November Writing Challenge, Day 5
Holy.
How fitting that it’s Sunday. But then, not everybody worships on Sunday. Not everyone worships at all.
I’ve fallen out of church, myself, I’m sorry to say. The reason isn’t because I’ve had second thoughts on religion. No, nothing like that. More like laziness. And I guess the best way for me to keep today holy is to stay away from other people. Because, face it, people annoy me.
So anyway. I’ve known holy rollers and I’ve known spiritual people who have more compassion in them than people who are self proclaimed born again Christians who go to church every time the doors are open. Of course, we all know sitting in church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Of course I should be witnessing to readers instead of bashing people who are probably doing more than me to get right. So. I’ll tell you about the time I was baptised in the Spirit. Never heard of it? Neither had I. (Mark 1:8 touches on it, along with a few other passages). We were attending this little church in South Knoxville-in Vestal-to beat all…Shug likes the tiny churches. And I will admit to feeling more in touch with the Lord in them little places where your voice is clearly heard when you sing and they wait on you to find your place in your Bible before beginning reading the scripture. This place wasn’t as big as a gas station, set right against the road on a gravel lot and a rusty chain link fence barely kept the blackberry bushes at bay out back. Nothing matched on the inside and lots of Sundays we drew almost as many homeless as we did home dwellers. It was an eye opening experience for me, but I constantly reminded myself that I was offended by people who volunteered and sent money to third world countries instead of helping at home. There is need in Knoxville, y’all. There is need in Sevierville, there’s need everywhere you look. You don’t have to get on an airplane to find it. This church helped locally. And I would hazard to say most of its members didn’t have charity to give. Anyway. It was a stirring Sunday and some crazy stuff was happening, a lady walking around blessing the pews and curtains and some guy blowing into an oxen horn, I don’t know what all. I was mesmerized and just a little terrified. You know me, always scared somebody’s gonna break out the snakes. It IS East Tennessee, after all. We’re not as removed as people would lead you to believe.
Pastor John is getting people to the altar left and right and everybody is just captivated and swept away on this spiritual torrent. I’d never seen anything like it. They were shouting and praising God and Kim was annointing members and I was just struck at how beautiful and moving it all was. Next thing I know, this woman that got annointed was being lowered to the floor and she was smiling serenely. Thankfully she wasn’t thrashing around or I would have been beating the door down. That stuff makes me nervous. I had enough seizure phone calls to do me while I was dispatching. John was explaining to the congregation that she had been baptised In the Spirit and went on to describe what that entailed, exactly. I was intrigued. I wanted it. But I was wearing a skirt.
Pastor John must have seen the want in my eyes and offered. I used my skirt as an excuse. No problem, he said, we could wait till most everybody cleared out and they had a blanket to cover me with. And they did. And I was so warm and when John smacked me on the head and my knees went weak and it wasn’t stupid and I wasn’t acting and I fell into Johnny’s arms and that was that.
Holy cow.
Holy moley.
After my many years in and out of various churches (my great grandmother was a Jehovah’s Witness and that will leave a bad taste in a kid’s mouth because they are incredibly forceful at that tender age), I hadn’t really let myself go. I took a smirking approach to so many others’ beliefs and gritted my teeth on many an occasion. The big church I steadfastly attended for several years, even participating as an Angel in Heaven for their Judgement House, had never stirred me like this. Everything-the singing, the worship, the prayers, always felt so rehearsed, so fake in that sanctuary. I’m sure plenty of people like it and feel touched or they wouldn’t have such a prosperous congregation.
I don’t know what’s become of Pastor John and Kim, I hope he’s still preaching the truth somewhere and she’s still singing “He Knows My Name”, because they had the gift of reaching many and truly making a difference because of what they’d come from- what they’d overcome. They could relate to people that probably wouldn’t be comfortable approaching some more refined houses of worship. They made you feel welcome, whether you were fresh from the bar the night before, determined that was the last time, or dressed in your best. He encouraged us all to keep a dust-free Bible.
And that’s my definition of holy.
