Just Another Day

November Writing Challenge Day 16

Just another day.

What’s “just” another day? Today? None are exactly the same…the all have a general theme of aggravation and reminding myself I’ve actually got it pretty good. But my day? My typical day starts between 5 and 5:38, depending on whether I get up at J’s alarm or mine. Today it was his.

First things first, a quick shuffle to the water closet. I mean, this is full disclosure, right? If I remember, I take my vitamin, my allergy pill, and my blood pressure pill.

I generally forget.

And although some people think I’m lying, I make the bed. Ask Shug. With all 300 throw pillows (that he says he despises but secretly loves).

If it’s chilly, I pull on socks and my robe and stumble my way to the coffeepot. If it’s summer, I just yawn and make my way to the couch.

I scroll a little Facebook, maybe glance through emails while I try to wake up. I check the weather to see what to wear and if we can go forward with staining jobs or what have you. I think about how good Chick-fil-a would be for breakfast…or a doughnut. But maybe I should concentrate on the present and grab a Snapple and some Nabs (tip of the hat to you, Southwest Virginia readers. To the rest of the world, that’s just peanut butter and crackers). If I’ve been to the grocery store, there may even be fruit, typically in the form of grapes, tangerines or bananas. Typically, I leave the bananas for Shug. They give me heartburn.

I’m coming awake now, and begin to wonder if I have time to pack my lunch. Rarely do I have time to fix a sandwich, but leftovers are something you can count on here, and I’ll grab a container of whatever I’ve made the previous night. Which I probably won’t eat if someone offers to go get Pollo Loco or Chubby’s.

Shug kisses me goodbye somewhere between six and five after. Now I gotta get with it. At least the bed’s made. I go get dressed in whatever I’ve decided on. Half the time it doesn’t look like I expected or the jeans I wanted to wear aren’t clean (meaning in the pile by the door of once- or twice-worn garments that aren’t dirty enough to be washed yet) or maybe I’m fatter than last time and that shirt is too snug to be comfortable. #life Brush my teeth before I put my sweatshirt on because I’m notorious for dripping toothpaste all over myself.

So now I’m all atwitter because my new outfit doesn’t incorporate the right shoes for the weather but that’s just how it’s gonna be. I frantically reach for jewelry because I’m running on borrowed time to get out the door. Hopefully there’s no frost because of course I don’t have the foresight to start Patsy and thaw. Deodorant, hair in a knot, makeup would be nice but let’s be reasonable-that’s why I use Rodan + Fields, did I take my vitamins? Keys in the sweetgrass basket, grab my phone, my purse, my lunchbag and away I dart into the bracing air of East Tennessee in November. With any luck, it’s only 6:20.

Start Patsy. Watch for dog turds as I pick my way across the driveway and open the gate. Why does Shug chain it when I leave 15 minutes after him? Zombies? Pull through. Patsy is cold natured and I beg her not to die. Shut gate, fingers numb from dealing with the lock so the meter man won’t come in and knock our dogs in the head.

And I’m off. The madness that is Chapman Highway as people like me that have left five minutes past the time they should struggle and weave around people who seem to be out for a Sunday drive at 6:30 in the morning on a Thursday. I don’t know if headlights are getting brighter or if my eyes are becoming more sensitive but I usually have to flip my rearview up if someone is behind me. And why are they so close, anyway? Believe me when I say I’m going as fast as we should or there’s a vehicle in front of me.

Hitting the divided highway is like a breath of fresh air as we can space out after the turn for those going across Pleasant Hill. A drive down the hill into Sevierville and the sun might be coming up and I might notice again how beautiful my hometown is. The mountains, low and weathered in the distance, pink and purple and orange all melting into one another. Fog lies on the river, still and calm before the birds get out for their breakfast. The Baptist and Methodist church spires pointed to the heavens along with the dome of Sevier County Bank and the courthouse, and yes, there’s the Co-op sniper tower, too. I look to see if Mr. McMahan is at the gas pumps in his teal dump truck.

I didn’t take this picture, and I don’t know who did, but this is what I’m talking about. 

