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Browsing Tag: #resolution
Well I will say it was a very beautiful day indeed, and the only thing that put a pall over it was my own brain making up scenarios. The brain is a powerful weapon, and honestly, not always a friend. We would do well to tell it to hush a lot of the time. Lemme see if I can find that poem. Standby. my brain andheart divorced a decade ago over who wasto blame abouthow big of a messI have become eventually,they couldn’t bein the same roomwith each other now my head and heartshare custody of me I stay with my brainduring the week and my heartgets me on weekends they never speak to one another- instead, they give me the same note to passto each other every week and their notes theysend to one another alwayssays the same thing: “This is all your fault” on Sundaysmy heart complainsabout how myhead has let me downin the past and on Wednesdaymy head lists allof the times myheart has screwedthings up for mein the future they blame eachother for thestate of my life there’s been a lotof yelling – and crying so, lately I’ve been spending a lot oftime with my gut who serves as myunofficial therapist most nights, I sneak out of thewindow in my ribcage and slide down my spineand collapse on mygut’s plush leather chairthat’s always open for me ~ and I just sit sit sit situntil the…
My day began with dry rain. That’s a term I’ve made up, but I’ve been told it makes sense. It’s the kind of rain where it feels dry between drops, instead of an all encompassing wetness. I thought today was gonna be a total wash out, but it ended up being pretty spotty. I had a Foundation meeting at 7:30 this morning. I’ve always heard successful people are the ones out stirring before the rest of the world wakes up and I guess it can be believed if you go by this group. It’s basically Sevier County Royalty, if there is such a thing. Excluding me, obviously. I’m just a representative for the library board. My report went like this: “oh, we’re just rockin’ along. No news is good news and I have no updates.” But it was good to see everyone, and to reconnect with a sweet girl I haven’t seen in too long. She has one of the best laughs. It just bubbles out of her, nearly unprompted. I feel like she was a sprite in a previous life. But she’s definitely one of those if she gets tickled, I get tickled, and we’re both getting thrown out of the funeral home. Dangerous for us to be together for long. On to work for a few hours, to send an email saying I never got the email (this has happened twice in the last month— important…
I have had a busy day. Lots of traffic at the office. I like it when my customers come prepared with necessary paperwork. I like it even better when my coworker leaves early. So, Food City tried to rob me today. They wanted $12.99 (or was it $13.99???) for a 24 pack of Mountain Dew. I am not that desperate and I pass Dollar General on the way home, just like everybody else in the south. Granted, it isn’t a shopping experience without hazards, and I do feel the need to bathe in hand sanitizer and get a tetanus booster upon leaving, but you can save quite a bit of money there if you’re in the market for certain products. Well, today, it was Mountain Dew. You could get three twelve packs for $13.98, then download their digital coupon for two more dollars off. So that’s precisely what I did, quite happily. Take that, mega conglomerate. Do better. Here’s a lesson in southern cookin’. If the recipe calls for olive oil, use bacon grease. If it says butter, double it and salt it. If they start talking portion size, assume they’re stingy Commies and you should prolly make a double batch. There is no substitute for lard. You can almost always add some vanilla to any dessert to improve it. I’m just sayin’, is all. Don’t blame me if you’re still hankerin’ for a double cheeseburger after you make…
To catch you up: The dog next door is still wild and free. He’s been relatively quiet today until the sun set. Now it’s nonstop again. I did try to catch him, or at least put him back in his fence, a couple of times today and he wasn’t having it. He’s one of those that will bark while he runs away from you, looking over his shoulder. 🙄 I’m not scared of him, but I don’t want to frighten him worse. I have not contacted the owners because I don’t want to cause undue worry. And I have tried what little I know to do. At least he’s staying out of the road. Yesterday I switched my closet from fall/ winter to spring/ summer. I told myself I would get rid of lots of things. I never knew I was such a liar. I threw two things away, have one put aside for Angela, and six more items destined for thrift. I am unable to part with any more Lularoe, even though it makes me mad to look at it, since each pair of leggings represents, bare minimum, $25. I also cannot bear the thought of throwing out two pairs of grey stretchy pants, even though they both have multiple holes. One pair I am wearing right now. It’s not like I wear them out in public. Why throw them away when they’re clothes for home? I might decide to…
I absolutely, positively, cannot think of a thing to write. My world is filled with barking and howling dogs. And has been since 3:00 this afternoon. The neighbors have evidently, accidentally, left their doodle outside. I say accidentally because this has never happened before. Maybe he let himself out and now he can’t get back, like some sort of wormhole. I don’t know, all I know is he’s been barking since three o’clock. It is now 9:30. That is a LOT of barking. He is tireless. And when he really gets to feeling sorry for himself, he gets to howling. At which time, Chester gets empathetic and pitches in. Several dogs in the neighborhood beyond also accompany them. It’s truly a cacophony and I’m about to pull my eyebrows out, one by one. Yes, I could text my neighbor and make sure everything is ok. But I don’t want to worry them if they can’t get home, or can’t send somebody to check. And I don’t know how to put it nicely, “please come home and shut your dog up, he’s driving us all crazy”. I’m not known for my warm bedside manner. Because I feel certain Chester barks when I’m gone. Surely not nonstop like this, but really, who’s to say? And I don’t have a key, so no, I can’t go put him up myself. Lalalalala…..my aunt just text…