How many times can one have a mishap in the kitchen in two weeks’ time, I ask you? Well, I’m gonna tell you about three…that happened to this girl I know. You might say a friend of a friend. A perfect stranger, really.
Scenario One: You sit at work daydreaming all day about what you’re going to have for supper. You have the menu all planned out and you’ve starved yourself nearly to death by 3:00. You come home and begin making the supper you’ve carefully thought out, in this case broccoli and cheese soup and Red Lobster cheddar biscuits (buy yours HERE, they’re fabulous). You’re reading the back of the box to make sure you’ve got your butter/ cheese ratio correct and see a plug for their new Parmesan-Rosemary blend biscuits. While they sound appetizing, it’s not something you would pick up. Or maybe, but not in the bulk box the first time. They’d probably be tasty with pork chops, or herbed chicken.
You begin to mix the water and dough mix. Something doesn’t smell right. It doesn’t smell bad, it just doesn’t smell like it normally does. You turn the box around slowly. Sure enough, you have accidently bought the parmesan type. Crap on a cracker. You’re not having chicken, you’re having cheddar soup to be paired perfectly with cheddar bay biscuits.
Sigh.
Looks like now you’ll be having non-perfectly paired food.
Scenario Two: You have had beans simmering away in the crockpot all day. You have planned the rest of the meal accordingly: kraut and weenies (even though there’s ham in the beans, you still need meat), fried potatoes, and of course, cornbread. You get home from work and are ambling around, doing lots of nothing, when your aunt next door texts you with an egg emergency. She’s one short. No problem. You have a fresh carton of 18, plus a lonely four. You zip on a jacket and head across the yard with the four. Turns out she’s preparing the same meal that you are, except her potatoes are of the mashed variety, being that they’ve already had fried this week. You stay awhile, just lingering and catching up on books, family, whatever. You get home and start fixing your own supper. It’s after you have the kielbasa sliced and in the pan you realize you haven’t come across any kraut in your cabinet in quite some time. A slightly panicked search ensues. You frantically pull numerous cans of beans out to search more thoroughly. You make a trip to the stockpiled goods in the basement. No dice. And no kraut, either. These sorts of things don’t happen often, but when they do, it’s a catastrophe. A few weeks ago, it was gravy on the stove with no milk. And today, no kraut for the weenies. Instead of dashing out to the grocery store, I just made the call to next door.
Lo and behold, salvation was found in the cabinet. Once again, you zip your jacket and retrace your route.
Geminis. Saving the day for each other. It’s a wonder we hadn’t made plans to go out and just forgot.
Scenario Three: you get in your head you’d dearly love to have some cupcakes. As this happens with some regularity, you just happen to have the ingredients on hand. You’ve got everything going and pull the lid off the frosting to give it a stir. Of course then you have to lick the remnants off the lid…because the uncooked cupcake batter you already consumed off the beater deserves it.
It doesn’t taste like it normally does. It doesn’t taste bad, it just doesn’t taste like what you remember. Like when you order Sprite and they serve you 7-up instead. Like you won’t notice. I don’t mind 7-up, but I like a little warning (now replacing Coke with Pepsi, they’d fightin’ words). You look at the container. Pillsbury brand. That must be the problem. Seems like you prefer Duncan Hines. But wait. Vanilla marshmallow??? Ewwww. So, once again, you peer into the cabinet and BEHOLD!! There is another can of white!
You peel the lid off and stir. It doesn’t look as white and fluffy as usual. Here we go again, you think, and take a tentative lick off the spoon. It doesn’t taste exactly right. And why do the cans looks so different if they’re the same brand? Unless…..
Sure enough, the white is older. Much older. Expired three years ago older.
When you’re a Gemini, you have a backup plan for your backup plan. Being that there was ZERO possibility of going to the store and 100% certainty cupcakes were going to be eaten, one must turn to Pinterest for a lifesaving frosting recipe.
And….eh. I probably should have just gone to the store. I mean, she. Not me.
I‘m a hopeless optimist. Ask anyone who knows me well. I stay to the bitter end, hoping against hope things will get better: my jobs, relationships, food. You name it.
