TuesdayOn ThursdayBecause TuesdayI was a jumbleAnd the last thing I wantedWas to sit in front of a keyboard and bleedBecause that is what I doIf we’re being honest about itBut TuesdayI had a horse to seeAnd I wanted softer edgesSo I blurred the lineWith Colorado Kool AidI’m no cowardBut sometimes I need a breakFrom facing life straight onI still didn’t sleepNot in the bedOr on the couchOr in the floorOr on the porchEven though I tried them allDid you knowThere are birds that sing all night?I do nowI’ve heard themBecause I saw 1:15And 3:30And seventeen other times I was awakeI was awakeBut I didn’t lookTo see if they had a bad eyeOr a wounded heartSo I didn’t mean to give you hopeThat I had given upOr that I would stop BleedingI’m sorry if you thinkI could quit that easyThank you to the friends who Know me well enoughTo know if I don’t have something to say I have lots to sayWho aren’t scaredOf my caustic tongueWho scoop and cup my spirit in their handsAs you would a hummingbirdGently, gingerly, delicatelyAnd ask, “How’s your heart today?”So I send them a poem And they say “I hate you had it in you to write it”I do too, I do tooBut I didAnd I’m still hereLove from Appalachia,~Amy…

I am so tired—And I am so thirsty—I don’t think of you,I don’t think of youI get upI get readyI don’t think of you,I don’t think of youI drive to workI check my phoneI don’t think of you,I don’t think of youI eat, I read, I fileI talk, I giggle, I smileI don’t think of you, I don’t think of youI come homeI pet my dogI don’t think of you,I don’t think of youI sit on my porchI paint my toesI don’t think of you,I don’t think of youI sigh, I drink, I cryI don’t think of you,I don’t think of youAnd at the end of the nightWhen I have made it another day,I lay downAnd I dream of you, I dream of youLove from Appalachia,~Amy…

I cannot write of redbuds and ladybugsNot nowBut I should strive to do betterFor it is spring And you need to read something much lighterThan my trialsI once had a high school English teacherWho told us“You must write of what you know”And although I know of horsesI know of heartbreak better nowI know of trout fishingI know of SEC FootballWell, I used toI find it hard to care anymoreI know of standing in the surfAnd feeling a crab run across my toesAnd a jellyfish sweep past my calvesAnd tiny fish peck inquisitively I know of mosquitoes And still nights When I lay on a quilt in my yardWatching the stars wink and sparkleAnd the moon on its journeyAnd I want to be up thereOn my own feathered wingsOr on silver onesI know of many restaurants I know River Street and all its barsI used to know all the names of Lisa’s goatsBut my head can’t contain what I still knowIt is focused on the otherAnd I have to get back Turn again, stalwartBecause that’s how I repair myselfNobody is unhappy forever No one is always happyIt’s ups and downsAnd rounds and roundsAnd I what I want is immaterial FasterFaster stillIf you could justSitYou get one tripMake it countLove from Appalachia, ~Amy…

When my dog was dyingAnd I was conflicted About easing his wayI was told not to rushThat he would let me knowThere would be signsI would know whenAnd some time laterAfter multiple frantic tripsTo the vetFor treatment After agonizing breathsAfter deterioration of spiritAfter one sleepless nightI decided I wouldn’t wait on The SignI wouldn’t wait for The LookI had a BrainAnd I could determine Together with my eyesThat he was suffering And he wasn’t getting betterWhen there are more bad days than goodIt is timeEven though he ate a biscuit Just that morning Even though he trotted to the car In anticipation of a road tripEven thoughHe didn’t want to get out at the vetThere was dignity in his passingBecause It was timeAnd it hurt till it didn’tBut I knew it was the right thingTo do by himFor himAnd nowWhen I look back at pictures And I see his pleading eyesI just hopeI didn’t wait too longAs I wasted timeLooking for a signWhen the truth was right in front of meThe whole time…

Are you awake?I want to tell you something I couldn’t write about itBack when It was too painfulAnd writing is relivingBut I remember A wise friend saidYou don’t love who he isYou love who you thought he wasWho he used to beAnd she was rightI needed that clarityI needed that insightThere were lots of things I neededBut nothing from himI bought gutter guards After scaling the roof onceJust to say I’d done itI hated how long it took For me to realizeMy strengthMy characterWhich never failed meI knew myselfI knew my happinessWasn’t solely dependent on himI knew my happinessCame from meAnd what I enjoyedAnd nothing was ever the same afterThat momentIt got betterI healedAnd I came back to lifeSparklier than beforeI like to thinkBut with wisdom to sprinkleWith graceEverywhere Love from Appalachia, ~Amy Edited to add from my favorite, Sturgill Simpson. If you need a friendDon’t look to a strangerYou know in the end, I’ll always be thereBut when you’re in doubtAnd when you’re in dangerTake a look all around, and I’ll be there I’m sorry, but I’m just thinking of the right words to sayI know they don’t sound the way I planned them to beBut if you wait around a while, I’ll make you fall for meI promise, I promise you I will When your day is throughAnd so is your temperYou know what to…

