Thankful I have never went hungry a day in my life. (yes, I know, it shows) I have been ravenous, but only until I could get something fixed, or drive to acquire nourishment.

I did something today I have never once done before.

I rarely give to charity. I know that sounds awful, but hang on. You know how it is, especially this time of year. Every store will dollar you to death. Salvation Army camped out at the front door, making you feel guilty when you walk past, arms full of shopping bags stuffed to the gills. I can’t keep up with which organizations give the most back, then to add to that, which ones support other causes that may not be the most legitimate. Also, I see MYSELF as poor. I know, please don’t lecture me on how America has the richest people overall, & how if I’ve got a roof over my head & people that love me, I’m blessed beyond measure. I know this. I’ve never had to draw unemployment. I’m extremely fortunate. However, I live in a dated house, drive an older truck, & don’t live extravagantly by any standards. So I typically don’t donate. Then you see these people at gas stations, begging for money to go see their Grandmother who lives in Nashville because she’s had a heart attack & their car’s broke down, could you spare a dollar for gas? And you know full well they ain’t goin’ to see their Grandmother. I’m terrible. I judge. I know we’re not supposed to, we’re supposed to love everyone equal, but I fail. A lot.

Alright. So I’ve had subway on the brain since last night. Home of the $5 footlong. I had prepared by bringing my own mountain dew & chips because that’s where they gouge you. I head out promptly at eleven, drink in hand. I’m passing Sevier County Bank & there at the corner is a guy, pacing & holding a white sign written with black marker “Hungry & Stranded.”

We didn’t lock eyes or anything, & normally these people are out of my mind as soon as they’re out of my sight. But not today.

God: “You should take him to Subway.”

Me: “Too late, already passed him.”

God: “Go back.”

Me: “No. He is not riding in my truck. He might cut my throat. And its too cold for him to get in the back.”

God: “Well, you could take him back a sandwich.”

Me: “I guess. But I’m limited on time.”

God: “Doesn’t seem to affect you when you eat with someone.”

Me: “True…well, we’ll see.”

I pull up to Subway, still trying to talk myself out of it. I get out, & there lays a crumpled dollar bill. I pick it up & stick it in my pocket.

God: “Helped you out a little.”

Me: “Mm-hmm. But they’re FIVE dollars.”

No answer.

I walk in. There is a long line, especially for this time of day. But I had my heart set on Subway.

Me: “He’s not gonna want a sandwich. He’s gonna want something hot.”

God: “Meatball subs are hot.”

Me: “Dang. You got me there.”

God: “Get the meatball.”

Me: “The bank has probably ran him off by now.”

God: “Well, then you can eat it tomorrow.” (ok, that may have been me)

A lady walks in behind me. I’d been there several minutes by now, so I ask her if she had came through town. She hadn’t, & I explained why I asked. She said I would be doing the right thing. Okay, O-KAY. I order my sandwich, then the meatball.

Subway employee: “What do you want on it?”

Me: “I have no idea.” I blink, listening for God. He’s went silent. “What do most people get?”

She offered peppers, onions, etc. I got onions, men like onions. I pay~including the crumpled dollar~ (no drinks, I’ll give him my can of mountain dew, I have another in reserve back at the store). I jump in Patsy, hurrying now that I’m committed, hoping he’s still there, then thinking, is that wrong to hope he’s still there? That he’s still stranded? And hungry? I see him. He’s ditched the sign, it looks like he’s leaving. But no, he turns. He’s pacing in front of a clean, newer model white car. Not anything nice, but an economy type. I miss the light to turn, so I pull into the bank & park, take my sandwich out, & grab the bag. My heart is pounding. What could happen? We’re at a main intersection & its broad daylight. I have a knife. I approach him, but his back is to me. He turns & looks at me, crossing the grass. He looks cautiously hopeful.

“Did you have a sign a minute ago?”

He nods. “Yes.”

I hold out the bag. “I brought you a sandwich.” I start to cry & cover my mouth. “I wish I could do more.” I looked into his eyes then. I still don’t know if he was a drug addict or legitimately down on his luck, but he said “Bless you,” at least twice before I turned on my heel & beat it back. I fed someone today, whether it be a rat, his girlfriend hiding in the bushes, or him, but God laid it on my heart to help him, so I did. I would like to say I’m not still warring about it but I am. I didn’t do that lightly. And I didn’t tell y’all about it to get praise, or I would have spun it way different, making me into a modern day Mother Teresa, but that’s how my singular experience went helping someone out. And, I forgot to give him my mountain dew, so I spent the rest of the day wondering if he had to edit his sign to say: “Thisty & Stranded”. I know, I’m not funny. Sorry it was so long.