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Amy
I just knew today was gonna be a good day. I woke up early, even before my alarm! Not that my alarm going off is a terrible thing. Nowadays instead of rudely blaring “classic” rock (primarily rude because some of the music of my high school years is apparently now considered classic. Pffft) it very gradually eases me into consciousness with a sweet little melodic serenade. Anyway, no need to expound on how I wasn’t awoken. But I got up, got my Wordle worked in TWO guesses (!!!!), had a very pleasant early morning phone call (those words don’t even sound like they go together, do they?), viewed a majestic sunrise, and had a perfectly pleasant commute to work, where I cracked an egg to scramble and it had two yolks!! I was amazed. And it was a carton store bought eggs, to beat all. I don’t know how it even made it to the carton. It was considerably bigger than all its roommates, oddly so. I had been saving it to last. And I was not disappointed. I felt like this was setting the precedent for a great day. I felt lucky. And it was so short lived. First thing that happened was the new prospective renters came by. Well they must have signed the deal on the spot, because they stayed all day, shrieking and carrying on like eighth grade girls. And honestly, they didn’t appear much older. I would be excited about my first…
You may think you never get calls anymore; that everyone knows to text. I’m one of those people who only answer for like, five people. And if pressed about letting them ring off, I would be like, “nah, it’s spam, it’s a creditor hunting the man I’ve been divorced from for five years, it’s somebody wanting something. I ain’t answerin’.” Well, the exception(s) to my I-Only-Answer-Five-People rule was exercised tonight. First, I got two calls back to back from a number not stored in my phone. I just KNEW somebody was dead. “Mrs. Johnson?” Came the pert American voice when I answered on second round. Me: “This is Amy, yes.” “Your table is ready.” Me: “Pardon?” Because it was kinda loud. Pert girl: “We’ve got your table ready. At Blackhorse?” Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry! We’re at the bar!” I tell her, leaning around to peer at the hostess stand. I totally forgot to update them when I basically stalked a couple as they left the bar, like a hyena after whatever prey it is hyenas prefer. Oops. Yeah, they’d texted, too. I never give their hostesses much credit, but obviously they’ve got it more together than me. The second time, it was the mother of my oldest childhood friend. I talk to her maybe once a year. This definitely warranted answering. And of course I couldn’t hear her, either, so I stepped…
Something different for today. I present to you the ever popular, much anticipated… Chester’s Chronicle. Year Three, Three Months, and Seven Days Hello, my friends. I know it’s been awhile but you know the redhead has been up to her antics and I, I have been up to my own. Except I haven’t. I have been a very good boy. How do I know? It’s like you think I’m fibbing! I’m positively aghast you would think I would stray from anything other than complete honesty! Dogs don’t have it in them to lie! The expression “lie like a dog” means because we’re all the time lounging around unless there are intruders faces to eat off. Back to the conversation at hand: I know I’m a very good boy because Princess Glitterpants tells me so. And I believe her. After all, there’s no one around brave enough to contest her. I’ve been enjoying some days outside. It’s a little chilly of the mornings, but I have my very shiny (and thick!) fur coat. PGP says with all the hair she sucks up I should look mangy, but I don’t. I’m quite dapper, if I do say so myself. And I do. But anyway, the mornings aren’t cold long, so I won’t get frost toes. I spend much of the time patrolling, and once I have secured the perimeter, I nap in the sun. It feels…
I have inadvertently celebrated Valentines Day today. I know, I’m confused, too. I assure you it’s through no fault of my own. The sweet girl at the bank gave me a cute little heart sticker on my deposit slip! Who does that? It very nearly made my day! I mean, unless you’re a kid or a dog, the bank treats dry up around the time you get a zit. So I was very proud of my sticker. The next treachery was at the grocery store. I can’t pass up the bakery without seeing what delectable cakes they’re peddling. Today my downfall was the cookie cake. But you tell me: would you have been able to pass it up? The dang thing was asking for me!! Something was said to me today at the grocery store and I’m really trying hard not to dwell on it. So this lady ahead of me in line was leaving and telling everybody bye. You could just tell she was the real sweet type. I smiled at the lady bagging my groceries and remarked that it was nice to have regulars. I remember my Grandmother would often wait for a specific cashier. Of course in those days, grocery employees were union and it was a career job, not just something to land on waiting for your next gig. The woman agreed with me and y’all know how bashful I am, I told her I…
I have spent part of my day deleting photos in my phone. I’ve definitely been freewheeling when it comes to pictures. With at least 15%, I’ve thought to myself, “Self? Why did you think this was important? So important to take a picture of it, to begin with, and then store it for ten years?” My cloud started in 2014. I suppose the ones prior to then are gone forever. I’m not very sad about it. Cellphone picture quality was definitely lacking back in those days. Plus, it was occasionally difficult coming across a few of those captured memories. I don’t need to go back further. And what if we had to take these pictures to be developed? What a waste. I had screenshots of paid bills, houses on Instagram, recipes. Lord, at the recipes. And books! I didn’t delete those, I need to check them on my Goodreads account and make sure I’ve got them marked as ‘to-read’. Not that I’ll have time, of course. I’ll die before I get the ones read I’ve already got. But my google storage is full. And don’t get to talking crazy, saying I could delete the videos of my dog. I need those. So I’m gonna have to keep whittling after this. I bought one of those external storage devices a couple of years ago, but it doesn’t pull everything for some reason. And I might need to access…