“Enough,” declared my brain“Agreed,” said my heart“It’s Bo-time,” said my stomachAt the cruxYou will sinkOr you will swimI have returned to myselfVim and vigorFor now I crawled into your brainI warned you it would happenBut now I work to unravel the knots“What a mess you have madeFor someone so clearheaded”I tut as I separate and straightenIf everyone were honest with themselvesThey could be honest with each otherBut it is a rare thing indeedMaybe what you want Is what everyone else wants tooBut you’re too afraid to askOr maybe notMaybe gloom despair and agonyMisery on allHappiness is a state of mindPigs in slop awaiting slaughterThink they’re happy tooMaybe they areBecause it’s the only life they knowThat is no life Oh Sarah, here we go againI can’t get past the pain of what I want to say to youI’m too old now to learn how to let you inSo I’ll run away just like I always doShe said if there’s something I should know then tell me nowBefore I go and give my heart awaySo I can get on with my lifeYou can go on with your strifeWish you’d speak the words those eyes are trying to say Sometimes this life feels like a big old dreamI’m floating around on a cloud insideWhen my cloud starts coming apart at the seamsOh Sarah, that’s when I slide There’s…

I am so thirstyAnd I am mad at the rainI am also mad at myself for a variety of reasonsI can tell youNever ask me to dress youBecause today I wore navy pantsWith a black topAnd black shoesAnd the heck of it isI had the navy pants on yesterdayWith a navy and coral topBut the pants looked blackSo I changed But todayWhen we had a break in the rainI walked outside And saw that my black pantsWere navyAnd this would have never happened If it hadn’t been rainingAnd that is one reason I am mad at the rainAnd mad at myself I am weakPowerless Evidently my body has decided I can survive on three hours of sleepOr maybe five But not eightMy gut has also declined Any rhythm My teeth would like their sayBut they are clenched togetherAnd my heart can’t do anything but poundSo with all that goingMy lungs think they should puff rapidlyTo match the chaosSo I have come homeOn this miserable dayAnd lit a candleAnd rubbed velvet earsAnd wrote a poemTo try to curb my rageWithout a liquid aidAnd I’m doing quite a bit betterEven if I can’t reconcile Who I am nowThe wind howlsAnd so do I At least the coyotes are curled up And silentIf you came here Expecting me to cheer you upAs alwaysPerhaps you should ask your jesterWhat you can do for them sometime It’s not always butterfliesI cannot force a grinI know my eyes are sadAnd my…

When your heart is brokenThere is no safe placeMusic brings the memoriesBooks always have a way of speaking What’s dwelling in your mindWell meaning friendsEncourage conversation and Try to offer explanations But often pull from their own experiences That may not be very beneficialAnd you can’t focus anywayYou can’t see a way through it So nothing helpsIt is best to sit in silence And try to wrap your head around the here and nowAnd not what ifs and maybesBest to stay strongHold it together for one more dayOr hourOr minuteOr whatever you can musterThree rabbits chasing each otherRound and roundFor hours nowWhy aren’t they tiredThe squirrels appear and shake their tails in admonishmentLike they weren’t acting like that just yesterdayThey don’t mind the rainSo why should I?Never Not onceIn my wadded up existenceHave I allowed myselfThe luxury Of a breakdownAnd five drinks laterI still hold my head upBartenders wise beyond their yearsSpeak of graceAlthough I am shamedMust sleep now Although there is much left unsaidStill hereCan’t quitIt’s not my natureWilling to face another day One more dayOne more nightProbably in a long lineBut I’m still herePushin’ Time -Miranda LambertAre we fools for rushing in?’Cause I already dread the endLonely ain’t no place to startI guess that’s just where we areOh, how I remember wellThe sunset on September 12thI disappeared to get a drinkYou still kept your eyes on meSometimes love acts out of spiteAnd good things happen…

100 days of writing every dayHas certainly proved a challengeThrough fatigue and boredomThe day getting away from meOr can’t get a moment’s peaceTotal brain block Once, too filled with alcohol I have writtenI have written of birdsBut not swansI have written of ships and shores and shoesI have written of booksOf course I have written about my dogI have journaled And made up storiesAnd repeated tales about fishin’And I have written a spot of poetry this monthBecause it is AprilAnd April is for poetsAnd foolsI have written of love in almost every postWhether it is about the aforementioned Or East Tennessee Or food or farmers or frogsSo if that is what you scrounge forYou should find it in nearly every postI cannotWill notStop writingEven if it’s painfulEven if it’s revealingEven though it’s no goodI can’t quitEven if I wanted toOnce my mind is made upI never couldExcept guitar lessonsAnd maybe that’s whyBecause I was a disappointment And I never wanted to be that againSkin crawlingColdShort breaths Teeth chatteringAnxiety I supposeSince I’m not on drugsAnd I usually like rainy daysDesiring quiet in my headBut impossible with the snifferWho has stayed on the phone all but twenty minutes todayAnd I could not hear myself thinkHe coughed thirty nine timesIn nineteen minutesA reprieve tomorrow at lastIf only I could sleep I could collect my racing thoughtsAnd methodically place them in rowsAnd package them neatly with tissue paperLeaving out the most cherished onesTo enjoy regularly…