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Amy
Some of you who follow closely are probably confused. First of all, there are technically 40 days of Lent observed. But there at the start, I didn’t take off Sundays, so I’m gonna wind up with 44 days by the time Easter gets here. Also, my last post is day 35. Where did the other days go? Well, sometimes you gotta prioritize. And yesterday, something traumatic happened in our little town, and it bears a blog post. Today was going to be for Paris, and the crippling shock of the loss of Notre Dame. It was truly a marvel. And when something stands the test of time and wars for eight centuries you think it will be around forever. But one spark….just one spark and all the history and beauty will crumble. I can only imagine how paralyzed Parisians feel. And were they scared, too? Did they think it was another terrorist attack? Thank God it wasn’t. And I haven’t heard of any casualties, but I haven’t researched it, either. Today is Wednesday, April 17th. Yesterday, I was sitting at the office with my DC and Engineer when a bunch of sirens cut loose and blasted down the road. They were going so fast I swear the building rocked. Which, in itself, is not unusual. They’re always in a hurry going somewhere. Lots of emergencies in this town. Although from my experience it tends to be…
~Wednesday April 10th A long time ago, this lady would come in the Co-op once a week and buy birdseed. She was always friendly but did not loiter. She just got the items on her list and away she went. One day, I inquired after a gentleman that I frequently waited on that worked for the same outfit she did. I hadn’t seen him in awhile, and frankly, I was worried about him. (He was a little gruff, but I like to think I had worn him down some with my cheerful and slightly sarcastic demeanor). That got us to talking. Turns out, we had a lot in common. The more we talked, the more we wanted to talk. She increased her visits to twice a week so we had more chat time. We swapped recipes. We quoted movies. We conversed about mutual acquaintances. It wasn’t long before our talks could no longer be contained to 45 minute segments at the counter & we made plans for an afternoon of floating on the lake. Most of y‘all know I like to be neck deep in water. I don’t even mind fish nibbling at me (although those in the gulf DID get a little aggressive). But Tammy Lynn is convinced that alligators and bull sharks exist in Douglas Lake and they will attack, lest she stay hyper aware. At one point during the afternoon, a sizable fish decided that I was a…
I’m that girl.The one that still prefers to be called “girl”Although clearly it would be totally appropriateTo address me as ma’amI’m still holding on to the pastWith my dyed hairAnd my funky jewelryAnd the bright clothesI still want to be That GirlWho drinks beer on patiosAnd rides with the top downAnd Guns-n-Roses blaringI want to be noticedAnd appreciatedAs ME.I am That GirlWho still can’t do sums in her headAnd doesn’t hesitate to order dessert And happily abandons responsibilites in favor of a good bookI’m the girl who will exercise by throwing a ball for her dogOr swimming in the lakeOr meandering up the mountain just to eat a bag of Chex Mix at a waterfallI don’t want to hurry I want to LOOKAnd SEEAnd DOAll the things I’m not supposed to have time forI’m That GirlWho doesn’t like crowdsWho would rather stay homeAnd eat Chinese on china platesIn front of the TVThan some fine dining establishment where you feel obligated to tip 30% Even though service was less than mediocreAnd your baked potato was coldAnd your salad was warmI’m That GirlWho cries at the National AnthemWho believes in working for what you getWho wants to know how you feel about LIFEI’m That Girl behind the keysBehind the wordsBehind the times…
~Tuesday, April 9th. I’m beginning to run out of things to give up. Especially now that I’m praying for groups of people, so I have no specific requests from individuals who know how to really get under my skin with stuff. (Looking at you, Jena, who made me leave my jewelry at home!) Lent’s not supposed to be easy, though, so I picked something today that I would miss dearly, because my prayers are encompassing. I will do without Google. Yes, I use it all the time at work. I check out the weather. I shop for things I don’t need, but think I do. I use it to look up popular restaurants. Then I use it to find the good restaurants. Yes, I use it even more for song lyrics. Yes, I USE IT FOR EVERYTHING. JUST LIKE YOU DO. And it got me to thinking. Everything I need to know can be found within seconds. And I really depend on it. And I absolutely take it for granted. It is so frustrating when I run out of data, or the internet is down, or I’m in no man’s land and it takes more than ten seconds for a search to come up. But what did the farmers do? What do many of them still do? A long long time ago, before everybody had a cell phone in their pocket, we had a tiny, heavy computer at…
I want to drive on roads with no traffic. And if I do pass someone, I want them to wave out the open window of their pickup truck. I want to be able to apply eyeliner like a pro, not like a left handed raccoon. I want to be able to do all the yoga without quivering. I want to live in an old house in an old city on the ocean with a widow’s walk, though I am no widow. Although I sometimes feel like one. I want to always work at an honest job. I want to keep the one I have. I want to grow things and tend to them with my hands. Tomatoes, aloe, squash. Lilies. Okra. I want to sleep without dreaming. I want to listen to good music and lay in the grass and watch the clouds and hunt for four-leaf clovers all afternoon and not wear shoes at all. I want people to adore my accent, always. I want to be called Amelia by people who love me. I want to go on a trip and not come back until I feel rested and healed. I want to eat cupcakes every day. I want to ride fast horses and read good books and have the softest bath towels in three counties. I want my glasses to stay put. I want to admire trees the rest of my days, and listen to wind chimes and not the honking of cars. I…
