It’s common practice on Facebook to list what you are thankful for during the month of November. Here’s a collection of my favorites from the years I participated.
Sugar has never tasted so good. One thing for certain, I would never make it in a survival situation. This morning I couldn’t wait to down my white chocolate mocha Starbucks drink. And then I fixed me a big cheesy omelet. I would like to say I enjoyed every bite but my eyes were bigger than my belly and I got a little carried away with peppers and bacon bits. So anyway, you’ve probably deduced that today’s fast isn’t sugar or dairy. Praise be to God! Today it’s merely liquor, at the request of my Uncle Dale. He stipulated that it must be done on a Saturday. Clearly, he doesn’t know me at all, because I rarely drink on Saturdays; I clean. Today was no exception. But I also had a hair appointment. I was about to have to start wearing a hat everywhere I went because my gray is REALLY BAD. So I’m at the salon, and I go to throw something away and notice what looks like bacon in the trash can!! See it? There at the bottom? And I’m like, who throws away bacon?!? And I turn to Christy and ask her why there’s bacon in her garbage can. I am thoroughly baffled. And she’s like, “I threw away my gloves from when I mixed your hair dye, that’s probably what you’re…
Real estate is expensive. A plot of undeveloped land, a parcel of floodplain, a mountainside you can’t even reach by road, all these will still set you back several thousand dollars. … A trailer, a camper or boat, a shack on a hill. A little more… …. A modest house in the suburbs, a small, old home on a few acres, an apartment in town, these cost even more. … A tiny home in town, to call all your own, or a McMansion in a subdivision with just a patch of grass… we’re getting up there, now. … A fancy apartment in a city, a big house on the lake. A nice getaway from the hustle and grind. A seaside cottage, a perfectly appointed five bedroom showplace of a home. Hope you’ve got a good job or a rich uncle. … All these can be destroyed, no matter if they’re made of brick or concrete or wood. Wind, fire, flooding, overall devastation. You can try to protect them, investing in fancy security systems and strong fences. Heavy gates that lock by password protection. You can try, and you might succeed, from being a victim of theft. Mother nature doesn’t recognize the precautions, but you may do some good against humans who intend to bring destruction. You protect the valuable things in your life with locks and keys and codes. … But the most expensive real estate you cannot…
I started worrying about this yesterday, while I was still on my sugar fast. I didn’t want to be caught woefully unprepared. No milk, no cheese, no butter, no cream. And so many of the things I was doing without yesterday, I would be without again today. Oh well. Part of it. I planned my day, thinking of my poor friend who has gone without dairy for many years. Sure, she can take a pill, but it’s still uncomfortable, and probably not great for her gut. So she does without, and makes do with soy substitutes. As I will be. Avocado toast for breakfast. All is well, as long as I don’t use butter to fry my egg. √ yes, that’s a square root symbol because WordPress makes everything super difficult. I’m meeting momma Robin at Graze{ http://www.grazeburgers.com/} for lunch today, and I’m kinda wigging out about what I can eat. Naturally, the cheddar on my cheeseburger is out. So I’ll be having a regular burger. And no onion rings, because the batter probably has milk. The burger I would order under normal circumstances, the Tennessee, comes with bacon jam has Gouda cheese and onion rings. I ordered the standard burger. I realized I forgot to tell him no cheese as they set my tray down in front of me. Robin suggested I scrape it off. My friend wouldn’t be able to…
Silly me. I committed to a serious undertaking yesterday, putting you folks in charge of my life for the next 39 days!!! So far I’ve agreed to not drink alcohol (On a SATURDAY!!), to follow the speed limit, to not worry, to not intake any sugar TODAY, and a whole bunch of other hard to follow ones. ***Dramatic pose: back of my hand across my forehead with my eyes closed and neck exposed*** 10:14 am. So, like I said, today is no sugar. This is a real challenge. I’ve been worried about it ever since I committed. But the sweet lady I’m fasting it for is so worth it. She’s an angel, I’m telling you. She’s been so helpful and sweet to me and I just pray that the Lord blesses her threefold. She has special prayers concerning her family, which I will not divulge, but I pray for God’s wisdom to be cast upon her sister. And I pray for guidance for her niece, who is facing an uphill battle. I pray that the parties involved can discern right from wrong and that they open their minds to understand and follow Your will. I pray for peace for my dear friend, and knowledge that she lays firmly in Your supportive hands, Lord. I pray for encouraging and exacting words to roll from her tongue and power to be steadfast in her decisions. Please clothe…
For several years now, I have observed Lent by giving up Facebook. No doubt it is my #1 vice. It is a major timewaster. Sure, I keep up with my friends through it, but for the most part it’s just people I vaguely know sharing memes. Not that they aren’t funny, not that they don’t make me smile. But surely I could find something to make me smile elsewhere that didn’t entail me mindlessly scrolling for ten minutes every hour. Surely a friend could make me laugh through a text, phone call, or visit. Surely I can live without Facebook for the next forty days. After a few years of taking this break, it was no longer something I was sacrificing to show my faith. It was something I looked forward to. I wasn’t growing in my relationship with Christ, it was a social media vacation. I didn’t use the time to flip through my Bible, I used the time to read for pleasure. Or shop online. Or a million other things. So this year, I’m doing things a little different. This year I’m making it a real challenge. I’m giving up several things, and I’m incorporating my gift into blessing forty people. You don’t have to be Catholic to follow Lent. You don’t even have to be a Christian. It might lead you to a…
