I have been at work for just over an hour and all this has already transpired: A regular comes in and I ask if he’s ready for Christmas.   “NEVER!”  He goes on, “My wife asks me for the most impossible things!  This year she asked for two feeder calves!”  At this, he rolls his eyes.  “All the feeder calves I’ve seen are going for like two THOUSAND dollars!  So I get to messin’ around on the internet and I finally found ONE for three hundred and fifty dollars.” “Well, that’s good!” I chirp. “Yeah, but it took me half the day to find it and it was on the other side of Clinch Mountain so it took the other half of the day to go get it and bring it back. And he only had the one. While I was there, I bought a turkey.  So I guess she’s getting a calf and a turkey for Christmas.”  I’m hee-hawing.  He continues, “Usually I ask her and she’ll come out with the most outrageous things.  Like, ‘happiness!’.  Give me a break.  It’s always a major undertaking.  And then I go to the trouble of getting it and she says, ‘Oh, I wish you hadn’t gotten…