I met her at the library, so I knew instantly she was good people.

She looked like a mom, but turns out I was wrong about that.

She looked like she knew about life, and I was right about that.

We have gone on to be cohorts in crime, obsessive texters, and foodies from the get-go. We share book recommendations and pretty much the same taste in music. She does listen to a podcast about small town murders that I haven’t been able to enjoy on the same level. It’s pretty grim, Karen. 😐 We challenge each other to spin more, drink less, and not be assholes.

We are known as sloth & honey badger. Baker is gazelle.

We tell terrible (politically incorrect and inappropriate) jokes, modify our yoga poses, and share a common interest in dogs, cupcakes, and men. Probably in that order.

I’m a problem creator~…well, that’s not precisely true. Problems gravitate to me and I think they’ll go away but they only get worse and then I have to ask Beth for advice and she just calmly untangles the whole mess and folds it up and places it in a Rubbermaid box. With a label. And an expiration date.

She’s an accountant. I’m an artist, per se.

She’s the closest person I’ve got to a ride or die, because Lisa has kids and lives two hours away and Baker is busy busy busy. Sometimes we just talk about riding and dying, we don’t actually do it. But thinking about it is almost as fun.

I feel like I’ve known her my whole entire life. Sometimes you make more memories in a year than you do in ten years with somebody else.

Cheer up, bitch! It’s your birthday!!