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Monthly Archives: January 2020
Well, I’m not as redneck as I thought. Because I didn’t murder my ex-husband. And let me tell you, he had it coming. I had a hundred different ways to do it. No matter how it happened, it would have taken him by surprise. He thought I loved him too much to kill him. My first thought was to kill him. I’ve told this story several times in the last year or so, and there’s always a moment of total stillness when I pause, just like after you take a shot of tequila. The moment of clarity, of slight pain when you’re just trying to breathe again, and thinking about the effects of your actions. It’s just a perfectly quiet moment. Notice, next time you’re doing shots. Then there’s the exhale. Here’s the story. It was only about 10:30, even though in the movies it’s always the middle of the night. I remember thinking that was ironic. And it was summer, one of those June nights, when no evil ever strikes. But it had. That’s the thing about life. It’s original and unexpected. It wasn’t storming, it wasn’t a full moon (but almost). I read the message and I didn’t cry. I didn’t throw up. I began to shake. And I pivoted on my heel and…
Gulp. Probably not ever. The first thought I had was my relationship with God. I talk a big game but I’ve not had my derriere in a pew for many moons. He may forgive me, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try harder. My list of sins is extensive. Then I thought back on the days when I trained people at Co-op. “Now, this is how you’re supposed to do it, but I do it this way because it’s faster, but don’t do as I do, do as I say.” But I guess it all worked out, they kept throwing me new people like fish to a Sea World dolphin. I hope that everybody knows where they stand with me. I like to think I have honest relationships and if we’re good enough friends we can have an adult conversation and work out a disagreement. Especially if it’s someone I’ve known for 22 years. It’s a struggle to understand being dropped after that kind of history, but it happens. And you just have to let them go. Nothing makes me madder than making plans with someone and they drop you last minute, or worse, don’t show up. I don’t know why you would commit to doing something if you had no intention of following through. It’s a big deal to get…
Evidently goals don’t equal priorities. Maybe I should have read through this list a little better before I committed. There I go, jumping in feet first, as usual. #1 Be happy Sometimes this is hard….but only if I compare my life to others’. And sometimes it’s easy….when I compare my life to others’. A double edged sword. I once read somewhere that if we all threw our problems in a pile, and saw what everybody else was dealing with, we’d jerk ours back right quick. I believe this in my heart and soul. #2 Be thankful This is easy. I did 30 Days of Thankfulness on Facebook several years in a row. But just to remember, and list, even if it’s the same things every day, it doesn’t make me any less thankful. I AM thankful for running water and indoor plumbing and my big soft bed and my cozy house and my lovely job and all my friends and family. I AM thankful for the food in my belly and my strong legs and my determination and willpower. I AM thankful to live in this great country and pray when I want to and salute the flag and honor my President and read any book I want. #3 Be Truthful This does not mean I’m gonna go shouting it from the rooftops, but, as always, be careful when asking for my…
We’ve already been over this….again, patience….Reminds me of that joke of the jackass and his master in the desert. I’ll tell it to you sometime in real life if you’ll remind me. I want to see Graceland. I’ve always loved Elvis. But for the longest, I didn’t really have anybody who shared in this interest, and if they did, they’d already seen it. Evidently for the majority, this is a one and done trip. And I understand that Memphis isn’t the best city to be alone in, so I needed a road trip buddy. I still don’t know if I have that. I’m wanting to stay at The Peabody. This is a historical hotel, and it is a bit pricey. But if this is the only time I’m ever going to visit Memphis, I want to live it up and make the most of my time there. I don’t want to drive over from wherever I’m staying and risk missing the ducks’ pilgrimage. I don’t want to have to trust a shady Uber driver to get me from the bars on Beale back over to my VRBO across town. I want to be able to stagger down the sidewalk and into the lobby of my ritzy hotel. I want to immerse myself in the culture of jazz and see…