Sometimes people wave at me at the light, but I rarely recognize anybody because it’s still dark and I don’t know what anybody drives. I drive the same thing I always have, so I’m easy to spot. I try to not break the speed limit going up Dolly Parton by more than 10 mph but it’s so hard! Finally, with less than 5 minutes to spare, I pull into the gravel drive that leads to SF.

I don’t usually have to open the gates, because the welder or one of the estimators has beat me there. If I do, I pray that no one is watching me struggle with my lunchbag, pocketbook, and keys while unlocking and sliding that barrier gate. If it’s frosty, there’s no hope, the lock will be frozen and I’ll have to go in and get a lighter.

I unlock, punch the code on the alarm, turn on the heat, open the blinds, and wait for shit to hit the fan. Sometimes it greets me. Like when one of our best installers got arrested. I check the phones for voicemails of employees calling in, customers cancelling jobs at the last minute, you know, little nightmares like that. When Brian arrives, I greet him with “Good morning, asshole,” although I don’t have to anymore, since I got him a coffee cup that states it. When Jackie gets there, I hold my breath and wait to see what sort of news he has. He always has news. Sometimes good, sometimes not even remotely good.

The guys drag in. They get to work right away loading their trucks, cigarettes dangling from the corners of their mouths. They don’t stay long, ready to get their day started. They spare a moment to talk with their project managers about their jobs, double check their straps, and leave in a puff of diesel and crunching gravel.

The sun is up on another day at SF.

Then the calls begin. Hopefully Christy is there with me to help field them. No doubt somebody forgot something that they realize when they get to their job in Wears Valley or Dandridge. Hopefully not Thorn Hill. Arrangements are made to take it to them. Someone has missing or damaged material. Someone has a truck broke down (or on fire, as it happened one bright day), a jobsite that isn’t remotely ready, a problem with a dog/ bear/ goat/ snake/ horse/ pig/ homeowner/ electric-gas or water line. Always something. 

Thankfully Brian is always prepared for any emergency. He even hauls around a kitchen sink, as we discovered today. Photo evidence: 

There’s an issue with the dumpster delivery/ pick up-customer isn’t ready for pick up, customer isn’t there to pay, gate is locked, too muddy or steep, overloaded…the possibilities are endless with things that go wrong in the trucking business.

I typically get unburied around ten o’clock, long enough to tinkle and maybe eat a snack. I send off for quotes, I order material, I reply to emails, I call for DIG numbers, and I get deposits. I confer with Taj on every scheduling possibility, I bill delinquent accounts, I enter credit card charges. It’s finally lunchtime and I’m starved. Christy and I catch each other up on whatever we haven’t already talked about. Everybody at the shop gathers in the office to eat together and it feels like home for awhile and I take a moment to be thankful again that I’m at this job. We have walk-ins, but not like the previous stream I was accustomed to at my former employment. And I get to sit down all. Day. Long.

If it’s my week to go home at three, the afternoon passes in a mad rush. I call installers to make sure we’re on track with the jobs (the Two O’clock Dead-in-a-Ditch check in, as it is known), call customers to let them know if they’re on the board for the next day, and then Brian will blow in with five estimates he needs emailed with details and pictures. If I stay till five, it’s slightly less insane. I scribble notes at every turn. If I don’t write it down, there’s no hope of me having any recollection of it happening. I try to leave with my work done and a clean desk. Most Mondays this is impossible, but by mid-week, things have hopefully settled down.

The trip home is rarely as harrowing as the one in. If I don’t have to stop for gas, ice cream, drop off garbage, Co-op, or my favorite boutique for necessities (necessities, I tell you!), I’m home by ten till six. That’s going the back way or the straight shot, although I much prefer the circuitous route.

You can plainly see why. But there’s a stretch out by the lake that makes me thankful for my home but also nostalgic for old Sevier County. The Sevier County of more dirt than gravel driveways, wood stoves, working on your own truck, and a good time around a six pack. There’s not a cabin rental in sight, but there might be a dog or turkey in the road.

