Chester is absolutely, positively, 110% wanting to go outside. There is a skunk outside. Chester will not be permitted outside tonight. My house is haunted, in case you didn’t know. My ceiling fan will sometimes turn by itself. I thought it was doing it only when the heat or air was blowing, but it’s not turning now, and the heat is blowing. Last night it wasn’t turning, but the chain pulls were moving. Tonight, all is still. I can watch, as I am ensconced in my library chair and have an unobstructed view. It’s weird. And no, I haven’t had windows open to change the air movement one way or another. The only other fan is in my bedroom. There is no explanation, apart from ghosts. So ghosts it is. People like it when I write about them. People like attention. I do, too. I’ve thought all day that I would write one sentence each about ten people and let y’all guess what was written about whom. And then in coming weeks I would elaborate as the mood hit me. #1. A strong redhead who rides a proud red horse, prefers Sauvignon Blanc (but not Kim Crawford), who can mingle with any crowd, anywhere, anytime. #2. A quilter, a baker, but not a candlestick maker, at least not so far as I know. #3. A halfback Yankee who has a penchant for Christmas lights, Halloween decorations, and is an advocate for firemen, dispatchers…

My best friend has been in Texas all week. I’m actually not jealous, because she’s been spending time with her sister-in-law and brother. Her sister-in-law has been given a Stage IV pancreatic cancer diagnosis and so Lisa felt the need to be by her side for a time. I think it’s been a good visit for both of them. They had some late night cookie eating bonding moments. She was flying home today and the Houston Hobby hub has been a cluster. First they landed from Midland, but had to sit on the plane waiting for a gate for over an hour. Lisa had been looking forward to her hour and a half layover to get something to eat. So that was shot. Luckily, her other flight got a late start boarding or she would have probably missed it. Then she had to sit on that plane at the gate for an eternity. And it wasn’t a weather delay, evidently they’re short ground crews. The Southwest flight tracker online was telling me they had departed, but then Lisa starts texting me and sends me pictures from the window and they’re still on the ground. So that would be frustrating if you were depending on accurate information from the airline. Also, their times had been skewed all day, and I don’t mean on account of time zones. Like, seven minutes into the future they’re listing that the plane had…

Today was certainly…brisk. I walked into work this morning, fully expecting to sink into the warmth of my cozy little office, but instead I could nearly see my breath, and at the same time my nose almost fell off. Luckily the landlord always answers his phone and has handymen on retainer, and they could get out there today. While I waited for it to get to be time for them (does that make sense?) I took myself to the hardware and purchased a heater. Then I took myself to the Cracker Barrel and made a complete hog out of myself on the “Grandma’s Sampler”. Grandma’s Gluttony, more like. And to think, I was disappointed there weren’t biscuits 🙄 Anyway, it’s so comforting to simply sit and sip coffee in a Cracker Barrel and watch people. There will be your retired senior citizens, traveling in pairs, as couples. There will be groups of ladies catching up. There are families, and young moms with babies, meeting their own mother for a few minutes of peace and being waited on instead of catering to another’s needs. There are road-weary travelers, and people on business, some still caught reading a newspaper at their table. And then there’s me: displaced from a frigid downtown office. Alone but content. Smiling at the life bustling around her. My waitress’ name was Jamie. She had a big lipsticked smile and four stars on her apron. I checked. I always check. She…

Happy Sunday! I have been quite productive today, if I do say so myself. And I do. I know you’re not supposed to toil on the day of rest, but I really wanted to get the tree knocked out and peace and order restored to my home. I didn’t get around to mopping (maybe by design, maybe I’m pooped) but accomplished pretty much everything else I sat out to do. I need to be putting forth more effort on reading, but maybe this week I can settle in and do some of that. Speaking of reading, it pains me to see someone apologizing for a lengthy post on Facebook. Guess what? You aren’t forcing people to read what you’ve written. It’s not literature class, they’re not obligated. Just like I’m not obligated to look at 80 pictures of your grandchild. I rarely see anybody apologizing for that, by the way 🙄 So stop apologizing! Say what you want to, with as many words (or pictures) as it takes! It’s your page. Another thing you don’t have to apologize for is not taking calls. And not answering text messages right away. Sometimes you just don’t have the energy for people. You know what a phone call is about: they’re wanting to gossip or ask for a favor. An innocuous text asking what you’re doing is leading. I hate that so much. You’re under no obligation to tell anybody…

Faulkner wrote “As I Lay Dying” and I’m inclined to pen “As I Lay Trying to Sneeze”. I love to sneeze, but they’re so hard won for me. Conditions have to be precisely right: no noise, must have plenty of bright light, and nobody looking at me. So generally I can only find release at home. I can sneeze in front of Chester. Today has been a very satisfying day all around, even without adequate sneezes. I got most of my Christmas cleared away, I just lack the big tree. I got laundry caught up, but I’ll have to sweep, dust, and mop tomorrow. I fixed those little hot ham ‘n cheese sliders for lunch and was quite pleased with them until Kevin started sending me pictures of his chicken & waffles and later, prime rib. To be so nice, he sure can be a jerk. But to be fair, he did invite me up. He’ll be sorry if I ever get a helicopter. I’m wondering about something and want your take, as I don’t have the experience to answer it myself. Feel free to text or private message via Facebook. I can’t promise you I’ll answer an email on here; I’m not sure what I did with my passwords. Yes, I know I’m supposed to just have them stored in my noggin, but get real. Do you think anyone knows your spouse better than you? Obviously the longer you…

