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Amy
I could write about unrequited loveOr barely suppressed hateFor I have both in spadesThis unseasonable November dayBut maybe I won’t write about either- Since it’s expectedAnd will purge insteadOf the act of cleaning my teethMeticulously Or how about How badly I desire Oreo cookiesPerhaps I should be the one to sayThat really the leaves weren’t that striking this yearAt leastNot where I stoodBut you are still waiting aren’t youFor me to fulfill the emotionHeld in checkShould I tell-Neither are a secretNot in the traditional sense But noIt’s like how I have been wanting to watch a movieBut I won’t Because then you wouldn’t have your poemAnd have your poem you shallI don’t remember what I set out to doBecause it is now January All the color faded from the worldAll the glitter and sparkles packed awayFor another yearAnd where will it find meI sat out On my birthdayThe halfway point almostAnd gathered my courageAnd walked to the edge of the yielding limbAnd JUMPEDI couldn’t bring my words backI didn’t want to anywayAnd even though they weren’t repeatedI still know the truthEven though you pretend you don’t And yesterday Proved something else I thought I knewBut it turned my stomach unexpectedly More words that have been spokenAnd won’t go backYears of loaded looks Harmless flirtingBut is it harmless, really?So here I am Writing more wordsConvincing myself it’s all realThat love still existsBut it rarely comes…
I wish I could hate himThat’s what the poems would sayIf the poets were honestBecause it’s too hardI don’t have the energyTo be ScarlettNor do I haveThe sensibility I can’t help my heartAnd it rarely helps meBut the poets will gather their willAnd their quillsAnd find a quiet cornerOr perhaps a bench under a willow treeTo bleed their soulAnd maybeIf they really meant itThey’d put rocks in their pocketsAnd walk steadilyTill they were over their headsDying beautifully And tragically Just like their poem said they wouldProbably the daffodilIn their lapel Wouldn’t even lose a petalAs they flung themselves off a cliffBut me?In a rageMy hair wild and unbound and unbrushedFlinging crockeryAnd maybe a high heeled shoeSpitting venomSo harshlyMy throat would be sore for daysHaving a plan that involvesKerosene and a matchbookFrom a bar calledThe Wayward ThistleAnd a knife clenched between my teethAnd yetI remember to be a ladyAnd so I sit placidly With my sonnetsWriting about unrequited loveAnd bourbon cherriesBecause peaches are overdoneJust like roses…
I have satAnd I have lainAnd I have wallowedAnd I have stretched Upon this couchOn this porchWhere I have heard children shriek on the other side of the fenceAnd sprinklers hiss and spit like snakesAnd trains clatter and roar to their next destination And watched From this perch a few feet above earthwormsTornadoes rip apart livesLess than three miles awayAnd bugs fry on the blue light Just thereAnd I have sweated directly underneath this fanGuzzling beerBut it was worth it Just to sit and be at peaceBut this weekend I have been wadded in a blanket In the early hoursAnd it was perfectionWith my red wine and book As the night got deeperAnd nowOn my last nightI write this poemAnd wonder why people need TVs…
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This is going to come as a shock to most all of you: I used to not like pit bulls. I know. Hard to believe, innit? But it’s true, Scout’s Honor. I thought they were ugly, number one, and number two, vicious. I didn’t need to know anything else. Well. Then as most of you know, I met a dog that changed all that. He was 5’10”, had blue eyes, and a propensity to drink too much. Hahaha. But honestly, a love of pit pulls was spawned with that relationship and the love of the bully breed certainly outlasted the marriage. Sugar was my first encounter with the Staffordshire Terrier. We pittie people say that to throw people off. Pit bull is a generic term used to describe a bulldog with certain characteristics, like a muscular build and block head. Sugar was papered out the whatsit. She was one of the most pedigreed dogs I’ve ever known. And dumb as a river rock sittin’ on the bottom, growin’ moss. (Credit to the late Uncle Dale) She honestly didn’t have enough sense to get out of the rain. She could eat more than any dog I’ve ever seen, which is unusual for a dog that’s never been starved. She was steel gray, and virtually impossible to see after the sun went down. Loyal, loving, and impossibly stupid, she would lope around outside…
I had to give my dog one last pat And rub those velvet earsJust one final time before I left my sanctuary And I had to be extra careful walking down the pathAs it had rained last night and Jewel colored leaves were stuck making my way slickThen I stopped to have a discussion with my neighborAbout the woolyworm she found on her porchWhich of course led to talk of the impending winterAnd so then when I finally got in my carWithout my coffeeI had to find just the right song to start my dayAnd as I drove inI was mesmerized by the fog rolling steadily across the mountainIt wasn’t so much the colors that stopped meOn the side of the road to take a blurry picture As it was the way the light was sparkling so clear With the mist continuing on its journey Nothing delaying it Unlike myselfWho had been interrupted half a dozen times already It is Fall Break after allBut I didn’t go to the beachI stayed right hereWhere I belongAnd I thought of how some people get itAnd it’s second nature to use certain phrasesAnd it’s musical These mountain waysSo anywayThat’s why I’m lateAnd it didn’t help that I hit snooze twice…