Ugggghhh….. this makes my head hurt. I know what I want to say but it’s hard to put into words….words that I don’t care for other people to read, I suppose. I don’t want to forget my marriage. And I don’t want to forget how it ended in divorce. My marriage was good, until it wasn’t. I think anybody in my circle–make that my REALM–could attest to that, not exempting my ex-husband. We were happy. He was presented with a temptation, and because of who he is (self described scorpion), he took it and plunged his stinger into my delicate frog hide. Here. Y’all don’t have any idea what I’m talking about. http://lifestylewithsophiab.com/2018/05/09/life-lesson-scorpion-frog/ But I still have those six years of near bliss, and knowing what it was like to be thoroughly and completely loved. Because he did. He did a fantastic job of it as long as he could, until he couldn’t anymore. So now I know not to trust someone who has changed. Look at what they always were, because that is what they will revert back to, what they always will be. But I know how I want to be treated, and that it is possible. And I also have one solid year of agony to reflect on, to remind myself of…
This made me furrow my brow and then exhale in aggravation. Barely differs from the first writing prompt of the year, “What are you MOST looking forward to?” So. I’ll answer again. Let me be ray of sunshine. Evidently this year is going to teach me the art of patience. January always creeps along. Vacation~surf, sand, seafood, solitudeSummertime~birds, bats, warm water, drinks on patiosGood books~poetry, thought provoking nonfiction, easy readingLove~it is promised…but like the pursuit of happiness I’ll have to catch it myselfBeing myself~because I’m better at it than anybodyAnd I always look forward to driving with the windows down, sunroof open, and music blasting. It’s one of my great joys in life. i feel like all is right in the world. Live, laugh, love…..the rest falls into place…
Krispy Kreme chocolate glazed doughnuts for breakfast. And disappointment. Sigh…
I don’t do resolutions. It’s just setting yourself up for failure. I would never say “I’m going on a diet–no sugar!” or “I’m going to work out five times a week!” Just no. I MIGHT say, “I only want two doughnuts” or “I think I’ll go to spin class today, I had a large waffle fries from Chickalay.” Or “I think I’ll just have a salad for supper, I had the 9 oz filet at lunch. I should probably do some yoga tonight.” So, as much as I would like to lose weight, I’m not really ready to sacrifice my lifestyle and eating habits for it. Sure, my liver would like a month of just water, and my heart would definitely benefit from a white meat diet….but we only get one go at this. And if I’ve learned anything, it’s that when your number is up, it’s UP. #1 Be Happy. I do a pretty good job of this, I think. I don’t like being depressed, and so often I will list in my head all the privileges I have. Some days my best moments are just watching TV with my dog. That may sound pathetic, but I remind myself I’m not out blowing money or shooting heroin, so there’s…
Well, that’s a loaded question. I suppose, to put it simply, just the rest of my life. 2019 was hard. It wasn’t awful, it was a sight better than 2018. I got to do quite a bit of traveling and spent some time in my favorite places. I always look forward to seeing new places; I have a vacation scheduled for Outer Banks. I’m also hoping to visit Graceland and see the ducks at the Peabody and stroll down Beale. We’ll see. I hope to eat some fine food and meet interesting, engaging people. I want to spend time in the company of those who make me laugh so hard my sides ache the next day. I want to reflect on how far I’ve come. I want work to be fulfilling, and I want to see conservation practices making a difference. I want the hellbenders to flourish. I desire love. I want to be happy. I need to feel content. I want the same thing everybody wants. I want to be appreciated and cherished. This one was short and sweet, like me…
Get comfy. I’m a travelin’ son of a gun. This could also be a compilation of all my sunburns. I think I get a sunburn everywhere I go. I have never understood people who take the same vacation year after year. There are 3,797,000 square miles in America. Better hurry. Of course when I started this, I was just remembering all the big, noteworthy trips. The more I wrote, the more I remembered. #1) Charleston, West Virginia. Saw the capital. Not sure why we were there. I remember the tolls. I went with my Grandmother, mom, and I think maybe Aunt Bren. #2) Nashville TN. Many times. Various reasons. Rode out there and back with Meg one evening to get a pair of blue jeans. Everybody said we were crazy. They weren’t wrong. Many, many trips for the Co-op for buying shows and conferences. Skeeter took me just to occupy my mind one May Day in 2001 🙂 40th birthday party for Lisa at the Opryland Hotel was a crap ton of fun. Last trip was the best one, though- brewery bounce with my bestie 🙂 #3) Akron, Ohio. Believe it or not, I have relatives in Yankeeland. Saw the Goodyear plant, where my great-grandfather once worked and his brother still did at the time (late 80’s). Jumped into the most perfectly made-up beautiful four poster bed of all time, embarrassing my mom & grandmother to no end. I’…
