I am so thirsty
And I am mad at the rain

I am also mad at myself for a variety of reasons
I can tell you
Never ask me to dress you
Because today I wore navy pants
With a black top
And black shoes
And the heck of it is
I had the navy pants on yesterday
With a navy and coral top
But the pants looked black
So I changed 
But today
When we had a break in the rain
I walked outside 
And saw that my black pants
Were navy
And this would have never happened 
If it hadn’t been raining
And that is one reason 
I am mad at the rain
And mad at myself 

I am weak
Powerless 
Evidently my body has decided 
I can survive on three hours of sleep
Or maybe five 
But not eight
My gut has also declined 
Any rhythm 
My teeth would like their say
But they are clenched together
And my heart can’t do anything but pound
So with all that going
My lungs think they should puff rapidly
To match the chaos

So I have come home
On this miserable day
And lit a candle
And rubbed velvet ears
And wrote a poem
To try to curb my rage
Without a liquid aid
And I’m doing quite a bit better
Even if I can’t reconcile 
Who I am now
The wind howls
And so do I 
At least the coyotes are curled up 
And silent

If you came here 
Expecting me to cheer you up
As always
Perhaps you should ask your jester
What you can do for them sometime 
It’s not always butterflies
I cannot force a grin
I know my eyes are sad
And my tongue has been lethal as of late

What if it gets easier
Instead of harder

Love from Appalachia,

~Amy