I go downstairs to kiss my husband hello, but Bug always intercepts me. Sugar lays in her kennel, wagging her tail and gazing at me mournfully. I sit down to catch up on Facebook (clearly I have an addiction) then I’ll get started on supper as Shug finishes up his workout downstairs. I get dinner on the table (the table!!!)

And we eat to the sounds of whatever is on the TV. I used to play the radio a lot but got out of the habit sometime back. I need to reincorporate that into my routine.
I wash dishes. By hand. Every. Single. Day. Yes, I do. I don’t dry them or put them away till the next day (sometimes in the morning but usually when I’m cooking supper), then I run through the shower and then I’m finally settled enough to work on my blog (hi there!), read, or scroll Instagram. I like Instagram, but I kinda need to give it up. I don’t have time for everything like I’d like to. I want to read at least a book a week and it’s a lot of pressure to get everything done. We’re in bed by 9:30, while I lie there and wonder what all I forgot to do, or if I said something I shouldn’t have, and what tomorrow will bring.

Friday, if I’m off, or Saturday if I’m not, is the day for cleaning. Maybe the store if I haven’t gone one day after work. Laundry, starting with bed linens, then J’s work pants, then work clothes, then whites,ending with delicate-cycle-hang-me-to-dry-and-all-the-other-ways-I-can-suck-all-your-time-away clothes. I sweep, mop, vacuum, dust, wipe down the bathrooms. I might clean a window or two, or ceiling fans, and twice a year I have to treat the leather furniture. That was today (yes, it took me two days to write this. I was exhausted yesterday). I’m just thankful our home is small. I don’t know how people do it with these huge McMansions. I suppose they have help.

People sometimes ask me if I’m particular. I find this hilarious, much like I do when people ask if I’m an only child. I think it’s blatantly obvious. I put certain colored pillowcases on certain pillows (why would you put a cream colored sham on a pillow that has a sage stripe, unless you don’t have sage pillowcases? Don’t strain yourself, there is no good reason why one should do this. J has just resigned himself to it). My left shoe always goes on first. In the days of actual shoe salesman, this could be a tad embarrassing but I couldn’t change my habit no more than I could change the size of my foot. Gloves, too, but I only noticed that recently. Ice goes in a glass before the liquid. I think most people do this, but I’m incapable of putting it in there after. I have to make a new glass. This is sometimes problematic at parties. Paper towels should be white. I bought some Minions by mistake awhile back and I cannot use them fast enough. Socks should match. Exactly. Like, even if they’re white, that’s not good enough. I look for equal wear. And if they’re different brands it goes without saying they should definitely be paired together.

I know all this is very bizarre for someone who has illegible handwriting and crazy hair, but it’s true. I exercise control where I can.

So sometimes my little quirks make for a longer day before I can reach for my laptop to bang out a story for you or pick up my latest read. But these are my days. Not exiting, but generally peaceful and cozy. “Be content with what you have” Hebrews 13:5-6 But I have a lot. And I know it.

Just Walk Away

November Writing Challenge, Day 15

Just Walk Away

I don’t know about you fellers, but I say this to myself a LOT. Sometimes it’s driving away. But seems like there’s always somebody trying to ruin my peaceful aura. Ok, that might be a bit of a stretch, but I do like to maintain a distance between myself and other individuals, whether it be in line at the grocery store or in traffic. It’s like, if I’m trying my hardest to give another person their space, the person behind me is determined to be taking up the slack between me and them. If I’m maintaining a safe following distance (two Mississippi’s) then someone else sees that as an opportunity to zip in. Jerks. So I have to breathe out Satan and walk/ drive away.

Or hit them with my elbow and/ or purse, as I did in Kmart last week. And Panda Express two years ago. Can’t. Stand. It. If I flip my hair in your face and you don’t back up, prepare to become bruised. And as far as the driving goes, you’re very likely to be treated to a single finger salute and a trumpet from Patsy. I’ve heard that normal people use their horn only twice a year. I’m surprised I don’t have to replace mine with every oil change. Hey hey hey! Y’all drive Chapman Highway twice a day and see how much decorum you can hold yourself to.

