Faulkner wrote “As I Lay Dying” and I’m inclined to pen “As I Lay Trying to Sneeze”. I love to sneeze, but they’re so hard won for me. Conditions have to be precisely right: no noise, must have plenty of bright light, and nobody looking at me. So generally I can only find release at home. I can sneeze in front of Chester.

Today has been a very satisfying day all around, even without adequate sneezes. I got most of my Christmas cleared away, I just lack the big tree. I got laundry caught up, but I’ll have to sweep, dust, and mop tomorrow. I fixed those little hot ham ‘n cheese sliders for lunch and was quite pleased with them until Kevin started sending me pictures of his chicken & waffles and later, prime rib. To be so nice, he sure can be a jerk. But to be fair, he did invite me up. He’ll be sorry if I ever get a helicopter.

I’m wondering about something and want your take, as I don’t have the experience to answer it myself. Feel free to text or private message via Facebook. I can’t promise you I’ll answer an email on here; I’m not sure what I did with my passwords. Yes, I know I’m supposed to just have them stored in my noggin, but get real.

Do you think anyone knows your spouse better than you?

Obviously the longer you’re married the better you’ll know each other. Well, maybe not….I see plenty of couples who are almost like strangers. All you gotta do is look around any restaurant. One, if not both, are usually on their phones. And not just on it, lost in it. Driving down the road, same thing. I know my best friend knows me better than my ex husband did. And no, that’s not why he’s an ex. But Lisa and I shared so much more history…and she cared more about a lot of things that he just didn’t concern himself with. And same for me, his formative years were as foreign to me as raising a child. I’ve always found myself rolling my eyes when I see those wedding invitations that say, “Today I marry my best friend”. I’m a firm believer in needing a best friend that isn’t your spouse. #1. Because you’re gonna need someone to complain to about them. And #2. There’s some stuff that the opposite sex just won’t get. Be it cramps, or trying a new recipe, or how you’re lusting over a pair of shoes, you’re gonna need a bestie. And sometimes you just need a sounding board. If you’re lucky, you’ll have a very honest best friend to rein you in when your crazy starts escalating to a detrimental stage.

I told a good friend today that I wish he could find a strongly opinionated woman to date, because most women seem to be scared to argue with him and it ends in disaster. He coasts along oblivious, and then bam, things are not fine and he’s thunderstruck. But to be fair, the women haven’t given fair warning, or at least not in words he can understand. I told him I didn’t know why nobody argues with him, I kind of enjoy it, myself. But I also don’t live with him so it’s easier to be truthful and voice my opinion without fear of The Pout. But I wouldn’t put up with that for long, either, so here we are.

I guess I’m just saying communication really is everything. I feel like the people who know me best are the ones I’ve known the longest and talk to the most, on a daily basis. We talk about the big things, the little things, the mundane, and the stupid. We’re just woven into each other’s lives. I read something once about how the person you love should know how you take your coffee and your mixed drink, and they always know when to bring which one. Or something like that. That’s a little thing, but it’s true. I think of pure love as how strongly I feel about my dog. Of course he’s never told me he loves me, but he shows me daily: he’s always happy to see me, he is always near and loves spending time with me, he likes to sit beside me, he protects me, he makes me laugh. All without saying a word. True love is caring about someone else’s happiness more than you do your own. And you can’t do that if you’re selfish. You can’t love if you’re guarding your heart. I think you have to be open with your feelings, even if you’re scared you’re gonna get trampled. You might be surprised to learn they’ve just been dying for you to say it first. I don’t know that love is work, because if you do what you love, you should be enjoying it. Love is sometimes about sacrifice: sacrificing your time and your feelings. And the longer I’m around, the more I believe in the Five Love Languages. I’m all about Acts of Service. But I still want to be touched and told how much I mean to them.

I hope our chances at love never run out. I hope it’s never too late. I hope that everyone understands that “matters of the heart are often complicated”. My good friend Emily said that to me awhile back and it nearly knocked me off my feet. They sure are. The only cure for love is to love more…and if you just can’t find it in your thumpin’ gizzard to love another human, go rescue a dog. They’re easy to love and they rarely argue. (Just when it’s time for heartworm preventative. And they’ll take it, eventually. Out of love.) And they are SO appreciative. You never have to wonder if they love you.

Go forth, be blessed, and try to spread some love or at least good cheer.

And if you can’t do that, learn a joke and tell it. People love to laugh. I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but y’all didn’t like it.

Love from Appalachia,

~Amy