One thing about it, these titles are easy 😉 You might get a poem today. Or you might not. Let’s see where this goes. So concludes the ten days of Christmas and tomorrow I will begin tearing down, bad as I hate to. Yes, I could leave it up for another month, or heck, all year, but isn’t that what makes things special? The anticipation and the overall looking-forward-to-it-iveness? So I’ll pack it up. Sigh. Something is going on with my big tree’s lights, anyway, so best to get that taken down and out of here before it burns the house to the ground. I was coming down the ol’ pike today (as my beloved late uncle called it) and I noticed a delivery type van pulling into my aunt’s driveway. It was a little late for the mail, and I hadn’t ordered any packages and I figured she hadn’t either. As I get closer, I decide it wasn’t a true delivery van at all, as it was a bit worse for the wear, and not in the FedEx “I’m in too big of a hurry to run through the car wash” state of dereliction. I’m now watching from my driveway, and the driver hasn’t disembarked. He pulls around the loop and to the top of the rise and throws his hand up at me. I don’t wave back, because I can’t tell who…

Whew, being disciplined takes dedication. And I’m a little short on suitable, safe topics again tonight. I guess I could write about my dog, as he’s a fan favorite, but considering how much of his hair I sucked up in the vacuum tonight, he’s not on my highly favored list right now. (I know he can’t help it, yes, I knew he was a shedder from the first time I laid eyes on him, and yes, he gets brushed daily. I vacuum at least twice a week with the Shark Petpro XLT or whatever it’s called but DANG.) I’ve been asking myself why I’m so critical. It especially concerns Facebook, which is a sure sign I’m spending too much time on there. I’m for less kids and more dogs. Less “what your Ninja Warrior name would be” and more chicken and dumplings. Less griping about politics and more about what you’re reading. Less bragging about what you’ve bought and where you’re going and more about how you’re spending time with those you love in their homes, or yours. Why ya gotta be so fancy? Less pretension, overall, and more truth. Less passive aggressiveness and more directness. Quit faking it. Who are you trying to impress with some of this stuff? Enough. So I’ve come to the point in my life, when I go to buy something, I have to face reality and determine where I’m…

I don’t wish to treat this blog as a journal, but that’s what I’m reduced to, as I have procrastinated all the livelong day. So here we are, going on 9:00 and I’ve got nothing. I have desperately wanted to turn my phone off today, due to conversations I’ve had, as well as conversations I felt were on the horizon. But I didn’t turn my phone off, and I didn’t have a nervous breakdown, and I managed not to bite anybody’s head off. Score! The bottle of wine I shared with my cousin after work helped immensely, no doubt. As Ernest Hemingway said, “write drunk, edit sober.” I’m halfway there! In case you didn’t know, I live under a rock. I have never been to Trader Joe’s. I thought it was some upscale gourmet grocery store. Evidently it’s a home for fantastic cheeses and $6 bottles of wine, so I gotta get there pronto Tonto. Stumbled across a song today that I haven’t heard in decades. “Say Say Say” by Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney, two of my favorites. Funny how music from our childhood sticks with us, but I could hear a Taylor Swift song seventeen times a day and at best may get the chorus by the tenth playing. Nothing against Taytay, just my memory is quickly dissipating. And I’m not remembering the important stuff either, before you try to come to my…

Here we are. Day 2. The day where many of us are back at work. Although I learned that University of Tennessee students don’t begin until January 22nd. That’s some break! I dressed up, I curled my hair, I put on makeup…it’s all a ruse. I am here only in body. Everything feels just a bit off kilter. I can’t explain it. But, on a much brighter note, I got a free car wash today! It is unknown if the guy took pity on me (Maggie had bird doo on the door and probably elsewhere, I’ve been trying not to look too closely) or if I look like the type to gripe and he wasn’t gonna take any chances. Regardless, the “basic” three minute car wash is $12, which is highway robbery with a water hose. Plus it always makes me a nervous wreck. I do not like those things pulling me along and buffeting me with the wind and slapping at me with those giant rubber bands. Now they’ve added concert type lighting and it’s all very disorienting. Several years ago, right after I got my car, I went over there and there wasn’t an attendant in sight. I thought if I just eased my way into the tunnel the magic would begin but it never did and so I came out and circled around to the…

I could have written when I woke up this morning, while the house was quiet and I was snug under my Christmas quilt. I could have told about all the things I’d eaten the night before, and how I was in no hurry to scarf down breakfast. I could have expounded on the many virtues of my host, or how Bowling Green has a few things I wish we had in Sevier County, Tennessee. Like the Tostitos Salsa Verde chips I was finally able to procure. But at least we didn’t have any kind of weather to write home about. I was thankful for calm skies this trip. I could have written from the passenger seat of the Ford as we made our way back home, via the circuitous path via Portland that pains me, apart from the giant strawberries and Hereford bull. I could have told you about the nice man at the gas station who has a truck just like this one, and how we wants a diesel F250 and a fifth wheel in order to travel indefinitely. I told him to go for it. I could have collected my thoughts, at least, so when I sat down to write tonight, in the soft glow of my still-decorated Christmas tree, I would have a real topic and an idea of what my first post of the new year should say. I would appear to you as a responsible adult with clear goals and the capabilities…