So I just realized I’m not talking about being passive aggressive and walking away at all. I’m talking about the exact opposite.

…….

So. Um. Not sure I have any real life examples of that.

I’ve hung up the phone and exhaled and then vented a whole bunch of times…I’ve quit jobs…but I don’t know that I’ve ever went peacefully, serene and angelic and with a Christian-like comportment. Maybe I should exercise more than my writing on this particular topic.

Just Walk Away

November Writing Challenge Day 15

Just walk away.

You ever had one of those conversations that you knew was heading south (and why do we use south as an adjective for degrading??) and there was no way to redeem it, you were too far gone so you just had to walk away?

I had a friend for over twenty years and I would get in these train wreck derailing conversations with her weekly. You couldn’t fight her. It got worse after we had said conversations over alcohol. I can’t tell you how many restaurants and bars I had to just walk out of. I’m surprised we remained friends as long as we did.

But sometimes walking away is the only responsible thing to do, the only way to preserve your dignity.

In retail, it was hard to employ this rule, so often I could be found behind the counter, slit-eyed and gritting my teeth. It was the closest to walking away that I was allowed. It’s surprising how many people are oblivious to pure hate.

I love this meme.

You can always walk away.

The Test Results

November Writing Challenge Day 14

The test results.

When you’re little, it’s all about what the U.S.S.R. stood for and the capitals of the 50 states. Then it was what value did x stand for and please list thirteen characteristics of a positive neutron.

{The first actual life changing test is taken at 16…some of us had to take it a couple of times. Stop signs are overrated.}

And it all boiled down to what you scored on the ACT that would determine the rest of your life. Or so we believed. Oh, how our naive minds believed. What we didn’t know is that these were the easiest tests to pass…the ones we actually had some control over. 

On to college, the days of relentless testing of the essay variety. What did this particular poem mean to you and what is the most significant symbolism in Dante’s manuscript to his mother? And all for what? So we can get a job where they don’t even glance at our GPA or ask for verification because they’re gonna give you the bottom of the barrel position and tell you you’ll have to make your way up the food chain…or if you’re a girl in a man’s world you may get lucky enough to be told the truth: “There’s no ladder to climb”, even though they’ll hire several men behind you who move into supervisor roles that don’t have your education level or experience…Oh, sorry, I got off topic. We’re talking about test results.

As we mature (well, physically, anyway) we may perhaps have to take a pregnancy test. 

As we grew up, we maybe discovered that the most important test results aren’t the ones where we give answers on paper, but it’s the tests where we submit to blood and tissue sampling…and we wait. Just like when we waited on the teachers to grade our papers and we had to wait on scores…you wait for an envelope in the mail or you wait for a phone call from the office or you call a number when an automated voice gives you your result. Is it the big C or is it just a spot? Is it an ulcer or is it acid reflux? Is it a heart attack or anxiety? Is it pregnancy or is it constipation? (I’m serious. That happened to TWO DIFFERENT girls I know!)

Lets not get hung up on test results. They only matter in the moment. Live all you can while you can. Because tomorrow is not promised, and life is but a vapor. Drive like you stole it. 

Water Flowed

November Writing Challenge Day 13

Water flowed

My house is old, as I have mentioned a few times. We frequently have plumbing problems, especially in the sinks. I think we’ve got everything all fixed up now, after many years of not having a working bathroom sink in the bedroom, and then several of not having one in the main bathroom. That means brushing your teeth in the shower and washing your hands in the kitchen sink. The first year I ever cooked a turkey for Thanksgiving, I had a bucket under the sink until we could get Johnny’s buddy Scott the plumber over. I would have cried if it would have helped. Thankfully Johnny is pretty handy and has fixed all the issues that have come our way. Even when he had to cut the backs of the cabinets out and taking a saws-all to my pink bathroom wall. But it’s a small price to pay, I assure you. 