Don’t fault me for wearing orange. I have no more say in the matter than I do over my skin or eye color. It’s game day Saturday? Bet your best watch Amy’s wearing orange. It’s almost indeliberate and automatic. If we’re not in attendance, we’re watching from wherever we are (including the Walking Horse Celebration and a bar in Florida) and looking for the checkerboard with every play.
Sure, I’ve lost hope several times this season. It’s depressing. I’ve said for a long time-it’s hard work to be a true fan. Anybody can root for a winning team. But to support a program when they’re down and out takes a special kind of loyalty. Some may call it stupidity. But Rocky Top does something to me. And orange is never wrong. Additionally, you can always cheer on whoever is playing Alabama or Florida. Lots of ways to keep occupied as a Vol fan.
If nothing else, I can be proud of our band. Pride of the Southland never makes a false step. They’re the majority of the pageantry: the Power T that the team runs through, the people that keep the crowd alive, the ones who lead the chants.
I sing the National Anthem with my hand over my heart till the last two lines when I’m crying too hard to sing another word. I’ve always been this way. It just stirs something in me. Roothog or die.
When you enter our stadium, there are lots of officials welcoming you to Rocky Top. My stomach still churns from the excitement and I’m swept along, up the concrete ramps, surrounded by similar orange-donned spectators smelling of Jack Daniels and barbeque. (I’ll never understand how people can drink all day then go sit in the sun with 100,000 other sardine packed fans). You’ll feel the thunder. Expectations are high, the energy is palpable. All the seats at Neyland are good. If you’re long legged you may be a bit uncomfortable, but you’re liable to forget about it once all the action gets underway. Your hind end won’t get numb because you’ll constantly be on your feet screaming for one reason or another. Usually the drunks are under control due to all the ushers mingling. And the language is toned down. I hear way worse in my living room.
…out of my own mouth.
We don’t call them the Heart Attack Kids for nothin’.
I did drive out of the road a couple of years ago when I was listening to the radio: “7 to zero, Tennessee, & the Vols are driving.” I get goosebumps. When it’s followed by, “They’re playing fast, already lined up. Dobbs fires, ball is caught at the ten, turns, at the five. Checkerboard.” Those are some of my favorite words. I screech and take momentary leave of my senses.
My family is weird, no doubt about it. We are also die hard Tennessee Volunteer fans. Quite literally, as demonstrated here.
My grandmother, gone nine years, was ready for the age old rivalry with Alabama, thanks to my momma. Who also ain’t right. She has done this every year for quite some time. Even Grandmother’s tombstone boasts a football with “Go Vols!” etched on it. She’s eternally resting about nine miles as a crow flies from the stadium.
So there are my feelings about the Vols in a nutshell. I’ll always root for them, I don’t have a choice. You live here, you cheer for Tennessee no matter how bad they get. It’s in your blood. You can say they suck when they do, but you still care, you still hope, and you still put on your orange and holler your guts out.
November Writing Challenge, Day 4
Tweeting
I have never tweeted in my life, save for singing that old tune “all the little birdies on Jay Bird Street, love to hear the robin goin’ tweet-tweet-tweet”. I once Facebooked that I was too long winded to tweet, which was ironic, since that was one of the few posts that could have been tweeted.
I think our President has no business tweeting, but maybe that’s over since the disgruntled employee evidently deactivated his account. A wise move for all, I say.
My cousin collects Tweety Birds.
I can’t whistle. Maybe there’s a parallelism there.
Didn’t they call Conway Twitty Tweety? I don’t know. I was young. I don’t know a thing about Tweeting.
I’m really out on this subject, if you couldn’t tell. I kinda dread sharing it, but I’m committed now. And it will keep me accountable to improve. (See? I almost wrote “do better”) Sorry to disappoint you with this one. Not much to draw on.
November Writing Challenge, Day 3.
Clarity.
