darkness.
I’d had a pretty late night the evening before, but I struggled awake, thinking “I don’t want to miss this.” So I battled fatigue & kept my eyes open & watched as more light blue filtered its way into the sky. I thought the outlines of the irrigation systems would be a stunning contrast against the brightening horizon.
And then, suddenly, everything was drenched in white light & it was over.
No magnificent blazing sky. Not much of nothing, really. It looked like the middle of the day. To say I was disappointed is an understatement.
But at least East Tennessee knows how to do it right.
Day 17: A Quote You Try To Live By
Well, there are several.
I tried to find some scriptures that relate to how I strive for compassion and patience, but ran out of patience hunting them.
So I went to my Pinterest quote board, aptly named “I Do Declare!”. Most of them don’t have an author noted, but here are a few that you can say I live by:
Be a flamingo in a flock of pigeons
Start each day like it’s your birthday
Speak the truth even if your voice shakes {LOVE}
Go ahead, underestimate me.
Some days you have to create your own sunshine
Be BOLD or italic never regular.
And the one that’s been taped to my computer at work for years: All of us could learn a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. ~Devon Stutzman
That’s all I’ve got for you today.
I don’t understand the concept of entitlement. For example, commending someone for not stealing. Almost every day, someone comes to the counter to pay for some bolts. Some of them can get fairly expensive, as far as bolts go, & it never fails that someone says, “I could’ve stuck these in my pocket, you would have never known.” While that’s true, the Good Lord would know. And it’s wrong. I’m not going to thank you for not stealing. If you’ll steal a bolt, you’ll steal a car. I could set the Co-op on fire, too, but I choose not to do so. It’s wrong.
What the heck?!
11-17-15 11:16 am
Day 16: Bullet Your Entire Day
• Woke up (late)
• Burned tongue sipping coffee
• Fixed up beans in the crock pot
• Attire change after brisk walk to start Patsy, which left no time for makeup
• Belted out “Mama He’s Crazy” on commute
• Learned my brake light is out on the Amy side
• Thought about crawling through phone & choking woman customer who was pricing tile
• Peeled tangerine & ate it
• Wished I was home reading
• Wished I hadn’t forgotten my crackers
• Got called Pinky
• Emailed Loveday about Purina feed
• Sold a ton of reindeer feed to Kyle
• Stuffed new Montana Silver in case & hoped Kelvin & Nancy will come by soon to fix my merchandising catastrophe
• Sold $3000 worth of seed & fertilizer
• Texted Mom
• Talked about horses
• Called my Farrier Supply to check on bill correction
• Texted Shug
• Carried out squirrel corn for old man
• Shared grapes with John. It’s our thing now.
• Adjusted hat. Wished I hadn’t bought it.
• Assisted a new equine owner on the phone about feeding hay. Again. For the sixteenth time. Also assured her that when he ran in his pasture, holding his head sideways, & kicking his heels up that he wasn’t having a seizure or feeling the need to break out of his enclosure.
• Ate leftover red beans & rice for lunch
• Adjusted hat
• Got called Pinky
• Trolled Facebook
• Gave several suggestions to my friend Kay about what to do about a trespassing hunter who BUILT A TREESTAND in HER FENCED woods. It involved fire, cussing, & guns a-blazin’, & not blue paint, like TWRA suggested.
• Ate three chocolate chip cookies
• Moved pastel hedgehogs
• Put out peanuts
• Petted a dog
• Developed serious, immediate heartburn. Yankee saved the day with pink pepto pills
• Interviewed Hardin for this week’s feature. Rode in 550 to tile pile. Wished I had walked & met step goal
• Discussed camping, fudge, & the F550 with Willie
• Whined about my feet hurting, which led to Irene saying, “I like the way you pout.” To which I responded, “I’ve never heard that before.” She said she’d never said it before. Told her she might get quote of the day
• Wondered if anyone would notice if I took a nap on a pallet of grass seed
• Told a man on the phone four different times that we did not stock coated cable or chain
• Greeted Shug, who stopped by to check on getting new tires, who promptly called me Pinky & made fun of my hat
• Introduced Shug to my friend Carol
• Basked as they both said how much they love me
• Carried out dog food for a little ole lady
• Laughed when Carol told me about her featherless chicken who is residing in her living room, that she plans to buy diapers for so it can be free range. Evidently Amazon sells them. Best part: she says, “I am the biggest redneck. Nobody would believe I’m from New York. My friends up there don’t know what to think.”
• Gladly accepted crab fettuccine from my favorite Coonass
• Counted money & clocked out
• Must. Pass. All the cars!!!!
