Upon returning from lunch, I retrieved from my purse all the essentials for coloring my lips back in & laid them on my desk. I had a few customers walk up, so I was waiting on them & here comes Gary. Not everyone knows Gary, so allow me to paint you a mental picture:
Bull in a china shop.
Does that do it?
Alright, so here he is, hovering. “Did that guy come in & pay for that trailer?”
“I don’t know, I just got back from dinner.”
“Well, he said he might be in today, or he might wait till next week. He ain’t pickin’ it up till one day next week anyway, here’s his title. It’s an 8×10–”
“Let’s write the item number on here, what is it?” I asked, reaching for a pen.
“Three-zero…no wait, let’s see…three-seven-zero-zero…hey! Wait a minute! What IS this?!???!” Unbeknownst to me, he had picked up my Clinique lip liner, thinking it was an ink pen.
“Gary! That’s my lip liner! Dang!”
The customers were hee-hawing & I was too. What a Gomer. Have a nice day.
I am an intact human. My body is reluctant to part with any of its apparatus. I still have my wisdom teeth, tonsils, gall bladder, & appendix. But not for long! February 20th I will be bidding farewell to my wisdom teeth. (I hope I don’t lose my smarts in the process) Naturally, I’m terrified.
Two funerals in two days is too many. It makes you think about your own mortality, that’s for sure. Rex Pitner was killed on his tractor Tuesday evening, but by all accounts he went quickly & doing what he loved. I will miss Rex. He was a big man, which if you judged by looks alone you would think he was easily riled. That was not the case. He had an easy smile & loved to kid me. I dished it right back out. I never saw him angry, which is something, because he was in the stor…e at least twice a week (& despite our best efforts, we typically end up eventually ticking you off one way or another). He never ever ever had an ink pen & always wrote a check. I didn’t mind loaning him my pick-of-the-litter ink pen because he never failed to give it right back. If it hadn’t been disrespectful, I’d have liked to slip one in with him tonight. Hate for him to be unprepared 
😉 Happy Trails, Mr. Pitner.
Most of you remember him as “The Mule Man” at Silver Dollar City and later, Dollywood. Somewhere, my mom has a picture of he & I together in front of the mill, me grinning like a mule eating sawbriars. Later, when I came to work at the Co-op, I was astonished when he came walking up to buy sweet feed. I hadn’t thought about him in twenty years, & thought he was long gone to heaven. He was OLD when I was little! But here he was, just acting like a normal person, shopping at th…e local feed & seed. I remember after he left, I was beside myself! I had just been in the presence of a real celebrity!!! Gary & Judy were laughing because he was just a regular mountain man to them, & unbeknownst to me, had lived right over the hill from me “in the valley” years ago (& missed it desperately, as he would tell anybody that asked).
Red, indeed, was a regular customer, I came to know soon after. I was always dazzled to wait on him & would engage him in conversation every time I had the opportunity. He worked at The Mine in Governor’s Crossing for awhile & would regale me with stories of the tourists who remembered him from their vacations in years previous, taken with their parents. And now here they were with THEIR kids, & had to have a picture with Red 🙂 I adored him and his wife, a sweet soft-spoken woman that reminded me so much of my great-grandmother. She has light grey hair that she wears in little pincurls, & printed polyester blouses, & carries a change purse. Just like my mamaw did. They knew my great-grandparents, & during one of my last chats with them we got to talking about my family. It was a nice visit. Red said, “We-ellll, we better git on outta here & letch yew git back t’werk. It was nice seein’ ya, there.” & he was gone. You can see Red at the Paul Murray gallery, or you can ask just about anyone in Sevier County for their story about him. Or any kid who went to Dollywood in the ’80s. He will be missed by many, including me. It’s never easy to lose a customer, especially one you have 30 years of memories with.
Yesterday is evidently known as “Blue Monday” due to the majority of the workforce getting back to the grind after time off from the glittery, glamorous, holidays. Also the realization of how much was spent on said holidays. However, in true procrastinator fashion, today was my Blue Monday. I finally got the last-and largest- of our Christmas trees torn down and stored. It is so depressing. The house is so drab. Johnny, to the contrary, likes it. He’s not a fan of clutter, which technically, I will concur, Christmas creates. That’s the only time of year my library is in a state of disarray. And that makes me a little crazy. Anyway, in addition to my depression over the loss of decorations, I am still puny. I have not put one little toe out into the Polar Vortex today. My book is draaaaaging. And I did not cook. That should tell you something. Pass the kleenex. *putting my blanket over my head*
I have turned into an old woman this holiday season. We have acquired (meaning, I bought) a birdfeeder because we’ve been seeing some cute finches & bluebirds hanging around. I’ve spent most of the day peering out, hoping to catch a glimpse of a bird having a snack. Alas, none have stopped by. Maybe they aren’t sure about the pineapple.
