I sat on the porch today, watching birds.

It wasn’t like I didn’t have anything else to do. But I like to watch birds. I’ve thought many times, as no doubt many of you have, about what it would be like to fly. More specifically, what it would be like to be a bird. In the past, I’ve thought I would most like to be a hummingbird. They’re fast, they’re tiny, they’re brilliantly colored, everybody likes them, and they hover like a helicopter and can fly backwards. Lots of friendly people feed them sugar water, which, I imagine, is the avian equivalent of Mountain Dew. This all sounds quite ideal to me.

However, I have been giving this more thought. Hummingbirds have to fly south for winter. That’s a long way for such a little bird. And I don’t hear them do a lot of chirping. Which made me think about the mockingbird. Mockingbirds aren’t stuck with one birdsong throughout their lives. They’re gifted and continuously chatter with over twenty different voices. As much as I like to talk, this would be peerless. And, as an added bonus, they’re the state bird. But then I got to feeling guilty, because about the time I landed on being a mockingbird, the barn swallows showed up, calling and darting through the sky, chasing bugs. I love swallows so much, enough to get one tattooed on my forearm. I especially love them because they eat 60 mosquitoes a minute. And I LOATHE mosquitoes. So really, I owe them my highest honor. I should be a barn swallow. They’re sleek, they’re graceful, they’re fearless, and man, are they fast! They’re also messy and careless and I think their young sorta hafta fend for themselves pretty quick. So that suits, too. And I’m under the impression they’re always just a little bit irritated….you can divine whatever you want to from that.

Which leaves one last bird that I truly adore. The bluebird. But they work way harder than I want to and are truly devoted to their young. So that’s out. You ever sat and watched them? All they do is flutter around, gathering material for their nests, then once they’re hatched off they work themselves to death constantly hunting food to feed them. No, thank you. I need some Me Time. A little leisure.

So there you have it. How I wasted at least one full hour today. Because I watched birds three separate times on two different porches on this day.

Tomorrow I’ll probably do it again. I’m a world-class porch sittin’ Southerner, and proud of it. My porch isn’t perfect, the concrete needs redone, or at the very least it needs to be painted, but it serves its purpose. I wish it was screened in, or even had a roof that extended to the edge so I could have one of those cool palm frond fans, but it doesn’t. It doesn’t have a swing or rocking chairs anymore, but it does have plastic chaise lounges and a table for your beverage. It has a good view of the road and usually, there are a few lizards running around for entertainment. It’s not so bad. I like to watch my flag wave and admire the redbuds I planted 11 years ago out by the fence.

So, even though quarantine is pretty much lifted, today I sat on my porch and I watched birds.