Writing Prompt #6 Describe the perfect home. Make that home come alive; put yourself in your mind in that place. How large or small is it? Where is it located? I’ve often thought about this very thing, as I believe we all have. I remember playing MASH in grade school with the notebook paper folded to fit over our fingers. What was it called? Chinese something catcher. Anyway, mansion-apartment-shack-house. Of course mansion was the one to shoot for. Back in those days an apartment was out of the realm of our comprehension, and we didn’t know a mansion in Seymour until the Creutzinger monstrosity was built. I could see my dream house clearly, probably pulled straight from Gone With the Wind: a Greek Revival with the two story columns, dark red brick, circular driveway, a Juliette balcony off the master bedroom, swimming pool (mine would have to be indoor, or at least covered with tinted glass to keep me from frying like an egg), stables for my many breeds of horses (at least seven: one for each day of the week), a greenhouse, and the river out back. There would be magnolia trees lining the alleé, a black wrought iron gate with scrolls that would swing back from the monogrammed center to admit you after you cleared entrance via the intercom system. The fences would be curvy brick, except where they were black wood plank. Back then I admittedly never gave much thought to the…
So tell me: are you a car sitter? Why? I get it if you are early for an appointment. It’s more relaxing to sit alone in the comfort of your car than a germ riddled waiting room full of coughers, smokers, and dopers. But I see these people that I feel like sit in their car for extended periods every time they get in their car. I mean, I like Maggie a lot, but I don’t wanna hang out in her. I want to go places—fast—but not just…sit there. Unless I’ve caught one of my favorite songs on the radio, which is unlikely, since I rarely listen to the radio. Are they evading responsibilities of family? Kind of hiding, saying, “I’m still at the store,” which technically isn’t a lie. Even though they could have left fifteen minutes prior. Do they not worry about being approached by unsavory characters? I don’t like to idle. I feel exposed in parking lots. Somebody could slash your tires, rendering you immobile, then slash your throat. Nope. And I don’t even watch true crime shows. Anyway. Just something I’ve observed that I don’t understand. The list is long of things I study on but never come any closer to figuring out. Chapman Highway is still riddled with potholes. For every one they fix three come to its funeral. There’s a deep one at the Wye. And today I passed a car…
I understand now, 53 days in, why writing daily is important. And why it is crucial to stay on schedule. It is a dedication to a craft and it builds discipline. I thought I had about as much discipline as one redhead can contain, but there was evidently room for growth. Because I will say that about 30% of the time, I could have found a reason to skip writing. But I made a promise to myself to do this, so here I am. I heard a time or two today “if you’da just kept your mouth shut…”. Other variations include: “You was broadcastin’ when you shoulda been receivin’” and “Mrs. Ivey, something to share with the rest of class?” “If you’d hush, I’d tell ye!” I’m sure there are others that evade me from over the years. Yesterday after work, I parked myself at the only joint in town that serves pizza I will willingly eat. Gatlinburg Brewery. The beer is ok, but the pizza is off the chain. Or hook, whatever the current lingo is for Very Good. You better git yer goin’ britches on and try it soon. Through the week, this month only, they offer buy one get one. So go! Here’s a handy link https://gatlinburgbrewingcompany.com/menu-1 the Leaf Looker and the Basic AF are my favorites. I got the Spinny Dippin’ last night and added red pepper flakes but I think the sauce needs to be garlic…
So I’ve got this book, “1000 Writing Prompts”. It’s been super beneficial when I’m stuck in a rut. I asked my friend to pick a number. Immediately, “Seven.” My favorite. #7. How were you named? If you feel that your name is boring and the story behind it equally so, make up a name and come up with an interesting story behind that. I honestly don’t know how I came by Amelia Marie or Amy, either one. I also can’t believe I’ve never written about it. But I haven’t. I reckon Amy is a common nickname for Amelia, even though Rhonda said if she had named me Amelia and people insisted on calling me Amy, she’d pinch their little heads off. I think I chose to go by Amy when I started school because I had a hard time making the “e”. I got to be lazy before I ever got started good. What I don’t understand is why we didn’t spell it Ami, because that would have been my initials, and also a bit perkier. I remember mom often telling me it was a good thing I was born a girl, because if I had been a boy, she would have had to named me Maynard, after my dad. I can think of nothing more mortifying. I made the mistake of repeating this to my then-friend Jena, who promptly told it all over the Co-op because, let…
I just opened a bottle of Meiomi, so I figured I better start on this 🤣 Today was uneventful, on the whole. Just the way I like it. I ran through the Chickalay drive thru for some minis on my way to work. I ordered ten, but ate six. I probably could have eaten all ten if I had set my mind to it. Work was quiet; most of my coworkers were at a conference in Knoxville. I didn’t feel that the topics would benefit me, in my current role, so I just went to work. And good thing, I had some visitors and a few phone calls to return. I just wish those girls up front were what they advertised to our landlord. Oh well. I don’t expect them to last. I’m not gonna waste time being mad about something I’m not going to deal with. I am gonna tell Charlie all about them when he asks, though. And he will ask. Boy, this wine is good. Today is National Love Your Pet Day. When will these nonsensical holidays cease? Well, then I guess we’d just have a bunch of regular days and some people find it hard to celebrate on normal days. Not this girl. But Facebook memories have alerted me that I do typically celebrate the wonder that is Chester. So I guess I need to do something a little special for him. But tomorrow, as I have already put on my fleece…
