I have spent part of my day deleting photos in my phone. I’ve definitely been freewheeling when it comes to pictures. With at least 15%, I’ve thought to myself, “Self? Why did you think this was important? So important to take a picture of it, to begin with, and then store it for ten years?” My cloud started in 2014. I suppose the ones prior to then are gone forever. I’m not very sad about it. Cellphone picture quality was definitely lacking back in those days. Plus, it was occasionally difficult coming across a few of those captured memories. I don’t need to go back further.

And what if we had to take these pictures to be developed? What a waste. I had screenshots of paid bills, houses on Instagram, recipes. Lord, at the recipes. And books! I didn’t delete those, I need to check them on my Goodreads account and make sure I’ve got them marked as ‘to-read’. Not that I’ll have time, of course. I’ll die before I get the ones read I’ve already got.

But my google storage is full. And don’t get to talking crazy, saying I could delete the videos of my dog. I need those. So I’m gonna have to keep whittling after this. I bought one of those external storage devices a couple of years ago, but it doesn’t pull everything for some reason. And I might need to access the pictures on my phone, not my laptop. So it’s a process. A very slow, time consuming process. Like everything else.

In other words, I have wasted this whole entire day.

And to salvage it now, by imparting some lovely words, torn from my very gut, is not going to happen. All I can do is think about the things I have to get done this week. Ugh. Whyyyyy did I put off my oil change? Time to start thinking about taxes. Of course I’ll probably wait on those till the rush dies down. Why am I such a procrastinator? I have got to get by the grocery store. I have both boards this week. Double ugh. Not that they’re awful, it’s just something else. When I could be reading my book. Outside. Because it’s supposed to be gorgeous all week.

I was thinking about the grocery store today. They’ve got us ringing up and bagging our own groceries. I guess this is how the pumping your own gas started. But the difference is, they don’t offer a discount for ringing up yourself. And it makes me positively rabid. Especially when I have $200 worth and no registers are open. I mean, registers with cashiers. I have a friend who has started ringing up produce for the cheapest one available. She calls it her employee discount. I don’t think my conscience would let me, but honestly, I get it. Of course, that’s just more shrinkage and costing us all. Maybe I’m just mad I didn’t think of it myself.

A poem now.

One day
She won’t answer 
One day
She won’t care
One day 
The ears will be deaf
And you’ll be alone
With your thoughts
And complaints
And a whole list of things to share
How long will it take you to realize
She’s not at your beck and call
That time is more valuable than money
And you think there’s plenty to spare
Just because you don’t ask
What’s happening 
And it isn’t volunteered
Squeezed in between your news
Doesn’t mean nothing is
And sometimes she wants more effort 
Than just an open ended question
And those are few and far between anyway
After all
You were hurt
Not to know
Before everybody else
But there’s rarely time
When you’re rushing about
With your own life
Prioritize 
What you think is steadfast
Because nothing is
No matter what

He looks for himself there
And he shouldn’t find it
Because he calls
He texts
He visits
He asks
He apologizes
It is not about him
It is not a lesson for him
Rest easy
And grin
You’re here instead

We all want attention, and we want it worst from the people we love best. Attention from strangers means very little. Just like dogs. They want attention from their masters, everybody else is just frills. Any companion desires attention. Are you giving the people you love in your life enough? If you asked them, would they agree? What is your love language? Does it come naturally to you or do you have to work at it? Do you have a different way of showing your love to your family than you do your best friend? Do you show your spouse in various ways but your mother only one? I’m genuinely curious. My bestie’s one and only is gifts, no matter who. Mine is quality time, because I treasure it so. You can see where this is a problem between Lisa and I. I am also an Acts Of Service person, probably because this is also a gift of time. I don’t want touched except from people I’m dating 🤣 so that’s a safe one. If you’re showing me through quality time and acts of service, I don’t necessarily need the words of affirmation. I mean yes, it’s nice, I want to hear you love me, but I’d rather you show me than tell me.

So let’s see, I’ve solved some world problems tonight, looks like. The nonexistent cloud that is supposedly full, the downfall of service in grocery stores, and how to show me love. Ah well. It’s almost Generated Love Day so maybe it’ll help you there. I loathe and detest Valentines Day. Fat Tuesday is the day before, so that’ll be something to look forward to on the meantime.

Love from Appalachia (hey, this can be counted as quality time AND words of affirmation!),

~Amy