read more posts by
Amy
I feel like I have done nothing but eavesdrop on people today. And it’s highly entertaining. First was at the bar at Firebirds. You wouldn’t believe the things people tell bartenders. Or each other at the bar. And just when it was getting good this dude sits down next to me hacking his guts out and I’m immediately disgusted. So his wife was already sitting there and had eaten and evidently he’d had a job interview at the restaurant. Not for the restaurant. I understood it to be an acting job, but I’m not sure. He’d ordered steak and dessert. She said, “Were you not planning on introducing me?” And he’s like, “No, should I have?” Which I’m kinda like him, why would he? That’s kinda weird. And why did she bring him, anyway? Can he not drive? She says something about she should have gone over and given him a kiss. In the meantime, he’s still coughing very vehemently and I’m thoroughly and visibly repulsed and thinking of moving down a stool but that would put me next to another character that I wasn’t sure about. I was stuck between a cougher and a thug. And the bartender, her name was Amy, too, had enough on her plate without me playing musical chairs. She’d already forgot my water twice. And we’re not gonna talk about how long it took me to get my food or…
Well, here we are. Or, rather, here I am, since it’s just me. There is no we. Unless I count y’all, which I guess I should, since you’re reading. Another weekend gone, but I get a bonus day, so that only means I procrastinated from Saturday what I will now need to do tomorrow. Namely, an oil change. I’m gonna make it worthwhile, though, and treat myself to lunch somewhere good. So I come to you tonight, begging grace and forgiveness, because I’m afraid y’all are gonna revoke my Southerner card. Because, look here now, I made instant potatoes. And they were goooooo-ooooood. I’ve got no lies to tell. They’re already on my list for next time. Why did I ever spend time peeling, washing, boiling, draining, mashing, seasoning, and working in butter and milk for *real* mashed potatoes? For just me? These are real, too, it says so right on the bag. And they took maybe five minutes. I really don’t know what else to report on. I have got to finish my book tonight, it goes back tomorrow. White Noise, if you’re interested, by Don Dellio or something like that. I’m too lazy to look. I’m sure I’ve got the spelling close enough and you could find it. Lester recommended it and I liked it at first but now it’s just weird. I’m at 83% and truly nothing much has happened. It…
Good evening. Or good morning, I suppose, if you’re reading this tomorrow. Or maybe it’s good afternoon. Whatever you please. A simple hello would have sufficed, but I now have all that typed and I’m not erasing it. I really just wanted to jump in with what I’m wanting to ask y’all, but I’m constantly reminding my coworkers of Teams etiquette and so I felt I should practice what I preach. Whew. Now that all that is out of the way, even though I’m not following Southern protocols and asking after your health, and how your momma’s doin’, and how the kids are coming along and if little Suzy is going out for soccer this spring…isn’t that the trending sport these days? Soccer? I just wanted to ask y’all if someone would please tell me with Bath & Body Works puts their 3-wick candles on sale. Because I’m not sure if the online store follows the same sales as brick and mortars. And I sure as shit ain’t driving to Five Oaks once a week to check it out in person. Although I do need to go in Clarks. My black flip flops will not live to see another season. I made a balsamic roast in the crock pot today. It smelled so very delicious cooking. That is the trouble with cooking in crock pots while at home. I feel sorry for my dogs over the…
Do not let these warm sunny daysOf February Trick youIt is not summerIt is not yet springMy summer was filled withThree trips To two different rivers Where I did not fishSunflowers & morning gloriesBeer drank in the barn hallOver tearsAnd sleepless eveningsEndless conversations With friends I thoughtI already knewBut raw with emotionOne relaxing day on the lakePoetryAnd looking at the stars Because I couldn’t hold it inFire trucks at the fairAs we posed in our tiarasThere was coffee cornhole charcuterie and cavesThere were plenty of laughsAnd some really big surprises Summer was perfect as usualAnd unforgettable So February needs to get in lineAnd be winter Because I want more cozy daysBefore I’m a sweaty messOn a sweltering dayParked directly over the air conditioner Set on 65I want to eat more chili and soupAnd roasts and meatloafBefore I turn to salads and avocados And ice creamI want time spent curled in my blanketWith a book on my lapAnd a candle flickering And the wind howling beyond my windowsFebruary should be itselfEverything else is takenJust like you…
To blog or not to blog…there is no question. The question is what am I gonna write about? This was so far removed from my brain today, when someone asked me this evening what I was gonna blog about, I almost answered, “what blog?” At least, I don’t think I did. So I could tell you about how I’m a snob. No, really. People truly think that. And I guess I am. I don’t go out of my way to talk to strangers (I just hug them). I am not going to tell you how I adore your {clothes/ shoes/ hair/ eye makeup/ jewelry/ food/ house/ car} to make you like me. You know people do that, don’t you? They’ll just gush and flatter and go on to make you feel good about yourself but it’s all hogwash. I will tell you if I truly do like whatever it is. I’m also a snob about quality. I don’t want cheap toilet paper, Kleenex, or paper towels. I guess I’m a snob about paper products. Funnily enough, I don’t like eating off paper plates 🤔 I mean, I get it, for cooking out and you’ve got a passel of drunks in your backyard plus you don’t wanna do a bunch of dishes. Or if I make a sandwich or get pizza, a paper plate is fine. But if I’m eating a meal- meat and three sides- I want…