I gained the clarity of sight in fifth grade. I didn’t realize I was squinting, but one of my teachers did. Nobody in my family had connected my debilitating headaches to poor vision. But what a relief it was to be able to read road signs easily and distinguish cows from…well, blobs. The migranes disappeared, never to be repeated in my lifetime thus far. And believe it or not, I prefer myself with glasses even though so many people feel the need to tell me I’m so much prettier without them. These are the same people who like it when I have straightened hair. #sonotworthit
Shopping for glasses every year is both a blessing and a curse, as so much of my life is. It’s a blessing to be able to afford high quality lenses and the ability to have them so quickly and *almost* effortlessly, compared to many countries that have no availability to them at all. And the selection! It takes me forever to narrow it down to just a few pairs. I always make the saleslady pick, as I am a hopeless Gemini. But contacts are out of the question. I nearly have to be hog tied to get eye drops in (I’ve found rolling them off the side of my nose is almost endurable) and I can barely get an eyelash out without crying or melting down from an anxiety attack. It’s ridiculous! I’m not normal. I can’t bear to tell you about the “little puffs of air” glaucoma test. That is my own personal hell. Give me a pelvic exam any day over that torture. Beyond dealing with near constant specks and smudges, the only other bad thing about poor eyesight is keeping up with glasses. I’ve put them in the same place for forever before I go to sleep, but it’s more to do with jumping in bodies of water forgetting that you have on your viewing apparatus. Fortunately, I’ve never lost a pair. At $500 bucks a pop, I can’t afford to. Although, many years ago, I was late to work one morning hunting them. I had evidently driven home in my sunglasses and my regular glasses were discovered the next day in the floorboard of Patsy. Never did figure that one out.
I remember when math clicked, and telling time, and when I learn someone’s profession and it’s like, “Oh! That explains so much!” Or those life hacks links. Those are the very definition of clarity.
I gained clarity again as an adult, when I realized a college education will get you so far, but what is really valuable are the connections you make and the memories never to be repeated. I’ve gained clarity over and over again as I’ve stepped away from poisonous relationships, toxic friendships, and dead end jobs. Sometimes it takes stepping back to realize things aren’t going to get any better.
Right now it’s pretty clear that I’m not going to get much housework done today, but plenty of reading. The day is not clear, there’s fog drifting from last night’s rain and it has me in its melancholy grip. Nope, won’t be much accomplished today in this house.
November Writing Challenge Day 2
Wind.
Once upon a time, in a land full of dirt roads and gently rolling hills, there was a cabbage plant. And under its largest leaf quivered a small winged grasshopper. The grasshopper wasn’t sure what had happened for him to be separated from his 392 siblings, but here he was. He was scared, but he wasn’t cold. He was lost, but he wasn’t blissful. He was green, but he wasn’t jealous. His yellow eyes darted anxiously as he chewed his bottom lip. He flicked an antenna and waited.
Pretty soon he heard the chirrups of friends and neighbors 40,000 strong and he ventured out from under the cabbage leaf. He stretched out a leg and eyed the sky for swooping sparrows. The golden wheat rustled and he warily watched the high grass for other uncertainties. He climbed a stalk and munched thoughtfully on a tender sprout he’d found on the way up. It was green like him. The stalk shifted slightly. He gently swayed in the wind. He spread his wings to shake the dust out.
And he remembered being lifted, the sensation of being weightless, and this was it, it was wind. It was wind beneath his wings. And he was flying away, to the next cabbage patch, on the next wind.
I never gave much thought to wind until I went out west. It’s not like we get hurricane gale force winds here in East Tennessee. But in Oooooo-klahoma (where the wind comes sweeping down the plains) it’s a whole different scenario. It took me till the Painted Desert to learn my lesson about only opening one vehicle door at a time. That’s right, you have to coordinate with other passengers who’s going first, second, and so on so that you don’t create a swirling vortex in the middle of your car. And so that you can get the doors slammed back shut without them being ripped away. It’s crazy! But the flags always look nice. It’s so constant and powerful they’ve harnessed it like we harness water out here and have these crazy huge clusters of windmills providing energy to homesteads.
But here the wind is more of a gentle breeze to be appreciated from a porch swing or the shade of the old maple while catching a break from the garden. The tinkling of the windchimes lures you to relaxation with the sweet notes that ring out. In the rare event the wind gets too severe, it’ll break the middle of the Bradford Pears out (blasted trees!!!) or take out some old rotted limbs. Thankfully that doesn’t happen very often.