I got a little emotional the other day. Sometimes you have those moments where you just know you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. An epiphany, if you will. About a month ago, my friend Rhonda, the director of the library (don’t tell her I idolize her job just a little bit), called me up in the wee hours of the day. Obviously, she was trying to catch me while my guard was down so I would agree to her little plan. I hadn’t had my coffee. Something about a Seed Swap, that wasn’t on the National Holiday, but it was close enough, and could I say a little something about soil? Why sure because CLEARLY I’m qualified after seven months at a job. But I agreed because namely, it just sounds like a day we’d have snow. January 19th. When I went to write on my old school blotter, I discovered it was a Saturday. That sly wench! Nonetheless, I assembled 27 folders full of valuable literature, soil sample boxes and forms, several posters, and my ever-present blue board. I loaded up Maggie for my presentation. Presentation. Snort. We’ll see about that. I didn’t want to get in over my head, so I just printed some Fun Facts About Dirt off the NRCS website. Fortunately, she had me paired up with my good friend Jim from the City, and he…
It will rain today. I can say this with authority because I made a deal with God six years ago today. I asked him if it had to rain, could it just rain everywhere but at our venue, and then it was free to rain every year on our anniversary, as long as it didn’t rain on us today? And it didn’t. And it has. So it will rain today, I can guarantee you. Indeed it rained all around us on our wedding day: it rained on my carriage driver and horse on the way in, they had to pull over and tarp the carriage. It rained at my house. It rained within a half of mile of us all afternoon. But not a drop fell from the sky at the Historic Ramsey Plantation. Sweat drops and tear drops were in abundance, I will say. Wednesday, I had the pleasure of leaving the office and visiting a farm of one of my old Co-op customers. He happens to be one that I bought a quarter of a cow from a few years ago. He has a gorgeous place; his house sets on top of the hill, overlooking his spread. We met with him and his wife on the front porch, and settled ourselves on the cushioned swings. There was enough breeze to keep me from sweating a drop, even with my hair down. It was the perfect day to be on a call. I knew…
I used to wonder who would come to my funeral. I’ve attended many, many funerals myself, and wondered who would return the respect when it came time. I was born an only child, and have remained that way for 39 years. I think it prepared me in many ways for the life I was destined to live. I never recall being lonely. I suppose I would call myself self-motivated, because if I wanted to do something, I did it myself. I vacationed alone before getting married, because I wanted to see places, and I wanted to see certain things in those places, so I didn’t want to be encumbered by someone who didn’t. Still, to this day, if I want to dine in a certain restaurant, or watch a particular movie, I’ll just go and do it alone if I know it’s something Shug or my assorted friends aren’t interested in, or have the time to go and do. My very good friend Megan and I founded an “Environmental Club” around fifth grade or so to raise awareness about the effects of Champion Papermill’s pollution into our local water sources. We sent a petition and collected water samples and the whole nine yards. Bookish would be a polite way of saying I was a nerd, but nerd fits the bill accurately. I stayed out of trouble through my younger years, never “smoked…
What is with all the hate of 2017? All these people kicking it to the curb! Shoot, it ain’t nothing to do with the year. It’s just…shit happens. I don’t think January 1st is going to bring some great light shining on you pointing the way to happiness and dreams fulfilled. New Years isn’t magical. You’ve got to stick it out, suck it up, and go out searching for the next big thing. We can’t have everything we want! I would have liked to have seen the Vols play for the SEC Championship. I would also have liked to seen a size 8 again, but I’m not willing to give up my sedentary lifestyle or vast amounts of cupcakes I consume. I would like certain people to live for a good long time and others can drop–well. You get my point. I’m not much for resolutions. I fail at every turn, why would I subject myself to more misery? One year I said I wanted to stop gossiping. We all know how that worked out. One year I wanted to keep a journal. Um. One year I wanted to lose weight. Bahahahahahhaahahaahaha!!!!! But you know, this year, I’m going to change a few things. I have to buy less, because I’m going to have to make a major purchase in…
Have you ever just taken a moment and thought about how fortunate you are? One of those times where the North Star is beaming down directly on you and everyone around smiles your way and for a little while everything seems right in your world? Well, tonight I had such an epiphany. I don’t write about my new work often, partly because there’s not much to write about; I rarely have much interaction with customers. But also I don’t write because I like my job and don’t want to jinx myself. And I guess calling it new after a year and a half is ridiculous, but it’s hard to not think of it that way. When I came onboard, I was unsure. I was scared as a rabbit looking at a pack of coyotes. I didn’t know anybody, I was in a part of town I didn’t frequent, and I was out of my comfort zone working in an office environment. But I didn’t quit, even though I wanted to. I came back every day because I’d made my mind up to, and because it felt like it would be a good gig if I could ever get used to it. I was terrified of the guys, they were all big and kinda scary looking with their tattoos, cigarettes, beards, and low, gravelly voices. They drove trucks that always needed…