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Category: Another Day in Appalachia
Stories that didn’t fit anywhere else.
October 5th 2013 I tried to explain to a guy from New York the “orange thing” today. I had to work, & although I do possess a couple of official Co-op shirts in orange, I was wearing a jersey. “What’s with the orange? Y’all got a game today?” Although Georgia isn’t viewed with the same hatred that fuels us against Florida or Bama, they are still SEC & it’s still a “big game”. I thought for a second & finally said, “I can’t imagine NOT wearing orange on game day. I can’t imagine not caring about the turnout of a Vols game. I’m working till four, or I would be down there, screaming my head off with a hundred thousand other die-hards, because that’s what we do. That’s what my momma’s doin’, & that’s what my grandmother used to do, & that’s just what you do if you if you’re born here in big orange country.” He looked at me a while, cocked his head like a cocker spaniel, & said, “You people are a rare breed. You’re loyal to the end. Syracuse fans will leave in the first quarter if they’re down by ten.” I just smiled, & didn’t say the rest, but I…
I’ve decided I like golf. I think it’s one of those things you have to acquire a liking to, similar to lobster. This must mean I’ve matured at last. It’s pretty calming, & unobtrusive. I can read while it’s on, & not be bothered by war-like sounds emitted every few seconds, or the thunderous gorilla chanting & squeaks that accompany basketball. Perhaps best of all, the scenery is much more picturesque than that of any other sport I can think of. The fans are low-key & controlled, politely clapping or voicing a barely audible groan every now and then. The commentators stay calm, as well. The golfers themselves cut an elegant figure, dressed in a classic manner (for the most part-there is this one guy that’s kinda out there in some loud clothes but that’s fun too). There’s this guy named Bubba I’m pulling for, mainly due to his name but I also dig his hot pink driver. I wiki’d him & he seems like a top-notch kind of human. I say give golf a chance. It’s the last four holes of the masters, y’all, how much better does it get…
I am an intact human. My body is reluctant to part with any of its apparatus. I still have my wisdom teeth, tonsils, gall bladder, & appendix. But not for long! February 20th I will be bidding farewell to my wisdom teeth. (I hope I don’t lose my smarts in the process) Naturally, I’m terrified…
Most of you remember him as “The Mule Man” at Silver Dollar City and later, Dollywood. Somewhere, my mom has a picture of he & I together in front of the mill, me grinning like a mule eating sawbriars. Later, when I came to work at the Co-op, I was astonished when he came walking up to buy sweet feed. I hadn’t thought about him in twenty years, & thought he was long gone to heaven. He was OLD when I was little! But here he was, just acting like a normal person, shopping at th…e local feed & seed. I remember after he left, I was beside myself! I had just been in the presence of a real celebrity!!! Gary & Judy were laughing because he was just a regular mountain man to them, & unbeknownst to me, had lived right over the hill from me “in the valley” years ago (& missed it desperately, as he would tell anybody that asked). Red, indeed, was a regular customer, I came to know soon after. I was always dazzled to wait on him & would engage him in conversation every time I had the opportunity. He worked at The Mine in Governor’s Crossing for awhile & would regale me with stories of the tourists who remembered him from their vacations in years previous, taken with their parents. And now here they were with THEIR kids, & had to have…
Yesterday is evidently known as “Blue Monday” due to the majority of the workforce getting back to the grind after time off from the glittery, glamorous, holidays. Also the realization of how much was spent on said holidays. However, in true procrastinator fashion, today was my Blue Monday. I finally got the last-and largest- of our Christmas trees torn down and stored. It is so depressing. The house is so drab. Johnny, to the contrary, likes it. He’s not a fan of clutter, which technically, I will concur, Christmas creates. That’s the only time of year my library is in a state of disarray. And that makes me a little crazy. Anyway, in addition to my depression over the loss of decorations, I am still puny. I have not put one little toe out into the Polar Vortex today. My book is draaaaaging. And I did not cook. That should tell you something. Pass the kleenex. *putting my blanket over my head…