I remember when we were dating and he was working over in North Carolina, the shower stopped up. I had done everything I knew to do (pouring a gallon of Drain-o in the vicinity of the drain and praying) and it was just at a standstill. I was bemoaning my troubles to him even though he couldn’t do anything. I could clearly visualize the tub rotting and falling through the floor into the basement and then how would I get clean? The creek was cold and I’m way too lazy too heat water on the stove and bathe in a stock tank for cattle. There’s this picture of a cowgirl in one of those, you know, long legs slung over the side, blonde hair cascading with a cowboy hat perched jauntily on top, boots parked at one end…

Yeah, I wouldn’t look anything like that. More like a Charolais heifer belly up from falling in.

But as I’m chatting with Johnny I hear this godawful gurgling and chug-chug-chug noise and after I collected my wits from the ceiling I figured out it had to be the tub so I poked my head around the corner and sure enough….

Water flowed.

It Evaded Me

November Writing Challenge, Day 12

It evaded me.

Being a bit of a flake, thoughts evade me constantly. Sometimes I’ll be smack dab in the middle of telling a story, get distracted by whatever it may be, and couldn’t tell you for love or money what I had been talking about twenty two seconds prior. I also keep the dictionary app open on my laptop when doing any writing because I can almost think of what I want to say….almost. So if I can put in the word I can think of, I can usually come up with the one I can’t.

I’ve never been a hunter, other than that one time, so I don’t have any thrilling stories of how my prey evaded me. What? You wanna hear about the one time? Well sure, I have nothing else to do, besides read a 291 page book by Wednesday for book club.

I was in 5th grade and had just completed the Hunter’s Safety Education Course with the rest of my classmates. We’d went out to the dam and shot clay targets with a .410, which was not a big deal, since I’d grown up around a bunch of men that were outdoorsy. Uncle Dale had had me shooting BB guns since I was about 5. (But I still don’t bait my own hook). Anyway, he’d had this idea (dream?) of taking me on the juvenile hunt once I passed the hunter’s safety course. I wasn’t opposed. Until it came to getting up at 4:00 am and setting out for parts unknown in Middle Tennessee. I started the day off deaf, according to him, when he told me to shut the gate and I was probably already nodding off in the dark warmth of the old Ford.

We arrived at our destination and began walking. I had my own personal twenty eight pound backpack to heft, along with my gun, in borrowed boots. Of course it was fall, and there was about ten inches of leaf litter on the ground, disguising lethal rocks and holes. Leaves are slippery, themselves, and I went down once, jamming the end of the gun in the ground. After we got that cleaned out, I think we walked about sixteen miles, but it was still dark when we stopped for the sunrise overlooking a valley. I was relieved to stop, if only because I was tired of being told to make less noise tromping through leaves. Hello? Impossible. I’m more Irish than Indian.

The good thing about walking was I stayed warm. The bad thing about stopping was I got cold fast. Sitting there on that slab of limestone, I had three thoughts: #1) I was cold. I shivered, trying to keep my teeth from chattering required concerted effort. #2) I was hungry, but the thought of pulling my backpack off and rooting around for the peanut butter and crackers was exhausting. I was tired already. And Uncle Dale had told me to be still. And quiet. It was hard for me to be either. #3) I had to pee. And I didn’t want to tell him, because he had asked me when we got to our destination and I had said no…but now I had to.

My eyes were tired, and there wasn’t anything to look at besides the field, devoid of anything besides knee high grass, so I shut my eyes. I guess I drifted off, because next thing I knew he was poking at me, telling me to open my eyes and watch for deer. *Yawn* Why did I have to watch, if he was watching too? Couldn’t he just watch for both of us?

When that particular location didn’t work, we were on the move again and I had to GO. I was dreading this, too, being layered in all these borrowed clothes that I wasn’t entirely sure how I got bundled into in the first place. I finally managed, and got everything pulled back up with minimal bunching. Off we go.

I remember crossing a creek. I remember being drained, with a headache on top of that. We had eaten, I think it was just the stress of the day. The only reason I even wanted to shoot a deer was to impress my uncle, but I wasn’t looking forward to all the additional work it would require…and all the guts. Ew. The guts.