This should be fun, as I am still about 10% lit. So I was still mildly grumpy this morning: residual from yesterday. I was trying to just live in the moment, as I’m constantly encouraging y’all to do. My commute wasn’t even strenuous; I came right on up the road, jamming to Whiskey Myers. I love me some Whiskey Myers. Anyway, I got situated at work, ate my breakfast, and as it goes, I started to feel altogether better about life. It’s just a matter of prioritizing aggravations where they belong and knocking out chores. So after awhile I decided to return my steel voting box and see if I could get in to cast my vote in the primary, and even more importantly, the heat for school board. There aren’t many things I like better than voting. And since not a one of y’all jerks brought me cupcakes, I needed a boost. So off I went. The commission is forever friendly. They didn’t have much going on, and gladly relieved me of my steel box burden. The little feller who showed me to my machine was ever patient and knowledgeable about how to cast my votes. I told him I was very familiar with the process; I vote early and often 🤣 but he was just doing his job, and it’s a lot to memorize, so I let him rattle on. He did ask if I was having a nice Valentines. Sure…
Today was Fat Tuesday. In other words, the pinnacle of Mardi Gras. And I would have MUCH rather been there than putting on an election here. I honestly got a call from a woman who was mad she couldn’t vote online. Because nothing could go wrong there 🙄 People vote BLIND. People came in, voted for one person, then asked what they were voting on. They asked what we did. A few asked these questions simultaneously while I was still answering the first question they had asked. I maaaaaaay have gotten a little short with one of Sevier County’s self-labeled “elite”. A smartass is a smartass, I don’t care what you own or what you’re worth. Most of them I’d like to buy for what they’re actually worth and sell for what they think they’re worth. 38 people is a lot for one day in my little office. Jake Right Now kept saying, “I can’t believe we’ve had this many people.” 🤣 He was amazed. But then, it doesn’t take much. I shouldn’t knock him, he helped me with Annual Report folding and stamping the last two days. In other good news, they caught the cop killer. I’m quite disappointed they took him in alive. So now we’ll be financing all his healthcare, food, and weight training for the next forty years. Unless they cook him. I’d pay to see that. I’m not very nice today…
Procrastination is the name of the game over here. Things I am actively not doing: Things I am doing: So more on that last part. Here’s the menu. Can you blame me?! I’ll brave the lovestruck crowds for crème brûlée! And yes, I am aware I could go by myself. And normally it wouldn’t even be a blip on my radar. But it’s VALENTINES. That would make me look pathetic. Even if anybody who bothered to meet me would quickly ascertain I am anything but. I’m just a single girl with an appetite. And now I’m out of things to talk about again. I refuse to talk about the rain. I’m sick of the rain. I refuse to talk politics… yet. I refuse to talk about the Super Bowl or Taylor Swift, because I didn’t watch it because I didn’t care. I met the new Agriculture Agent for our county today. I asked him if he was like John Dutton. He doesn’t watch Yellowstone, so he doesn’t realize what a compliment I gave him. He just shrugged and said that’s what everybody says. And here I thought I was original. What a disappointment. Nice guy, though. I dunno. I don’t wanna talk about nothin’, I wanna go to bed. I think I will. This is all you get. Yesterday’s was lengthy, they can’t all be Pulitzer material 😁 Once upon a timeI was…
I have a friend who recently set sail on her first cruise. She was so excited, as I was for her. I was talking to another mutual friend and he was issuing all sorts of concerns and disbelief that she was going while news circulated of the murders and various crimes that were happening in the vicinity. “Wait, where is it, exactly, that she’s going?” I asked him, thinking I had missed something. After all, I don’t watch the news, but I do tend to get wind of major events one way or another. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “Well, where were all these killings you’re talking about?” “I dunno, my wife was just telling me, she saw it on the news last night.” I rolled my eyes and tried not to blow air too obnoxiously through my nose. “When you go to these islands, they tell you it’s not safe to leave the resort. I don’t know how cruises work, but surely if there’s a bunch of calamity, the don’t de-board. Or they take you elsewhere. They don’t want you killed, it’s bad for business. Word gets out.” For the record, my friend had an absolutely FABULOUS time and wants to go back. There was no scalping, stabbing, or purse snatching, to the best of my knowledge. Almost all my life, every time I’ve went on vacation alone, I had a naysayer in my life, telling me…
What a cozy little day I’ve had. The rain didn’t arrive till the afternoon, and I had my house presentably clean by then so I was able to stay curled up and enjoy it from the warmth of my couch. It’s so nice to be snug at home, free of responsibilities and places to be. I mean, apart from still needing an oil change. Who in their right mind wants to drive to West Knoxville in the rain on a Saturday? For that matter, who wants to drive there on a sunny Wednesday? Not this girl. If you do, see me for keys. Maggie’s fun to drive; I’m just lazy. Lonesome Dove and Nilla wafers are much more my speed for dreary February Saturdays. I also had meatballs marinating in the crockpot and I threw together my famous oatmeal casserole that I haven’t made in over five years. It smelled so delectable baking. Cinnamon must be one of the most comforting scents known to man. You ever know somebody really well in a specific capacity, and then you see them somewhere out of the normal and it’s like seeing a whole new person? For instance, one of your closest coworkers and then you unexpectedly run into them at Dollywood in shorts and sandals and wiping their child’s face free of ice cream and it’s this whole other persona you weren’t even aware existed? Like, you didn’t even know they…