In the pines, in the pines, where the sun never shines…and we shiver when the cold wind blows…Bill Monroe certainly accurately captures the image of the wind in the Appalachias. Curl up in front of the fire with a mug of hot chocolate and a tattered copy of Gone with the Wind and read while the snow falls and piles in drifts.
Of course, here at the Johnson Plantation, the most common wind is of the broken variety. No little grasshoppers here. Just barking spiders.
Instead of doing 30 days of Thankfulness I’m switching it up this year.
I think it will be good for me. All twelve months are listed on Pinterest. I need to get back in the habit of writing. Time is so hard to come by, though, between working, keeping house, cooking dinner, my own maintenance (which seems to grow by the day), reading my self imposed goal of sixty books this year, and catching up on social media. But anyway.
So. Day One. Heartbeat.
Well. The obvious is when your heart starts beating, you’re here, and when it stops, you’re not.
But I’m not normal and the first thing that comes to mind is Brian talking about wood fences that don’t lay with the land and have “heartbeats” (bumps).
But for the sake of a good story, we’ll track back to the customary usage.
I see more hearts stopping than I do starting.
My heart stopped the first time I laid eyes on Johnny. I know it did.
I’ve seen heart stoppingly gorgeous creatures; horses at play in fields and working cattle, their muscles rippling and manes flying away from their necks as they turn on a dime (my heart has stopped when I became separated from said equine in a grand fall). I’ve witnessed panthers pacing and stalking prey, their gorgeous shining coats showing just a shimmer of dapples. I’ve watched fish glide and birds soar and swoop and wondered at the ease of which they go and how could my eyes possibly take in all the details? I’ve stumbled upon deer frolicking and turkeys strutting and scared up a hoot owl in pursuit of a small groundhog and it was all heart-stopping-fantastic. Even bats and cicadas are beautiful as the sun goes down in a sherbet sky. Pause and watch sometime. Your heart may give pause.
I’ve read poetry of such magnificence my heart stopped and watched breathtakingly beautiful mountain scenes pass outside my window and stared perplexed at fog and waterfalls and impossibly clear days.
I’ve ridden heart stopping roller coasters, where you pull 3G’s upside down with your head eighteen inches from the ground and you just know this is IT.
I’ve been at weddings where the beautiful bride just cries into her perfect flowers and wonders at the perfection of the day and how could her heart possibly hold another ounce of love? So it stops on her day and everything is a snapshot for that one moment.
My heart has stopped in haunted houses. I hate that crap where they sneak up after you when you think you’re on to the next attraction.
I’ve witnessed hearts stopping in hospital waiting rooms when they get the news they’ve been praying about.
There’s much debate over abortions, and when an embryo crosses the line from being cells to being a human. The argument is frequently made that the fetus gains a heartbeat at around three weeks old, and so that’s the defining line. You pray for heartbeats. You pray for your own if you’re sick, and you pray for more for those you love, and you pray for it to be strong if you’re carrying.
The heart of rock and roll is still beating, according to Huey Lewis. The Heartbeat of America is today’s Chevrolet. And I’d eat a dozen cupcakes in a heartbeat if I wouldn’t gain 10 pounds.
Heartbeats. Takes all kinds.
It terrifies and saddens me that I almost lived a life without Neil Gaiman. He is most wonderful and gifted and unique and I was thisclose to never knowing.
If you need a vacation for your brain, if you want to slip into something more comfortable, if you’re tired of the pretentious books with parallel meanings and readers’ guides (why can’t they just say what the want to, for the LOVE), if you can’t stand the thought of another book hailed as a “gripping suspenseful novel with a twist, the likes of which have been unseen since Gone Girl” THEN READ NEIL GAIMAN. On second thought, just read him for the love of reading. Read for the childhood you think you’ve lost. It’s just there, around the bend. Step in. Step through the wall. Perhaps you’ll meet your hearts desire. Maybe you’ll catch a star.