So I began to pray we wouldn’t even see a deer. No deer, no deer, nodeernodeernodeer, I chanted with every step. And it worked for awhile. We’d crossed the strip mine field and were following a creek bed when we spooked up a spike. I hadn’t been paying the slightest bit of attention, other than watching the sun get lower in the sky and trying to decide what time it was. Uncle Dale got really excited, though, and was telling me to shoot. I was fumbling around and couldn’t remember where the safety was when he took it from me, flipped the button, and handed it back.

By this time, the spike with his white flag tail had bounded to safety. Although, truth be told, it was never in any danger from me. Uncle Dale was disappointed, I think he cussed a little, but I was secretly relieved. Now we could go home. The little deer lived to tell all his buddies and I could take off this ridiculous itchy blaze orange toboggan. And take a little nap on the way home.

So we went by the farmhouse and met the property owner, Mansel, told him of my almost-adventure, and set back off to East Tennessee.

I can’t remember if Grandmother bought me The Yearling before of after this escapade, but I remember cherishing the book much more dearly than the trip. Get yours HERE.

I haven’t set foot in the woods since with an intent to kill. Uncle Dale still goes right regular, he just got back from Catoosa, as a matter of fact. The closest I’ve come to going with him again is when we rode over to the Hicks property and hung a tree stand a few years ago. We don’t share this particular hobby, although I do appreciate the fact he tried.

I love deer meat, but I really couldn’t have less of a desire to go kill one. If I was hungry, on the other hand…well, hopefully I wouldn’t be telling any evasiveness stories.

Something else that has evaded me is fame and fortune. But that’s probably for the best. I’m insufferable enough as it is.

Dark Places by Gillian Flynn

If you’re one of those readers who has to have a character you identify with, or at least like, this book is not for you. Come to think of it, Gillian Flynn is not for you. 

The book dragged for me in the middle, hence the four stars. Otherwise, probably her best one. What a tangled web of deceit she weaves! But beyond depressing. 

What is it with these families in Kansas murdered in their house? Maybe it’s just because I finished In Cold Blood the other day. I do appreciate Gillian Flynn for giving us answers and tying up loose ends…even if they aren’t the answer or the ending you want.

Walk the Dog

November Writing Challenge Day 11

Walk the dog.

I’ve never lived in a place where I had to walk a dog. I did, as a child, have a Greyhound that I entered in the dog show at the fair because I couldn’t enter my Chow Chow; he was a little temperamental. So I walked her in a circle and won a Purina dog bowl and a blue ribbon. 

She won best in class because she was the only Greyhound anyone had ever seen. Sevier County in the days of yore aren’t like today with all these rescue groups. The majority of dogs spent their life on a chain. The good life meant they had a fence to run around in. One that lived inside was a novelty….and people whispered behind hands not to eat what they brought to dinner, because “they had a dog in the house”. ☺ Now you’re weird if your dog lives outside, and hated by your neighbors if it’s tied.

On the other hand, my momma is a yo-yo queen and she can Walk the Dog.

All I can do is get tangled. 

Used Tea Bags

November Writing Challenge Day 10

Used tea bags. 

Are you kidding me with this? What weird little topics they’ve come up with.

Well, I do have one thing to say: I do think about reusing them. It seems such a waste to just use them the one time. Especially since I buy the big pouches for the gallon size container. But I also know that tea will mold if left out of the fridge….although I guess I could put it in the fridge but that’s too much aggravation. Then it would be like the half-onions that accumulate in there that grow things after a time. 

I’ve also heard they’re good for under eye circles but I haven’t tried them. I liked those little fabric cucumber slices that you could keep in your fridge for that. I don’t think anything works but Rodan + Fields, honestly. Their lash boost has made a believer out of me. 

So. Used tea bags. Hmm. That’s about all I’ve got to say about that.

No, You Don’t

November Writing Challenge Day 9

No, you don’t.

This morning I had a conversation that has haunted me all day. I have the feeling it’s going to last a lot longer. I knew part of his story, but not all.

This is the story of a man who changed his life twice.