Far easier to write a spot of poetryThan to put a favorable spinOn washing clothes dishes and windowsMore romantic to write ofThe stars Candlelight Books in bedNothing much has happened to me todayBut I did get to see a sunriseAnd a sunsetAnd one happy dog in betweenI did talk to a friend for two hoursAnd wish we were closer togetherI did eat some mini Nilla wafersOutside while the sun warmed meAnd I will soon sink into My library chairWith a library bookI will continue to be thankfulFor hot waterAnd indoor plumbingAnd creature comfortsAnd try not to worry About the health of those I loveInstead I will trod on my pathAnd drink more waterAs an example It is still winterAnd will be for some timeBut I am restingAnd I am content In my cocoon of worn furniture and floorsI can wonder what it’s like To be someone elseTo be somewhere elseWithout wanting toI can contemplate what may happenOr I can wait and seeGo blindly forwardWith no expectations Because that often ends in disappointment I like to think If I had a helicopter Things would be easier But I thinkI’d have trouble with maintenance And waiting on it to warm upBefore I could fly away So I better stay here on the groundWith my dreamsAnd just be glad I was given rootsInstead of feathersBecause it’s better not to have any quitThan to be taken for a whirlOn a fleeting breezeI may not be able to do sums in my…
Another pretty perfect day in the books. I took the day off #1. Because I wanted to, and #2, because I had a hair appointment right in the middle of the day. Hair appointments in the middle of the day are either dang inconvenient or a perfect excuse, depending on how you wanna look at it. Today it was a perfect excuse. It was a brilliantly beautiful day, the sun giving it its all. And about time! February is really showing January how it’s done. And today is Whistlepig Day. I have it on good authority that spring will be arriving shortly, and I don’t think anybody’s mad about that. I’ll tell ya somethin’ else I ain’t mad about, and that’s these white chocolate craisin cookies Angela gave me last night. The only problem is she didn’t give me a wheelbarrow load. Which wouldn’t be good for my sugar but ahhh…I’ll worry about that later. I didn’t tell y’all about them last night because I was afraid y’all are hoodlums and would break in on me and eat them. But that worry is unfounded now, because you’d have to break into my stomach to get them currently 😁 So I lolled about this morning, doing Wordle in bed (4), ate my leftover ribs, and got the salon only four minutes late. I know, I’m terrible. I’m usually right on time. There was a lady there…
Today was a good day. It’s been awhile since I’ve been able to write about a wholly good day. Not that I ever have much to complain about, but you know how you get in a funk for one reason or another. It started with a visit from Sam and catching up with him, which was nice. The daily phone calls wear on me, but he hasn’t been calling and I haven’t seen him since our Christmas meeting, so we were due to catch up. He’s expecting another grandbaby any day. He asked after Chester, as always, and I showed him the picture I snapped this morning while I was curled up next to him having my coffee. The handymen from Grainger County were there this morning spraying insulation. They are always so friendly. I wish I had them on retainer for my house. It had already warmed up substantially by the time they were packing up their tools to go. Made me think I should definitely look into this for my house. Add that to the list. After tires and gradework. I’d had my coffee this morning but hadn’t ever gotten around to breakfast, so I ate my leftover Arby’s. If I had known what lay ahead, I would have eaten a lot more. A field visit to my favorite person in the whole wide world’s farm was scheduled for one o’clock so I invited myself, pulled my muck…
The end of January, hallelujah. It’s skunk season and every night about this time Chester is dying to go outside. I know exactly what he’s after; does he think I’m ignorant? He lays at the door and does big deep sniffs and growls and barks his Alert II bark, which is, “There’s something out here, friend or foe, I don’t know, let me out immediately.” And I don’t and he huffs and sulls up on the couch. I don’t like drawing people out. I’m not going to play games about if you’re mad at me and don’t call, I will notice, but I won’t care. If you’re mad enough to do that, man up and call and tell me why you’re miffed at me and give me an opportunity to apologize. If not, it’s likely that I don’t know that I’ve angered you. Like most people, I’m happy-go-lucky in my own little dimension. If I did it on purpose, well, may the Lord be with you. I wanted to write about something serious and thought provoking tonight but I’m sort of skittish about wading into those dark waters. I just know I’d be off down the rabbit hole and probably neck deep before I knew it and too late to turn back because I’d be having all the right words and prose and it would be too good…
I think I’m gonna start writing fantasy. Because people sure do love running their mouths. So maybe if I write something clearly so fictional they’ll at least look incredibly stupid to people they repeat it to. Why are people so invested in one another’s love lives? It brings to mind Taylor Swift. Who freaking gives a hoot who her boyfriend is? And if he’s a football player, shouldn’t she be at the games, cheering him on? I thought that was kinda the point of being in a relationship— a show of support. Or have I missed the point entirely of what people are griping about? I don’t know, and I also haven’t figured out the rage over Stanley cups. I think they’re kinda ugly, and wasn’t Yeti the thing to have? I’m so confused. I just wanna go crawl in a cave and read poetry to my dog. I could use another foot of snow…as long as my power stays on. Anyway, how are y’all? I’m feeling disgruntled, thanks for asking. I need a big dose of GRACE, because my fuse is running very short on a lot of subjects lately. Or maybe it’s running low on certain people. I’m just glad I’m not in retail anymore because it’s just a matter of time before I turn into the main character in a slasher movie. *melting emoji* Just kidding. I can’t afford…
