Day 11: Your Current Relationship. If Single; Discuss That Too

I check the status box that says Married.

Finally. I mean, 33 isn’t exactly old maid age in the grand scheme of things, but in the South you might as well be dead & buried.

I won’t bore you to tears with “our story” But here’s the high points:

• It was love at first sight for me. He came in to buy dog food & I was smitten

• Our first date he picked up hitchhikers who were hiking the AT & we dropped them off in Gatlinburg Then we went hiking (no makeup, no painful shoes, no fancy clothes= AWESOME) & to Texas Roadhouse, where I told him that if he was expecting me to be the type of girl who orders a salad, he was severely mistaken. I ordered barbeque chicken

• I don’t call him Shug because he’s sweet. It’s a brand of chardonnay.

• When I was losing my mind over all the wedding details, he didn’t understand what the big deal was. His exact words: “Just find you a dress, & get your girls, & we’ll find someplace to get married. It ain’t no big deal.” Which really caused me to go ballistic.

• My family likes him better than they like me. My uncle says if I divorce him, he’s welcome to come live at his house. He can have the whole downstairs. Uncle Dale refers to him as my “Mexican” because he works tirelessly.

• We’re enough alike in our political beliefs to get along, but Johnny is smarter than me. He keeps up with it. I’m not programmed to remember what candidates believe in what, or what happened when. Johnny is a history buff.

• We both love to read, & most evenings at our house we don’t talk much. Most people, upon entering, would think we were mad at each other.

• He is probably one of the top ten funniest people I’ve ever known

• I don’t know how I got so lucky & blessed.

Married life is not what I expected. I figured, by the way everyone talked, it was pure misery. So I was scared. We do our own thing when we’re home together; thankfully we have enough space to spread out. He helps me with laundry, finances, my mental health, & occasionally dishes. He doesn’t say a word when I order books or some fabulous jewelry (But who would smart off to a built-in biscuit & gravy maker, chicken fryer, & toilet paper stocker?). I won’t tell you that you should get married. I WILL tell you to find someone that you can’t stop thinking about, that makes you cry happy tears, that treats you with respect & tenderness. And now I’ll stop before I make myself cry. My nose is burning.