Resolve to Write 2024 #105

When my dog was dying
And I was conflicted
About easing his way
I was told not to rush
That he would let me know
There would be signs
I would know when

And some time later
After multiple frantic trips
To the vet
For treatment
After agonizing breaths
After deterioration of spirit
After one sleepless night

I decided I wouldn’t wait on The Sign
I wouldn’t wait for The Look
I had a Brain
And I could determine
Together with my eyes
That he was suffering
And he wasn’t getting better

When there are more bad days than good
It is time
Even though he ate a biscuit
Just that morning
Even though he trotted to the car
In anticipation of a road trip
Even though
He didn’t want to get out at the vet

There was dignity in his passing
Because
It was time
And it hurt till it didn’t
But I knew it was the right thing
To do by him
For him

And now
When I look back at pictures
And I see his pleading eyes
I just hope
I didn’t wait too long
As I wasted time
Looking for a sign
When the truth was right in front of me
The whole time