Writing Prompt #432 Write a poem that describes an epic journey a person once took long ago Go back back backFurther stillTo molten chocolate eyesAnd boredomGo back to a shoestring promiseAnd the shock factorSomething differentMad anywayAnd fed upFeels like hitting a block wall At every turnAnd so leaving to get some spaceNo wallsInstead a very short leashAnd blindersBut clarity at the same timeBecause nothing is ever One way or the otherSo much grayThere’s good in the badThere’s bad in the goodThere’s indecisivenessEven when you’re sureThe twin towersBatman buildingThe bridgeGone gone goneSometimes silver wingsSometimes a car I couldn’t rememberWest coast to GulfLighthouses and cactiIndians and rodeo queensChris Ledoux and Joe BeaverSunburns and snow-both in June-Pecan pie and spaghetti Pronghorn and grizzliesPrairie dogs and whalesPetrified forest to Mt. RushmoreI saw it all that summerAnd there are no regretsIt opened my eyes Adventure will do that And love blindsTill it doesn’t This is the one I never got around to writing when I was out of town earlier this month. I knew what I wanted to write about, my own epic journey, of course, but I couldn’t get it into words. It either came out too frivolous or too serious. I wanted to strike the balance. And it would have been nice if I had gotten it to rhyme. But no chance of that. It was an adventure of a lifetime and it taught me some valuable lessons. I still talk to my traveling…
“He was one of them guys.” He looked at me to see if I understood. I did, and I willed him with my eyes to continue. “…one of them guys…you know, one of them guys you can’t get away from and you don’t want to.” There was more, but he didn’t say, because he knew I knew. But probably also because I said, “keep talkin’, you’re soundin’ like a blog post.” We all know “them guys”. They worked a job that required skill of their hands and strength of their back. They wear plaid shirts with snaps and the left pocket carries a small spiral notebook, a Bic pen, and a pack of Marlboro reds. Their dark denim jeans show a little wear in a spot or two, maybe a frayed hole from battery acid, maybe some stubborn grease streaks. The pockets bulge with keys, five dollars in change, a lighter, and a yeller three blade Case pocketknife. These men have arms that are tanned and sinewy, scratched and scarred from countless battles with brush, machinery, barbed wire, and their oldest son, who went through a biting phase. They wear a gimme cap from the feed and seed or tractor dealership without fail, not to cover up the grey but because they always had. They were naked without it. And their boots. No fancy doins there, either. Scuffed, muddy, worn, heavy, and brown. A low heel. No pointed toe. Boots that have…
I read once, what would you have if you woke up one day and only had what you were thankful for the day before? Gulp. Some days I really have to force my mind into being thankful and attuned to what all is really awesome. I have to remind myself of the things and people I take for granted that so many would die for. I don’t appreciate much of anything as I should. Not everybody can look out their window at any time and see grass and birds and maybe a squirrel or two. Not everyone is surrounded by supportive people. Some people aren’t fortunate enough to read the books they want to read and have a dog that lays so close he cuts off circulation to your feet, or have friends that communicate solely via TikTok. Some people have never tasted Texas Roadhouse rolls or Cracker Barrel’s pancakes. Some people never leave their home state. Some people don’t want to, and that’s ok, too. Because some people have to travel incessantly to have the lifestyle they want, when really what they want is to stay put. But they wouldn’t know how to admit it. It’s like being hurt, but saying you’re mad, because you don’t want to admit your heart got bruised. Better to have that fortress. Best to be honest, but there’s nothing wrong with being optimistic. But with optimism, your brain is constantly cautioning your heart…
It is the first day of spring. I hope you found a way to enjoy it outside in the breezy brightness, with the budding trees and the thickening grass. I was running around the picturesque East Tennessee countryside for most of the day, admiring fields of fescue coming in strong from recent rains and 70 degree temperatures, and daffodils in ditches, and cows making the most of it, picking with gusto. But no early spring day is complete without noting the invasion of my enemy tree, the Bradford Pear. But we’re going to overlook that in favor of the productive day spent in the company of a dear friend, a longtime friend, a good friend who needed a good day. And he got it. Do you all sometimes pause and realize that you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be in that moment? That maybe, just maybe, we aren’t just floating along, happenstance, and a billion moments have connected and aligned to put us right where we are? Last night when I was up half a dozen times, I tried very hard not to come all the way awake. But I remember praying almost every time that today wouldn’t have any hiccups, that things would move smoothly along, that our plan be His will, as well. And best I can tell, it was. It wasn’t without hiccups, but it was close enough, and it’s kinda like people will tell you on your wedding day…
The Pollening has begun. And it’s all the Bradford Pears fault. I feel itchy and gross. I was told today that people relate to my writing and like it because it’s real. I’m not trying to make it seem like my life is unicorns and sparkles all the time. I’m not gonna just write about the highlights and lead you to believe I’m having this perfect experience in life. No, that’s not my style. I’m tripping, I’m slipping, I’m falling, I’m spilling, I’m making a mess and causing a hazard everywhere I go. And right now I feel like I might have a touch of food poisoning to go along with my allergies. I sure hope not, lots of things to do tomorrow and I need to be in tip-top supportive mode and able to make sound decisions. So speaking of fake, and I may have written about this before, but these books that everybody claims to have read…I’m reading 1984 right now and it’s slow going for me because it’s a mass market paperback edition so the print is small and it’s not very comfortable to hold. I never thought I’d be on the e-reader bandwagon but these things are great for indoor reading when you have low light. I also like the built in dictionary. Very handy. But I haven’t found a way to avoid the glare when…
