His looks could be cruel
The snarl his lips make
The cutting eyes
Always smirking 
And he thinks 
That I belong to him
As if I ever did!
That he can summon me 
With no more than a promise
And I will gleefully scamper
To please him 
But no
He never realized
I only entertained him
When I was bored
And I don’t think I’ll be bored again
For I don’t believe 
That he could be bothered
To attend my funeral 
If I were to pass 
And even so
He will be secretly pleased
That I wrote of him first 

He was a crush
We both wished
I had the loose morals
To be so much more
And seal the wistful looks
That meant if only~
But I couldn’t 
Even if he would’ve 
And he would’ve 
But then 
He’d just be like all the rest

You were supposed to be my friend
But you could never leave well enough alone
And you never stopped calling
And texting 
And messaging 
And stopping by
Until I wanted to pull my hair out
And I let your lips say the lie 
That your mind had built
To save you from yourself 
A pity

This one
I never thought I’d rebuke
I thought it was love
For decades
But really you’re a cad
A disappointment 
I held you to a higher standard
We still laugh
And remember 
But I don’t want to talk 
About the past anymore 
When we’re not together 
In the future
And I don’t want you anyway 
Because I see what you are now
And what you aren’t 

And you
A tentacle
You let me go
How many times
You made me crazy
I was not myself 
Timid
Pressured
Controlled
You stripped me of everyone 
So I could only be yours
But you held onto yours
And gathered more
And the keys
But we’re still friends
I’m no longer scared
But I am cautious 
Unafraid because I will never let you that close again

And I’ll lump these together
Because you are all alike
A big talk
A big game
But you won’t even interact on Facebook 
Because your wife
Your girlfriend 
Your friends 
Might see 
Your weakness is me
So erase my comments 
And undo your accidental likes
I see you
Coward

Your mother ruined us x2

One too nice to mention 
Not worth my words
The betrayal saved me

I was back to normal
By the time I met you
A missed opportunity from Before
And I thought it could happen
For real this time
But you turned out to be crazy
Not just indecisive 
But actually broken minded
Persistent 
But not enough to overcome
You lived in an alternate universe 
From those of us who mean what we say

You were supposed to be my forever
And it ended in fire
You thought it would consume me
And tried to give me your hand
I didn’t want your hand
When you couldn’t give me your heart
And I didn’t want your heart
It was black
You’re no patriot
You’re no hero
You’re a liar
And a thief
And an addiction 
That I thought would kill me
But you’re nothing I thought
I hope God still loves you
Because I don’t 

And this should summarize 
Why my dog 
Is the only male welcome
In my house
And the only one I care for
Because he has not lied
Or wasted my time
Or crawled in bed with another woman
…except that one time with my best friend

What’s love
Got to do with it
All I want now
Is safety
A soft place to land
A bed of truths
A vase of lilies once in a while
A nice bottle of red
And a steak still bleeding 
Like my soul