The Pollening has begun. And it’s all the Bradford Pears fault. I feel itchy and gross.

I was told today that people relate to my writing and like it because it’s real. I’m not trying to make it seem like my life is unicorns and sparkles all the time. I’m not gonna just write about the highlights and lead you to believe I’m having this perfect experience in life. No, that’s not my style. I’m tripping, I’m slipping, I’m falling, I’m spilling, I’m making a mess and causing a hazard everywhere I go. And right now I feel like I might have a touch of food poisoning to go along with my allergies. I sure hope not, lots of things to do tomorrow and I need to be in tip-top supportive mode and able to make sound decisions.

So speaking of fake, and I may have written about this before, but these books that everybody claims to have read…I’m reading 1984 right now and it’s slow going for me because it’s a mass market paperback edition so the print is small and it’s not very comfortable to hold. I never thought I’d be on the e-reader bandwagon but these things are great for indoor reading when you have low light. I also like the built in dictionary. Very handy. But I haven’t found a way to avoid the glare when reading outside, so in the summer I usually keep two books going: an inside book and an outside book. But, in the winter, there’s no need. But back to these books everybody supposedly read and adores.

For starters, the Bible.

I ain’t buyin’ it. No, no, I believe in the word. I have trouble believing so many people have read it cover to cover. Maybe over the course of your life you have studied it through sermons and Sunday school lessons, but no, I don’t believe the majority of people who claim to have read it sat down and read it straight through as you would read a novel. Nope.

Then we have the classics. Your Dickens, your Hemingway, your Fitzgerald. The Alchemist, Moby Dick, War & Peace or whatever other tome you think makes you look superior. I may possibly judge you *lifting eyebrows* that you would waste time on a 1000+ page book, but you still can’t use the correct version of there, their, or they’re. Or maybe weather and whether. Or then or than.

I’m stopping before y’all start throwing long division at me. Or perhaps simple arithmetic. ‘Cause I suck, I’ve got no lies to tell.

Anyway. Came across this article right off when I googled “what are the most popular books people claim to have read?”

I’m not surprised.

https://tysonadams.com/2019/12/11/the-top-10-books-people-claim-to-read-but-havent-2/

I used to lie about Little Women and Jane Eyre but several years ago I set out to read the classics and got to several of them. Rebecca was my hands down favorite and I felt like I hit A Tree Grows in Brooklyn and To Kill a Mockingbird too late in life to really appreciate them. Never cracked the spine on Little Women. Maybe this year. Really, I’d rather just read Gone With the Wind again. Or maybe Lonesome Dove.

I gotta go to bed so my dog can get some rest. He’s snoring and every time I get up he gives me this look like I’ve betrayed him. Never mind I’m the one going off to work every day so he can have kibble in his bowl and a stuffed dinosaur to disembowel while he lays around freeloading.

I shouldn’t presume. He may have run off a dozen potential robbers today, I wouldn’t know. Anyway. Just remember I’m always happy to talk books with you or try to recommend something. I was talking to a friend today and I was once again disappointed in myself that I didn’t participate in Lent this year. I thought about it but never committed to anything. I had intended to cut out all excess spending (that would have included all meals out) but let’s be real. I am not going to do without my weekly (…or bi-weekly) Bo-rounds. Or candles. Or a new cute top. Or something for Chessie. But I could have went to ol’ faithful and given up Facebook. And I’d be better for it. Because lemme tell you, comments on public pages are not good for my blood pressure. It’s like eating from a salt shaker while driving in Atlanta traffic. No good.

Ok. Goodnight. Happy reading.

Love from Appalachia,

~Amy