Also, I have been appalled at the waste that Christmas brings. People (including myself) just bought to be buying. You feel like you have to spend x amount on a person to show your love. What a bunch of crap. That’s why America is in the misery it is now! Stepping off my soapbox. Sorry, I got carried away. For lunch I enjoyed some leftovers accompanied by one of those marvelous chicken pot pies created by the magical people at Banquet frozen foods. They are delicious and filling & only fifty cents!! And finally, my activity today has been rearranging the library to make room for my beautiful cast iron mermaid. I’ll post a picture of her later. So see? I’ve grown old before my time! I should be out in the masses, spending my gift cards!
…hahaha, sometimes I crack myself up 😉
I am impressed by you people who decorate real trees. They are a horse of a different color. You put an ornament on a real tree branch, it sags. You put one on an el-fako & nothing much happens. And its like the real trees eat the bead garland. I don’t even know what happens to it (or the ribbon- now you see me, now you don’t!) Anyway, Johnny wants a real one next year. We’ll see. He wanted a real one this year too, but neglected to tell me till after all the fake ones had been lugged upstairs, fluffed, & lit. Dang. Anyway, hope everyone is snug as bugs in rugs on this chilly night. Me, I’m wrapped in a lambswool blankie & watching Home Alone for the second time in two days 🙂 I have presents to wrap & dishes to wash but ah, it can wait till after Kevin plants the tarantula on Merv’s face.
I was given #4 in this preggers game.
1) I’ve never been pregnant.
2) I’d like to stay that way.
3) Yes, I know what causes it.
4) I am very very VERY defensive about my body & the decisions I make especially concerning my uterus. It is NOBODY’S business besides mine & Johnny’s about having a child. It is EXTREMELY rude to ask why we don’t have any kids. Its none of anyone’s business. It could be that we don’t feel the need to bring another kid into this corrupt world. It could be that I’m unable to reproduce. It could be that I don’t like kids. It could be that we don’t see ourselves as financially stable enough to provide a lifestyle for family the way we think you should be able to. But rest assured, no amount of your pleading, persuasive arguements, & stories of how wonderful raising children is will play any sort of factor into our decision. Its truly amazing the amount of people that I barely know that are brazen enough to ask me when I plan on having babies. I blink at them until they get the point. Just because I’m a southern woman doesn’t mean this is the only lifestyle suited to me. And I applaud every one of you raising children. That’s terrific, I know you’ns enjoy it. If I get that maternal pull, I may borrow one of them. They’re pretty cute in pictures 😉
P.s. IF I were to become pregnant, it will NOT be okay for people to put their hands on my belly uninvited.
There’s my four facts about pregnancy, so we’re clear.
The last day of thankfulness. I’d say several of you are thankful its over, although I tend to stay long winded throughout the year, not just November 🙂
I reckon I better be thankful for the Good Lord today. Most people who participate in this are thankful for Him on the very first day, & that’s good, but I wasn’t. I don’t remember why, or even what I was thankful for that day, but I am thankful for Him every day. He is the reason I can be thankful for everything else. But for the non-believers out there, shoving religion down their throats every day is not the way to get them saved. I don’t think so, anyway, and I’m speaking from experience. Just like anything else, you have to want it. I want to help you want it. I am thankful for Jesus dying for this sinner right here. I should show it more.
Also thankful for my Facebook friends who read my posts & enjoy them. I pride myself on knowing every single one of you. And if you’ve made it this far, I must really like you a lot because I’ve weeded out pretty much all the people who feel the need to argue with me on every post whether it be about pimento cheese or padded walking horses (yes, seriously. Same person) & the virtual stalkers. I am thankful FB has connected a lot of us and I am thankful we share a lot of laughs on there.
I am thankful for the plastic bags around cereal (a box fell out of the bag & got left in the back of Patsy during the monsoon the other night, but all is well) and every night after a long day on my feet I am thankful for my supersoft mattress. I am convinced its the softest in Seymour. I’m thankful I had the unconditional love of a dog for 17 years. (Surely y’all didn’t think I’d forget about Crockett?!?!) I’ll stop. But I always like to throw in yhe trivial things too. Giving thanks for the little things paves the way for the big things. Happy Thanksgiving Month, be blessed xoxoxo