He was a young man with a good job, working as a team lead in the receiving department of a sizeable company. Benefits, decent wages, and a workable schedule. He had a girlfriend with a baby on the way. Not a glamorous life, but an honorable one.

And then, as things do, something happened. He met the wrong people, went to the wrong places, and began to do the wrong things. He started selling drugs, which led to doing drugs. He lost his job. He sold a sports car for eight pills. (The equivalent of $200). He lied. He stole his momma’s laptop to hock for drug money. She let him come back. He fleeced her for $350.00. She let him come home. He stole his daddy’s pistol, and that was the end of coming back home. He had changed his life. His path was no longer clear.

He lived under a bridge off Broadway, where the KMart used to be. His mother came every day and picked him up and took him to the Pilot to take a hot shower for $7.00. He got so cold at night he wrapped his feet in toilet paper then stuffed them in his shoes. He slept during the day so he could hit the streets at night with his girlfriend. He would do whatever drugs he could get his hands on, and used intravenously for six years out of ten total years of drug abuse. He was so destitute he would hunt discarded cigarette butts, shake the tobacco out, and roll them into a new cigarette. That’s pretty desperate for a smoke.

“Did you ever think about what you were doing?” I asked him as he just looked at me levelly, not ashamed, just matter of fact. The past is just that- the past.

“Yeah. The baby was three days old. He’d been taken from {my girlfriend} because she tested positive for drugs…so he did, too. It was suboxone, which is what they give pregnant women who are users, but she didn’t have a prescription for it, so they took him.”

“Who had him?” I pressed, imagining he was in custody of the state.

“My ole lady’s ex-boyfriends parents. They had the other kid too. And I just thought, ‘Who are you? Somebody else is raising your kid. You’re living under a bridge. You stole from your parents.

“So I called my momma to come get me.”

This is where our conversation ended for the time being.

The Junkyard Cat***, as I affectionately call him, has been clean, sober, and proud for just over three years. He’ll tell anyone his story, knowing that the more people who know, the more people who will keep him accountable. He also wants to help people. He wants everyone better, because it’s a dark, dark road. We had gotten started on the topic because he brought up this guy he knows who has relapsed again. “He had everything give to him. I didn’t have no help. I mean, I know I lived with my dad, but this guy–his parents bought him a brand new car when he got out of jail. They bought him a trailer. He was hanging out with his brother, his brother kept him occupied and out of trouble…he always only lasts three or four months. As soon as he quits hanging out with his brother, he finds trouble.”

“Do you still think about it?” I always wonder how difficult it is to break that kind of habit. I could never start, because I could never stop. I can barely quit Facebook for three months during Lent.

“Yeah, but not like I want to go back to it, just…I remember how it made me feel, you know?” He cocks his head and squints an eye like a junkyard cat would, and I nod, even though I don’t know.

He now has a better job than he had before, driving a company truck, and is a spokesperson and salesman for a family owned company. I applaud him, and I pray that he stays strong. I know he will. He’s in the light. It’s a “No, you don’t, Satan,” kind of story. A battle.

So he’s changed his life again.

I started to begin this by saying, “I know this guy who was homeless at one time.” But he’s not defined by that, and he doesn’t deserve that. He deserves his good job, and the love of the Lord, and his son in his arms at night. He deserves this better life.

***the Junkyard Cat nickname is derived from traits people share with animals. This man isn’t big enough in stature to be a junkyard dog. He’s pretty thin, and looks just a little bit mad all the time. Like an old tomcat who’s seen his share of hard living. The kind of cat who isn’t any particular color, but at one time may have been calico. He’s missing patches of fur here and there. He’s got scars from old injuries and fights, maybe a healing scab or two. His tail is kinda crooked and his eyes are permanently squinted from being suspicious his whole life. One ear is flicked in aggravation, the other is barely hanging on from a scrap years ago. He doesn’t scamper; he slinks, he skulks, he stalks. He saves his energy for when he needs it. His true pleasure is stretching out in the sun and making mice nervous. If a cat could have tattoos, he’d have a bunch, symbolizing where he’s been and how far he’s come.