I have been out of sorts For quite some time nowIf they were something I could buyI would simply place an industrial sized boxRight there in my cart, In a proprietary wayAnd steadily push them to checkout Whereupon my sorts would be fully restoredI would make sure I had plenty for backupBecause when you’re outWellIt’s quite an inconvenience to acquire them againBut one cannot buy sorts ~Amazon doesn’t even sell them~And no one can loan you theirs until yours reappear And you can’t even rent themSorts must be carefully tendedAnd treated with respect(maybe even assertively)Because sorts appreciate directnessYou have to establish expectations Such asDo not cry in front of all these strangersStraighten your back and look pleasantAct like you’ve met the Queen loads of times beforeSorts are no-nonsenseThey’re really not much fun at allNow that I think about itBut they do make me believe my clothes look passableAnd help me remember why I got upAnd how to carry on a conversation without driftingOh, and how I should eat more than just crackers and an appleSorts are great for all thatBut while I wait for my sorts to replenish themselvesLike red blood cellsI’ll just pet my dogAnd try to concentrate on what you’re sayingAnd laugh when everybody else doesAnd smile with my eyesAnd read more than five pages a dayAnd try not to remember Before…