I have turned into an old woman this holiday season. We have acquired (meaning, I bought) a birdfeeder because we’ve been seeing some cute finches & bluebirds hanging around. I’ve spent most of the day peering out, hoping to catch a glimpse of a bird having a snack. Alas, none have stopped by. Maybe they aren’t sure about the pineapple. Also, I have been appalled at the waste that Christmas brings. People (including myself) just bought to be buying. You feel like you have to spend x amount on a person to show your love. What a bunch of crap. That’s why America is in the misery it is now! Stepping off my soapbox. Sorry, I got carried away. For lunch I enjoyed some leftovers accompanied by one of those marvelous chicken pot pies created by the magical people at Banquet frozen foods. They are delicious and filling & only fifty cents!! And finally, my activity today has been rearranging the library to make room for my beautiful cast iron mermaid. I’ll post a picture of her later. So see? I’ve grown old before my time! I should be out in the masses, spending my gift cards! …hahaha, sometimes I crack myself up…
I am impressed by you people who decorate real trees. They are a horse of a different color. You put an ornament on a real tree branch, it sags. You put one on an el-fako & nothing much happens. And its like the real trees eat the bead garland. I don’t even know what happens to it (or the ribbon- now you see me, now you don’t!) Anyway, Johnny wants a real one next year. We’ll see. He wanted a real one this year too, but neglected to tell me till after all the fake ones had been lugged upstairs, fluffed, & lit. Dang. Anyway, hope everyone is snug as bugs in rugs on this chilly night. Me, I’m wrapped in a lambswool blankie & watching Home Alone for the second time in two days 🙂 I have presents to wrap & dishes to wash but ah, it can wait till after Kevin plants the tarantula on Merv’s face…
You wanna know what its like at the last home game of the season? Its a roar. Its the stadium shaking so hard from the pounding from almost two hundred thousand feet that it makes your liver quiver. Its Vandy, whom as a rule aren’t even worth the energy it takes to scream yourself hoarse & then take a coughing fit because the air is so cold you can watch it float away from your mouth. Its being so chilled from the slight breeze out of the north that you can’t feel your fingers or nose but you’re vaguely aware that its dripping. Its fans not leaving in the fourth quarter because we’re only ahead by three. Its Rocky Top. Again & again. Its UT football. And I love it…
Thankful I have never went hungry a day in my life. (yes, I know, it shows) I have been ravenous, but only until I could get something fixed, or drive to acquire nourishment. I did something today I have never once done before. I rarely give to charity. I know that sounds awful, but hang on. You know how it is, especially this time of year. Every store will dollar you to death. Salvation Army camped out at the front door, making you feel guilty when you walk past, arms full of shopping bags stuffed to the gills. I can’t keep up with which organizations give the most back, then to add to that, which ones support other causes that may not be the most legitimate. Also, I see MYSELF as poor. I know, please don’t lecture me on how America has the richest people overall, & how if I’ve got a roof over my head & people that love me, I’m blessed beyond measure. I know this. I’ve never had to draw unemployment. I’m extremely fortunate. However, I live in a dated house, drive an older truck, & don’t live extravagantly by any standards. So I typically don’t donate. Then you see these people at gas stations, begging for money to go see their Grandmother who lives in Nashville because she’s had a heart attack & their car’s broke…
I am a nerd. I have always been a nerd. I will probably remain a nerd for the rest of my life. I like to read- a lot (if you haven’t caught on). I enjoy cooking, & even more than that, I love eating. I tell the lamest jokes & then laugh at them uncontrollably. I am not a trendsetter for the latest fashions, I prefer the classic tried & true pieces. I have worn glasses since I was in fifth grade even though I heard the mantra “boys don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses” way too frequently. Even those who loved me would go so far to say, “Why don’t you try contacts? You would be so pretty!” Really. I was only popular by association (to Meg) in my school years –as several of you could attest to. I didn’t really fit in with people my own age until I went to Walters State due to my addiction to horseback riding. I never really cared about going to concerts, or out clubbing, or having a new car. I am not ashamed of any of these things. And I’m aware its no small miracle that I’m married to such a cool, good looking man. I didn’t marry the first guy to ask me out. Don’t settle, y’all. I would say “ladies” but the…