Buy it here I don’t know why it’s not showing the picture….it’s a pretty fantastic cover. There’s a unicorn in this book, for Pete’s sake. A UNICORN.
Here are a conglomeration of Facebook Birthdays to my reliable pickup I bought on Friday the 13th, 2000. That’s right, almost twenty years ago. She has been my everyday vehicle for the duration. She’s only had one set of brakes in her lifetime. She’s seen me through two wedding dresses (but only one wedding, think on that), three speeding tickets (all THP), and I don’t know how many French fries and fishing trips. When the finance manager at the dealership asked how long I intended to keep her, I answered firmly, “Until the wheels fall off.” I bet he would be surprised to learn that I’m still behind the wheel.
2014: Happy Birthday to Patsy, my beloved Chevrolet. She was bought 14 years ago today. It was Friday the 13th. That has proved to be exactly the opposite of a bad omen. She has been an excellent vehicle. I had $2500 in the bib pocket of my overalls for a down payment that night. My salesman was like, “you would bring cash…” Like it was a bad thing. She has hauled hay, saddles (there’s one in the seat right now), wedding dresses, bookshelves, & @$$!!! I’ve got the speeding tickets to prove it. But truly, everyone said I couldn’t afford it, I would hate being in something so big, I would go broke on the gas mileage. Gas was $1.47 per gallon the day I bought her. I still wouldn’t change a thing. Hope she’s still runnin’ in twenty more years.
2016: Happy Birthday Patsy. Sweet 16.
Like a rock.
(A rock doesn’t have air conditioning, either).
Here’s y’all a Patsy story I’ve never told on here:
I’d had her less than a week & had a hankerin’ for a doughnut. So, like any true Southerner, whupped into the Krispy Kreme for some tasty morsels. I bit into a raspberry jelly filled one pulling out of the parking lot & it squished out a hidden orifice of the pastry.
Unbeknownst to me, it wound up on my seatbelt.
Hence, in my hair.
I didn’t realize it until hours later at my destination when I wondered why my shirt was so sticky. By that time, I’d managed to get it all over the door, too.
I celebrated with doughnuts again today. But a little stickiness would have been the least of poor Patsy’s ails lately. We’ve come a long way in 16 years, with ice cream in the floorboard, barbeque sauce in the shifter, & mayonnaise on the headliner.
She’s safely delivered me to and from every destination all these years. Maybe not the easiest thing to park…and certainly was an attention getter in her early days (remember the stripper at Target, Meg??) but I’ve always been proud and felt invincible in my rig. Thanks Patsy. You’re a good ‘un.
I like fountain cokes and mountain dews in cans, I like sweet tea that crunches and Snapple because of the satisfying plop sound it makes when I open it. I’d recognize that sound in the furthest galaxy. I like cold milk with any dessert and I drink lemonade when I think of it. I like coffee flavored sugar milk when it’s below 50°. I like ice cold water first thing of the morning.
I like bats and swallows, because they dine on mosquitoes.
I used to like okra.
I like bumper stickers (saw one yesterday that said “do you follow Jesus this close?”)
I like people who drive fast but talk slow, and barbeque with cole slaw on the side.
I like standing at the tide line and feeling the sand getting sucked from under my feet.
I like sea turtles and sea otters and sleek seals. Simply put, I like the sea.
I like trucks that aren’t afraid to get muddy.
I like my tattoos, and don’t care if you do.
I like eating crab legs and oysters outside on a wooden deck with never ending bottles of beer.
I like fishing.
I like slobbery, happy, goofy dogs who make no apologies for being glad I’m home.
I like it when the tv is off.
I think everybody needs a fence 🙂
I like witty church signs that make you think the congregation has a sense of humor.
I love Peyton Manning with almost my whole soul. I think we’re the last two people on earth who religiously write thank you notes. Wait–and Cheryl Stranahan.
I like Frank Sinatra’s voice, the Rolling Stones, bluegrass, Kacey Musgraves, Gary Allan, Dwight Yoakum, Miranda Lambert, Ricky Van Shelton, and Patsy Cline. I also like Taylor Swift, but don’t tell anybody. I love Elvis and Aerosmith and sometimes Eminem. I like banjos and fiddles and harmonicas. But nothing makes me happier than catching Dolly on the radio when I’m in downtown Sevierville. I sometimes crave good old church music.
