Gulp.
Probably not ever. The first thought I had was my relationship with God. I talk a big game but I’ve not had my derriere in a pew for many moons. He may forgive me, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try harder. My list of sins is extensive.
Then I thought back on the days when I trained people at Co-op. “Now, this is how you’re supposed to do it, but I do it this way because it’s faster, but don’t do as I do, do as I say.” But I guess it all worked out, they kept throwing me new people like fish to a Sea World dolphin.
I hope that everybody knows where they stand with me. I like to think I have honest relationships and if we’re good enough friends we can have an adult conversation and work out a disagreement. Especially if it’s someone I’ve known for 22 years. It’s a struggle to understand being dropped after that kind of history, but it happens. And you just have to let them go.
Nothing makes me madder than making plans with someone and they drop you last minute, or worse, don’t show up. I don’t know why you would commit to doing something if you had no intention of following through. It’s a big deal to get me out of the house on Sunday. But if I tell you I’ll be there, by George, take it to the bank. Ray Ball once told a man in my line that if I tell you it’s Easter, you better start hunting eggs. I understand that life gets in the way sometimes, but I’ve found that it’s traditionally the same people who will stand you up over and over. And they’re typically the ones whining they never get to see you, or need a night out. As you can imagine, I have a hard time sympathizing.
If I say those three little powerful words, you better believe I mean it. I don’t throw out that kinda verbiage to just anybody. And there are different degrees to my love, of course. I don’t love my friends the same way I love cupcakes. I don’t love my dog the same way I love takeoffs in airplanes. I don’t love books the same way I love hearing you say you love me. But I still love all of these things.
People can tell you they love you romantically, but if they don’t check on you, if they don’t tell you to get home safe, if they don’t put their hand on the small of your back to steady you…if they don’t reassure you of their love regularly in some small ways…then trust their actions, not their words.
Love cannot be bought. Love has to be shown. And food is a great indicator of love. Especially if it’s homemade.
I suppose we’re all human and prone to mistakes and oversights and breaking hearts. Life is challenging, but it’s also exhilarating and sometimes tragic. It will pass. There will be many dips and curves and screeching halts. And maybe that’ll help us notice how much sweeter it makes the high times. That’s where appreciation is born.
Go forth, and be merry!
Love from Appalachia,
~Amy
