this is a page for
Browsing Tag: #lovehurts
His looks could be cruelThe snarl his lips makeThe cutting eyesAlways smirking And he thinks That I belong to himAs if I ever did!That he can summon me With no more than a promiseAnd I will gleefully scamperTo please him But noHe never realizedI only entertained himWhen I was boredAnd I don’t think I’ll be bored againFor I don’t believe That he could be botheredTo attend my funeral If I were to pass And even soHe will be secretly pleasedThat I wrote of him first He was a crushWe both wishedI had the loose moralsTo be so much moreAnd seal the wistful looksThat meant if only~But I couldn’t Even if he would’ve And he would’ve But then He’d just be like all the restYou were supposed to be my friendBut you could never leave well enough aloneAnd you never stopped callingAnd texting And messaging And stopping byUntil I wanted to pull my hair outAnd I let your lips say the lie That your mind had builtTo save you from yourself A pityThis oneI never thought I’d rebukeI thought it was loveFor decadesBut really you’re a cadA disappointment I held you to a higher standardWe still laughAnd remember But I don’t want to talk About the past anymore When we’re not together In the futureAnd I don’t want you anyway Because I see what you are nowAnd what you aren’t And youA tentacleYou let me goHow…
Well, I’m not as redneck as I thought. Because I didn’t murder my ex-husband. And let me tell you, he had it coming. I had a hundred different ways to do it. No matter how it happened, it would have taken him by surprise. He thought I loved him too much to kill him. My first thought was to kill him. I’ve told this story several times in the last year or so, and there’s always a moment of total stillness when I pause, just like after you take a shot of tequila. The moment of clarity, of slight pain when you’re just trying to breathe again, and thinking about the effects of your actions. It’s just a perfectly quiet moment. Notice, next time you’re doing shots. Then there’s the exhale. Here’s the story. It was only about 10:30, even though in the movies it’s always the middle of the night. I remember thinking that was ironic. And it was summer, one of those June nights, when no evil ever strikes. But it had. That’s the thing about life. It’s original and unexpected. It wasn’t storming, it wasn’t a full moon (but almost). I read the message and I didn’t cry. I didn’t throw up. I began to shake. And I pivoted on my heel and…
Ugggghhh….. this makes my head hurt. I know what I want to say but it’s hard to put into words….words that I don’t care for other people to read, I suppose. I don’t want to forget my marriage. And I don’t want to forget how it ended in divorce. My marriage was good, until it wasn’t. I think anybody in my circle–make that my REALM–could attest to that, not exempting my ex-husband. We were happy. He was presented with a temptation, and because of who he is (self described scorpion), he took it and plunged his stinger into my delicate frog hide. Here. Y’all don’t have any idea what I’m talking about. http://lifestylewithsophiab.com/2018/05/09/life-lesson-scorpion-frog/ But I still have those six years of near bliss, and knowing what it was like to be thoroughly and completely loved. Because he did. He did a fantastic job of it as long as he could, until he couldn’t anymore. So now I know not to trust someone who has changed. Look at what they always were, because that is what they will revert back to, what they always will be. But I know how I want to be treated, and that it is possible. And I also have one solid year of agony to reflect on, to remind myself of…
This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below: Password…