I met her at the library, so I knew instantly she was good people. She looked like a mom, but turns out I was wrong about that. She looked like she knew about life, and I was right about that. We have gone on to be cohorts in crime, obsessive texters, and foodies from the get-go. We share book recommendations and pretty much the same taste in music. She does listen to a podcast about small town murders that I haven’t been able to enjoy on the same level. It’s pretty grim, Karen. 😐 We challenge each other to spin more, drink less, and not be assholes. We are known as sloth & honey badger. Baker is gazelle. We tell terrible (politically incorrect and inappropriate) jokes, modify our yoga poses, and share a common interest in dogs, cupcakes, and men. Probably in that order. I’m a problem creator~…well, that’s not precisely true. Problems gravitate to me and I think they’ll go away but they only get worse and then I have to ask Beth for advice and she just calmly untangles the whole mess and folds it up and places it in a Rubbermaid box. With a label. And an expiration date. She’s an accountant. I’m an artist, per se. She’s the closest person I’ve got to a ride or die, because Lisa has kids and lives two hours away…
Today, my prayers are for the lost. I should have made this day one. They’re the most important. Their time is truly limited. I can’t wrap my mind around not believing. It’s like, #1) are we here by accident? Then how did we get here? Ok, if you don’t believe God put us here because you can’t understand that, so you understand the science that some people believe in? I’d much rather just think we were created by a higher form. And that he created the Heavens and universe too. I can’t begin to wrap my head around the Big Bang Theory. Believing in the Lord is easy. And if you’re one of those people who look for signs, I am certain you can find plenty. Just like there is beauty in everything, there is God in everything. Because he created it. And #2) You have nothing to lose. Nobody should think you’re weird for professing a faith. If they do, they’re not very open minded, and does that really line up with everything else they say they believe in? I don’t think so. Just believe! I promise it’s a better life. It’s like having someone forever on your side, forever and always. Romans 8:31 tells us that! What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us…
Today I pray for one of the kindest, most understanding souls I know. I know she’s this way because of what she’s lived through. She was adopted at age 7. Think on that. I don’t know her all that well, really. But I know her husband and that counts for something. He has told me the story of her adoption, and how things came about for her. Today he shared a little more. She is in her late fifties, so if you think foster care and orphanages are depressing and underfunded now, imagine what it was like sixty years ago. Imagine being a little girl in one of these places. Imagine Annie, if you can’t imagine anything else. Luckily for this little girl, a Daddy Warbucks did come along. And he and his wife took the little girl to town and bought her lunch, and ice cream, and a trinket. Imagine it being the first time you ever had a notion of being spoiled. But really it was just being cared for. The sun was on your face and you walked hand in hand with a pretty lady in a flowered dress and hat and heels. And imagine your joy when you came back to the home and the big man declared he was taking you home, to go get your things. Home, as in his home. YOUR new home. That simply wasn’t done. But this was sixty years ago…
Today, I pray for the liars. That’s hard to do. Because, if I’m being honest (huh, the irony) I don’t wish them the best. I wish them the worst, really. Because lying is generally premeditated. It takes some doing. Liars, as you well know, come in all shapes and sizes. They lie to get attention. They lie as a cover up. They lie out of habit. They lie to give their life a little excitement. I don’t understand. It’s like they think they’ll never get caught. I’ve got news for them: the truth always comes out. They think their lies will only hurt themselves, if they hurt anybody. That’s not true either. For instance, if you were to meet someone that somebody you know has been telling tales on, you have a preconceived notion of this person. Which isn’t even true! You can’t give them a fair shake. It’s not fair. And that’s not right. Sometimes it’s not easy to detect a liar. Sometimes the liars seem so good, and the people they talk about are people you’re unlikely to ever run across. So they’ve created a well-laid trap. But eventually….the truth is exposed. And it’s a million times worse if it doesn’t come straight from the liar, with apologies extended for their…
I have asked several of you for prayer requests multiple times. I will not ask again. I understand that sometimes it’s uncomfortable voicing your problems. Even to a friend. I can see where that would be even more difficult than talking to a stranger. I won’t pretend to know all your worries and fears and struggles, but I know a few of them. And don’t borrow trouble, I’m not going to type them out here. Maybe that’s what concerns you, that even though I don’t have to use your name, someone could figure out who I was writing about. I get it. Thomas Wolfe was ostracized from Asheville after he wrote Look Homeward Angel. He didn’t use their real names, but the descriptions were so blindingly obvious (and accurate) people talked for decades. I haven’t read it (yet, it’s a book club selection later this year) but I say maybe the folks of Asheville should have treated him with a little more respect if they didn’t want their faults and realities trotted out for all to enjoy. I mean, read. Anyway. No matter. Some of you struggle with family issues, or career issues, or health issues. Some of you struggle to simply believe. Trust me, I get it. There’s nothing to be ashamed about. You just talk to the Lord and work it out. It’ll be…
