She’d be texting me to see if I had any storm damage.

She’d tell me I could stand with her at the service today.

She’d ask if I had lunch plans for afterwards.

If I was going to be late for work or take the day off for sickness or errands, it was imperative I inform my chairman, my secretary, my DC, my Cynthia, and my Susan. Because if I didn’t, I’d have a text at 8:15 asking if I was okay. This is why we called her Momma Hen. When I went on vacation, I texted her to let her know I’d arrived in one piece.

Do you know how many times in the past week I’ve caught myself about to text her?

There is great comfort in knowing the people you love are safe and their whereabouts, knowing precisely where they are. I know with absolute certainty where Susan is.

I don’t know why she loved me and took care of me, other than she’s a good Christian woman. We had next to nothing in common– I don’t know nothin’ ’bout birthin’ no babies or raisin’ ’em. I don’t can my own vegetables or show cows and I can’t sew a button on a shirt, let alone crochet an entire blanket. Basically, I ain’t scared to be lazy and Susan didn’t know the meaning of the word.

Sitting in the pew last night, there was a man sitting in front of me that I couldn’t place. I thought, if I was Susan, I’d just tap him on the shoulder, introduce myself and ask. But I ain’t Susan.

Susan could be depended on for many things. She taught by her actions, not her words. She wasn’t one to cram religion down your throat; she wore her cross on a chain as a quiet reminder of her salvation. She would always pray before taking a bite. I’m no good at praying out loud, especially before a group. She never hesitated to say the blessing in a crowded room. She was one who only saw the good in people, but would listen peacefully whenever I found fault in others but not judge me for it.

Bless her.

Sarah got up and sang last night. I admire her for it. I can write and share my words with y’all but to open my mouth and make a joyful noise unto the Lord? To praise and worship? To sing while my best friend lay in a box before me? You’d need a mop because I’d just melt away. But Sarah did a beautiful job and I’m so thankful she was able to. I have never attended a busier funeral. We were shoulder to shoulder in every pew. A testament of the life Susan spent devoted to loving others so well. She showed us how to love because she showed up in life for us. She stopped by for a chat whenever she was in the area. She sent jokes and memes on Messenger (ask me to forward you the last one I sent her– it was of our Patron Saint Dolly!). She asked how my dog was and sent flowers on my birthday. I started to back out of my Bowling Green trip this weekend because it felt wrong to have fun. It wasn’t going to be easy, at any rate. But I thought, no, Susan was all about spending time with those she loved. I shouldn’t miss it. I couldn’t do anything here for her. It was the same for Thursday night when Kay said I needed to get out and get out of my head. And she wasn’t wrong, either.

I have laid to rest many members of my family over the years, several coworkers, and loads of customers. I’ve attended services when I didn’t know the one in the coffin, but I knew the family left behind to grieve.

But today I buried a friend.

She was not strictly a friend, she was a coworker, too, and even a customer from my years at Co-op. But above all, Susan Mottern was my friend. And I am so fortunate that I can say that. To be loved unconditionally is a gift and a blessing and I hope you have one, too. I hope you know who will hold your hand.

We buried my friend this morning in the rain. It didn’t matter. It rolled right off and when I lifted my head my tears mixed with the drops as I listened to the “amens” echoing through the crowd.

Today is National Farm Workers Day. As I’ve said, Susan was a worker. She didn’t care to get dirty, hot, and sweaty. She’d rather be outside doing what needed to be done than inside cleaning windows. We needed the rain. I like to think Susan sent it. She’s still working for the farms, y’all. She’s still keeping watch over us all. And good thing, because I sure ain’t fit to see about my own self today.

Tomorrow I’ll go back to work and I’ll look for her green dot out of habit, to check in and see what was for breakfast and how much rain she got. Because that’s what we did. We checked on each other. Because that’s what friends do.

Thankfully, I have many friends out there, because you all have checked on me the last few days. I met some new friends last night and saw many, many old ones. It was so good to see everybody turn out for Susan. I tell you who would have liked it better than anybody- the one it was for. She always did enjoy visiting and catching up. I hate she missed this one. It was a real hum-dinger.

Y’all bow and pray for the ones still here, navigating this life without her. Please.