• Struggled with empty peanut boxes (I have a thing for them, they’re really cute & a perfect size)
• Began dinner preparations
• Washed dishes
• Typed all this crap
• Hunted Belk bill, found KUB bill that was due today
• Trolled Facebook
• Ate dinner (beans, cornbread, kraut & weenies, fried potatoes)
• Washed dishes
• Showered
• Read more of The Fate of Mercy Alban
• Bed
• Lay there thinking of witty comebacks I should have used today
• Wondered if Donald Trump tried the moonshine while in Knoxville
• Thanked God for my blessings
(Everything after bullet about eating dinner is speculation. This is what I imagine my evening to be, it’s the norm)
Day 6: Someone Who Fascinates Me & Why
The human population. It fascinates me that we’re not all dead, with our failure to use turn signals, to yield to emergency vehicles & people in the passing lane, & inability to follow directions. Also, that I haven’t been shot yet due to my extreme sarcasm in all instances.
Also, mermaids. Because mermaids.
Day 14: My Life in Seven Years
One of my coworkers is a guy with whom I attended college. He regularly reminds people he’s known me almost 20 years & I haven’t changed a bit, why do they expect me to be different from one week to the next? You can’t do anything with me; I’m set in stone.
My temper hasn’t lessened, my sense of humor still runs to goofy, my favorite cowboy is still George Strait, my taste in clothing hasn’t varied much, & I still work at the Coop & drive the same Chevy pickup. Anybody I’ve kept in touch with will tell you I’m the same; I don’t change.
But seven years ago, I subsided on a primarily liquid diet. I wasn’t married, with no real prospects on the horizon. I was quite a bit thinner, but we won’t talk about that.
These days I cook at least one meal a day & I’m settled & content.
Seven years from now will probably find me much the same, still married to Shug, cooking & reading in my spare time. Maybe I’ll have a blog or a book deal by then, but I’m not holding my breath. I don’t respond well to criticism, so I doubt I’ll pursue anything like that. Maybe I’ll start playing the lottery & win big & be on permanent vacation.
“Maybe I’ll dye my hair
Maybe I’ll move somewhere
Maybe I’ll get a car
Maybe I’ll drive so far
They’ll all lose track
Me, I’ll bounce right back
Maybe I’ll sleep real late
Maybe I’ll lose some weight
Maybe I’ll clear my junk
Maybe I’ll just get drunk on apple wine
Hey, maybe I’ll learn to sew
Maybe I’ll just lie low
Maybe I’ll hit the bars
Maybe I’ll count the stars until dawn
Maybe I’ll settle down
Maybe I’ll just leave town
Maybe I’ll have some fun
Maybe I’ll meet someone
And make him mine
Me, I’ll be just
Fine and dandy
Lord it’s like a hard candy Christmas
I’m barely getting through tomorrow
But still I won’t let
Sorrow bring me way down”
Sorry I couldn’t resist adding Dolly. I was starting to sound like her.
Three pet peeves. Only three. Well, I guess that’s why it’s a challenge.
But I must go on. I’m already halfway.
#1) People who have pets but don’t take care of them. With some, early on, I do believe it is a knowledge issue, but you can’t claim ignorance forever. Compare your pets with other ones. Can you see hip bones, ribs, on other horses of quality? No. You shouldn’t be able to see them on yours, either. One horse needs two acres, period. Or lots of quality hay. That means no mold. Keep clean water out at all times. If you wouldn’t drink it, neither should your horse. A new lead rope & halter isn’t important to the health of an animal, a clean place to live & plenty to eat IS. I’m far from being an animal rights activist, but I do know that some people aren’t qualified to own a goldfish, let alone anything else. And I also don’t believe that he or she is a “good person”. If you let animals starve & suffer, you are inherently evil. Get rid of them one way or another before you let them suffer. Take care of your dogs, too. No, I don’t mean buying them clothes & grain free dog food (although it really IS worth the money). I mean, provide them a place to run, keep them up to date on vaccinations & free of fleas. If you think it’s cruel to chain them, have a secure fence, or keep them inside. Your neighbors don’t want to clean up the mess your dog makes, or feed them. And when your dog is ailing, & can’t get around, & can’t eat or drink, it’s time. Let them go in a dignified fashion. Don’t hold on because you’re selfish.
Goes triple for giving birth to humans. Adoption is an option.
#2) Misspelled words on the internet. If you’re gonna go to the trouble of writing, look over it. If you know you can’t spell, try not to post until you’ve got it right. The world IS silently judging you, whether they say so or not. And in my case, wondering how you have a better paying job than me. Do you send emails to your boss? Do you see them secretly snickering behind your back? If not, are they smarter than you? I understand that some people are good at math. I am not one of those people. Therefore, I utilize the calculator on a regular basis to avoid looking like an idiot. You, too, have tools at your disposal. You know that squiggly red line under half your words? That’s your friend. It’s known as spell check. Use it. This is stuff we learned in second grade, people.
Your= belonging to you. i.e. your coat, your husband, your hurt feelings.
You’re=a contraction of you are. i.e. You’re going to get angry reading these because you know you’re guilty of them.