I don’t want To straighten my hair To trade my glasses for contacts To lose weight To wear trendy clothes So you can say I’m pretty I also don’t need your acceptance I just want to be left alone To drink my coffee in peace And enjoy the wind on my face Because I don’t care enough About my appearance To leave the windows up Have you realized how deprived You are And how limited to liking certain things Just to fit in When you tell yourself You’re standing out I wish you would sing Like nobody’s listening (Because they’re not) And if they are They just wish they had the courage to sing Like you’re doing And have fun In that abandoned fashion I wish you would dance Even though you wore the wrong shoes And it’s so hot And you don’t know these people All the more reason The blisters will heal The sweat will dry And the people will forget If they remember at all Eat the cheese The doughnuts The cake The steak Drink the liquor The cheap wine The mountain dew that’s no good for you Hold the hand Make the call Because you get one trip It’s not easy to be a nerd In a party crowd To be a gardener In a city To embrace your contentedness In a room full Of money hungry Power tripping Hustlers If only You could…
My commute to work sucks. It doesn’t suck because of roadwork, or a road that NEEDS work. It doesn’t suck because it’s choked with air pollution or that it’s an exceedingly long drive. It doesn’t suck on account of the view or a particularly narrow and windy path. It sucks because people are in a hurry and there are way too many of them. I drive through school traffic the second I leave my driveway. There are four literally on top of me, and Kings Academy on one route I take to get to the highway. If I go Boyds Creek I contend with another school. There is no way to win. Every. Single. Day. I contend with tailgaters and road rage. I don’t care to tell you I travel 10 mph over the speed limit and I always have at least one car during my journey following so closely I cannot see their headlights. It’s often I’m not even the one holding up traffic; I’m in a long line of travelers just trying to get there. It gives me major anxiety and I honestly don’t know what to do about it. There are limited places to pull off the road and let them pass, but what good does that do when there’s another one blasting up through there to take their place? I don’t know…
I hope that my words never seem disrespectful. I usually feel the need to purge and sometimes it’s about sensitive subjects. I have been labeled a sensitive soul, because I tend to cry at the drop of a hat. But in the meantime, my smart mouth is forever earning me the label of…well, you know. You’ve heard. I AM strong-willed, I have no lies to tell. I say all this because I didn’t take a picture today. It would have been disrespectful to take out my phone and snap one, no matter how badly I wanted to remember the beauty of it. I have only my words. I go to a ton of funerals. I don’t see it as morbid. I was raised up in funeral homes like some kids are raised in church. Seems like somebody all the time was dying. Holly Hills, Berry’s, Atchley’s, Rawlings, McCammon-Ammons were the ones locally that we frequented. Once I started working at the Co-op, we occasionally branched out to Newport and Morristown. College friends laying their parents to rest were sometimes surprised to see me turn up, not understanding that I was raised to comfortably attend these events. It doesn’t matter if it’s Greeneville or Cookeville or Murfreesboro. I will come. People don’t seem to understand that you don’t have to know the person who passed, you…
Have you ever been treated as an outcast? Like you were the only kid in your class who wore glasses, or had freckles or curly hair? Or maybe you were a transplant from some far away city into a rural type town. Have you ever felt like you were the only one? And so, since you didn’t have anyone to talk to, you turned to books. And in books you found others just like you, a kid who had glasses and curly hair. A kid who had divorced parents. A country kid in a city school. A kid who wanted a dog but only had two goldfish in a glass bowl on the kitchen counter. You identified with these characters because they had things in common with you, and it seemed like a miracle because you were all alone until you discovered this book that appeared to be written just for you. Some kids are fortunate enough to have parents who talk to them, who pray with them, who teach them right from wrong. Some kids aren’t fearful of talking to a teacher, or a church leader, or maybe they trust a neighbor or relative with their deepest secrets and use them as a moral compass. But some kids don’t have that. Some kids only have books as friends, and as allies. Some kids only have books as a means to justify feelings or to trust with their heart. Maybe these kids use their…