I believe they should teach the words to the Star Spangled Banner and how to shake hands in school instead of the beginning of the Constitution. I think the bigger the flag, the better.
I like Rolos and Reese’s Pieces.
When someone dies, you go to the funeral. You go if you didn’t know them, because a person you love loved them. And you hug that person until they let you go. You don’t turn loose first.
I like mermaids and I’ve always liked unicorns. I don’t think there’s an age limit to liking either one.
I like going to my beautician and growing up and growing old with her. I like how she doesn’t really ask what I want, because she knows I’ll speak up if I want something different (whatcha doin’ with that curlin’ iron? Twist this shit up and pin it, it’s hot and I’m ridin’ with the windows down!) I like to pretend I’m at Truvy’s.
I like manners in young and old alike.
I like to start my day by making my bed, then picking out my shoes and build my outfit around them.
I find serenity in trees. I disliked the desert because it is so vast and empty, devoid of trees. The only exception was the Saguaros.
I like books about things I’ve never thought about….and books about things I think I know. I like talking about books. I like looking at books. I like books about books.
I like Stephen King and Shakespeare.
I like everything about Scarlett O’Hara, even the bad parts.
I like festivals and fair food and running into people I’ve known all my life. I like live music and people with a beat.
I like sitting on the porch listening to the locusts chanting and watching the dogs and birds and the neighbor across the road pick up sticks. No porch is complete without a rocking chair or swing.
I like picking blackberries and squinting in the sun and worrying about the bull across the pasture.
I like poetry that rhymes.
I like gathering eggs.
I like turkey sandwiches, pickles, sun ripened tomatoes, and barbeque tater chips. But I also like sushi.
I like the smell of vanilla candles, hay, and suntan lotion.
I’ll eat cranberries in any form.
I like old houses, most especially the ones with the prospect of ghosts.
I like people who laugh without restraint and look me in the eye.
I like decorating for Christmas.
I like the color pink.
The only birthday cake there is comes from Village Bakery, so I don’t have to even say I like birthday cake. You know I do.
I like riding horses taller than me. Bonus points if they’re grey or black. I also have a soft spot for bays.
I like that people in the South smile at you for no reason other than you made eye contact. I like it when Yankees move down here and notice and want to adapt to our ways.
I love Newport Oregon, Savannah, Charleston, and New Orleans. I like Las Vegas alright. I would live in Idaho or on the Oregon coast if I could only convince the southpaw journeyman I’ve chose to spend my life with. I want to go to Scotland, Ireland, and Alaska before I die. I would also like to visit Paris, but only with a translator, and Australia if they drive out all the snakes.
I would get a massage every single day if I could afford it. I would also pay somebody to worry about my hair and keep up with my phone if I were a billionaire. I would wake up on my private yacht every day on my way to somewhere else.
I love to vote & believe everyone should if you’re allowed. I think that would be my most upsetting priveledge to lose if I ever found myself in prison.
I like rainy days and the crisp bite of autumn when it finally comes.
I like corny jokes and catching crawdads and swimming all day, and thinking about all the days I squandered doing just that.
I love the fantasy of Pinterest and how sometimes it becomes a reality.
I like cows in my Facebook feed better than anything else in this whole world.
I wish you didn’t feel the need to impress us with your life that we all know isn’t perfect.
I like history and antiques and people who can tell a worthwhile story, like Ray Ball. I love Ray Ball.
I like Amazon, Etsy, & Abebooks. I am thankful for the internet. I like putting things in carts like I’m a ba-zillionaire.
I like playing pinball and skeeball at arcades.
I like napping on Sunday afternoons while golf is on.
Trains make me lonesome, but I like them anyway.
I like things monogrammed.
I hope this brought a tiny bright spot to your day or made you smile and say, “I like that, too!” If it didn’t, you should probably go get your passport updated. Take that any way you want to.