I feel like I have done nothing but eavesdrop on people today. And it’s highly entertaining. First was at the bar at Firebirds. You wouldn’t believe the things people tell bartenders. Or each other at the bar. And just when it was getting good this dude sits down next to me hacking his guts out and I’m immediately disgusted. So his wife was already sitting there and had eaten and evidently he’d had a job interview at the restaurant. Not for the restaurant. I understood it to be an acting job, but I’m not sure. He’d ordered steak and dessert. She said, “Were you not planning on introducing me?” And he’s like, “No, should I have?” Which I’m kinda like him, why would he? That’s kinda weird. And why did she bring him, anyway? Can he not drive? She says something about she should have gone over and given him a kiss. In the meantime, he’s still coughing very vehemently and I’m thoroughly and visibly repulsed and thinking of moving down a stool but that would put me next to another character that I wasn’t sure about. I was stuck between a cougher and a thug. And the bartender, her name was Amy, too, had enough on her plate without me playing musical chairs. She’d already forgot my water twice. And we’re not gonna talk about how long it took me to get my food or…
Well, here we are. Or, rather, here I am, since it’s just me. There is no we. Unless I count y’all, which I guess I should, since you’re reading. Another weekend gone, but I get a bonus day, so that only means I procrastinated from Saturday what I will now need to do tomorrow. Namely, an oil change. I’m gonna make it worthwhile, though, and treat myself to lunch somewhere good. So I come to you tonight, begging grace and forgiveness, because I’m afraid y’all are gonna revoke my Southerner card. Because, look here now, I made instant potatoes. And they were goooooo-ooooood. I’ve got no lies to tell. They’re already on my list for next time. Why did I ever spend time peeling, washing, boiling, draining, mashing, seasoning, and working in butter and milk for *real* mashed potatoes? For just me? These are real, too, it says so right on the bag. And they took maybe five minutes. I really don’t know what else to report on. I have got to finish my book tonight, it goes back tomorrow. White Noise, if you’re interested, by Don Dellio or something like that. I’m too lazy to look. I’m sure I’ve got the spelling close enough and you could find it. Lester recommended it and I liked it at first but now it’s just weird. I’m at 83% and truly nothing much has happened. It…
Good evening. Or good morning, I suppose, if you’re reading this tomorrow. Or maybe it’s good afternoon. Whatever you please. A simple hello would have sufficed, but I now have all that typed and I’m not erasing it. I really just wanted to jump in with what I’m wanting to ask y’all, but I’m constantly reminding my coworkers of Teams etiquette and so I felt I should practice what I preach. Whew. Now that all that is out of the way, even though I’m not following Southern protocols and asking after your health, and how your momma’s doin’, and how the kids are coming along and if little Suzy is going out for soccer this spring…isn’t that the trending sport these days? Soccer? I just wanted to ask y’all if someone would please tell me with Bath & Body Works puts their 3-wick candles on sale. Because I’m not sure if the online store follows the same sales as brick and mortars. And I sure as shit ain’t driving to Five Oaks once a week to check it out in person. Although I do need to go in Clarks. My black flip flops will not live to see another season. I made a balsamic roast in the crock pot today. It smelled so very delicious cooking. That is the trouble with cooking in crock pots while at home. I feel sorry for my dogs over the…
Do not let these warm sunny daysOf February Trick youIt is not summerIt is not yet springMy summer was filled withThree trips To two different rivers Where I did not fishSunflowers & morning gloriesBeer drank in the barn hallOver tearsAnd sleepless eveningsEndless conversations With friends I thoughtI already knewBut raw with emotionOne relaxing day on the lakePoetryAnd looking at the stars Because I couldn’t hold it inFire trucks at the fairAs we posed in our tiarasThere was coffee cornhole charcuterie and cavesThere were plenty of laughsAnd some really big surprises Summer was perfect as usualAnd unforgettable So February needs to get in lineAnd be winter Because I want more cozy daysBefore I’m a sweaty messOn a sweltering dayParked directly over the air conditioner Set on 65I want to eat more chili and soupAnd roasts and meatloafBefore I turn to salads and avocados And ice creamI want time spent curled in my blanketWith a book on my lapAnd a candle flickering And the wind howling beyond my windowsFebruary should be itselfEverything else is takenJust like you…
To blog or not to blog…there is no question. The question is what am I gonna write about? This was so far removed from my brain today, when someone asked me this evening what I was gonna blog about, I almost answered, “what blog?” At least, I don’t think I did. So I could tell you about how I’m a snob. No, really. People truly think that. And I guess I am. I don’t go out of my way to talk to strangers (I just hug them). I am not going to tell you how I adore your {clothes/ shoes/ hair/ eye makeup/ jewelry/ food/ house/ car} to make you like me. You know people do that, don’t you? They’ll just gush and flatter and go on to make you feel good about yourself but it’s all hogwash. I will tell you if I truly do like whatever it is. I’m also a snob about quality. I don’t want cheap toilet paper, Kleenex, or paper towels. I guess I’m a snob about paper products. Funnily enough, I don’t like eating off paper plates 🤔 I mean, I get it, for cooking out and you’ve got a passel of drunks in your backyard plus you don’t wanna do a bunch of dishes. Or if I make a sandwich or get pizza, a paper plate is fine. But if I’m eating a meal- meat and three sides- I want…