There=a place. i.e. I went there last week with your sister.
Their=belonging to them. i.e. Put their coats in the spare bedroom.
They’re=a contraction of they are. i.e. They’re going to want their coats after dinner.
To= an action. i.e. Do you want to go get ice cream?
Too= Additionally. i.e. I want ice cream, too.
Two= a number. i.e. I want two scoops of ice cream.
Whether= defining differences. i.e. I can’t decide whether I want to go to the party or stay home & read.
Weather= conditions outside. i.e. I will probably stay home from the party because the weather is treacherous.
Seriously, y’all. Second grade.
#3) People who drive in the passing lane without passing anybody. You are breaking the law & you are a hazard to all of us. GET OVER OR GO ON.
I think my blood pressure probably rose just writing about these. Help a sister out: don’t do it.
Day 13: Your Commute To/ From Work, School, etc.
Me & Patsy for the last fifteen years. And I am, without fail, LATE. My commute is about 15 miles each way, about a twenty minute trip on a good day. But it’s not bad because it’s all highway, no interstate or sitting through a million red lights in town or tourist traffic, so I don’t mind so much. And it’s scenic.
There are people who appreciate the beauty of the surrounding area & want to take a picture to capture it, & there are people who zoom through life & don’t look up & appreciate it. And then there are people like me who want to write about it and try to describe the purple mountain’s majesty. It IS truly magnificent.
In the morning, my first glimpse comes as I top the hill at the McMansions & if the sunlight isn’t in my eyes I take it all in with a deep breath & remind myself how fortunate I am to live here. I am ashamed to say that more often than not I’m aggravated that whoever’s in front of me is poking along, riding their brakes. Then there’s the congestion around the schools, but I usually slip right through. The real catastrophe comes at the McDonalds/ Weigels intersection. You can’t stir ‘em with a stick! Forget about turning left out of there. At the light, I look around, awed by how much Seymour has built up over the years. How many times have I met people at “the bank”? It’s nice to have all these amenities around, but I can’t help but miss the Dairy Delight. It doesn’t seem normal that we have so many choices on where to eat, where to have our teeth cleaned, where to get gas, & where to buy groceries. We’ve always had plenty of places to worship. On a clear day, you can see the smokies, but the Bluff is always impressive, & you can pick out radio towers & cabins dotted along the ridge.
I pass Floyd’s, with the squirrel on top of the flagpole & the helicopter on the roof (I don’t know why) & proceed with caution around the Wye. Too many wrecks through here. Too many wrecks down Chapman, period. I look for deer on the Delozier’s property, sometimes you’ll see them, & turkeys too, more often than not. The fog lays thick through the hollers this time of year, & the barn on the hill looks eerie & haunted. I like the Angus cows with their fuzzy rounded ears on the Teague Farm. On to Tarwater Stretch, & I marvel that people I have traveled with from Seymour are still cruising along in the left hand lane. That’s a death wish, if you ask me.
It’s not long till I’m at the city limits; Jim’s beautiful flowerbeds greet me. I slow, because I don’t want the po-po meeting me as well. Down the hill, the steeple of First Baptist & the pinnacle of the bank make up the Sevierville skyline. Watch for eagles, see if the Legion Building sign is boasting a book sale or pancake breakfast anytime soon. Cross the river & I’m here. Pull in the parking lot of the renovated red barn looking Co-op & try to smile & convince myself I’m glad to be here & it will fly right by.
Ten hours later, I’m on my way back, & hopefully in a good mood. Because I’m an aggressive driver anyway, after spending all day in the company of people who don’t understand, my patience is SHOT. Get outta my way. The background music of my morning ride is usually old country (or maybe classical), the afternoon is all about Guns-n-Roses, Aerosmith, or maybe some sassy Miranda. I try not to break the law, since I most certainly broke it earlier, & I hope that it cancels itself out.
Once I eventually wind my way back to my humble home, I am greeted by two slobbery pit bulls. I miss being welcomed by my border collie/blue heeler cross, rain or shine, without fail. But the man who comes out after them to open the gate makes my heart leap. And I feel fortunate to be back safely.
Day 12: Two Words/ Phrases That Make You Laugh
#1) Toot ta la froot! ~ Joey on Friends, where Phoebe tries to teach him French. Oh my Lort, even though I’ve seen every episode approximately 300 times, that gets me every time. Johnny randomly texts it to me & I crack up. I think I’ll text him now 🙂
#2) Can I pet your dog? There’s this meme on Pinterest that I found one time with this terrified looking little kid running from a (photoshopped) Mastiff/ Shepherd mix. It’s freaking hilarious. I’ll find it & post it in the comments.
For years, I kept a “Quote Book”. In a way, I still do. It’s where I recorded one liners, more often than not, funny ones. I could flip through it & get a lift. I could certainly use it this dreary morning.
