Namaste.

I’ve had this eye twitch for some time now. It’s really an aggravation. Everybody asks what I’m stressed about, and while I could give you one big reason, it’s not really a reason at all. Time marches on. And as Dolly says, you’ll soon realize it’s marching right across your face.

About a year ago, I attended a book signing at my favorite library. Well, that’s a bit of a lie. My favorite library is my personal library here at home, followed by Biltmore’s library. So, my third favorite library. But don’t tell Rhonda!!! I picked my seat next to a friendly looking stranger. I pegged her as a mom, stealing a few hours away from her kids. She seemed intelligent and normal enough.

Turns out, I chose wisely, even if I didn’t read her life right.

Today, I count her among my three closest friends. It’s amazing how you can bond with people when they’re open and honest and quite literally THERE for you. She is zero drama, 100% no judgment, and so funny I almost pee my pants every time we go out. She looks at me over those red rimmed glasses with her hair back in a knot, like, “Are you shittin’ me, Smalls?” I can quite clearly read her expression through text messages. I know by her pauses if there’s a punchline or a bombshell. And I know what she looks like as she reads these words.

Hi, Beth!

She’s the voice of reason when I’m going off the rails and she’ll talk me back down because murder is never a good idea. She has this great understanding of the world at large. No problem is too great; life is too short. She’s got a solution for every train wreck. I would definitely want her nearby in a crisis. I am so thankful we’re on this planet together. I can barely remember what my life was like before she entered it.

So today, I dedicate my Lent to Beth.

I’m a textbook worrier. And her request is to let go of worry. So today is another challenge for me. I’m trying to stay busy with some writing, reading, and virtual farming so my thoughts don’t have time to go a-wonderin’. I’m also attempting to watch where my thought pattern leads. It doesn’t take long for me to be a million miles away, down some rabbit hole of made up scenarios and have the sky falling.

Speaking of sky: I was stretching my neck and looking around the room where I write deciding about where I would put my old bookshelves and noticed a water stain on the ceiling. I’ve never had a water stain. This is troubling. But then I remembered, I am not to worry. I’m just gonna drag a ladder over to the corner of the house here and see what I can see. I can do that. I used to climb on my Mamaw’s roof all the time and sit up there and read with my cat.

So I did it. I think every pore on me was sweating, but I did it. I didn’t accomplish not one thing, unless you want to count not falling off the roof an accomplishment. I do. I didn’t find leaves in the gutter, surprisingly. I guess it’ll be okay. This old house….always so much to do to keep it from crumbling. I need to waterproof the basement walls again. I dread it. I hate painting. But no. That’s another worry and it will just have to be done.

It’s amazingly easy to let your thoughts run rampant. It doesn’t surprise me how often I have to rein myself back in. So I’m working on that.

In the meantime, I’m trying to send “positive vibes” into the atmosphere for Beth. She’s all about peaceful energy, things that spark joy, and creating space for good things to happen. She turned me onto yoga! And spin! Baker had been on me for eons to come to spin but I thought no way, I hiked with you, if you spin like you hike, I will die. Plain and simple. But Beth talked me down, talked me into coming, and essentially made it fun so we have something to whine about together while we try to better ourselves. And this yoga business, well, I’ve only been after it four days, but I can see how it changes people’s lives. Here’s a link to the first one I did- it’s super easy and short. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1097wYhDOY

But I’m a firm believer you have to be ready to change and want to do things differently before it will influence you. We’re all searching for more- a better understanding of people or the world at large. Explanations why good things happen to bad people and vice versa. I read once that we’re all a villain in someone’s story. That’s hard to think about. I know I have several enemies, but I don’t dwell on it, because I turned them lose the minute they showed their true colors. But back to yoga. It really does make you feel differently, both inside your head and out. You become aware. So I’m glad I’m doing it, along with practicing Lent. I’m trying to become a better me. With all the centered breathing and stretching you do, it almost feels like getting to your feet after a massage. I’m not kidding, it’s that good! And I’m probably not even doing half of it right, but I’m telling you, it’s beneficial. I was at my hairdresser’s yesterday and was talking to her about it. She wears an Apple watch and it dings reminding her to breathe. Now tell ME she wouldn’t benefit from some yoga! When your watch senses you’re not breathing deeply enough and it’s important enough to send you a notification, that seems fairly major. There’s a class right down the road from us that we may join. We’ll see. But maybe she’ll pick up the YouTube yoga I posted. Adriene will not steer you wrong!

While we’re sending cheerful thoughts out there for Beth, I also want to remember an associate of hers who is struggling with an addiction issue. She seeks wisdom through the wise Beth, but then brushes it off with those hurtful words, “You don’t know anything about it”. Well, as far as this chick knows, she’s right. But what she doesn’t know makes her so incredibly wrong. Beth has overcome so much adversity in her life, has risen above a thousand things that could have made her wither and die. It would be paralyzing to most of us. But she made a conscious decision to go on, to be better, to find her path. It makes me angry to think of how that girl disregarded some sound advice from a loving friend. But…. it’s not my job to worry! I’m turning that over to the Lord as well.

So join me in praying for Beth, to bring her peace and more wisdom so she can bestow it on those who are smart enough to listen to her. Send her some energy for all these spin classes and some discernment for dealing with people who are just out to drain her. She’s an expert at dealing with catty women, but her heart is soft for people who need help. While we’re at it, I’m going to pray for that sort-of neighbor of hers, who is battling alcoholism. Actually, she’s not battling it at all, she’s fully embracing it while in the back of her mind knows she needs to claw her way out. I pray she reaches for the rope Beth has cast her. I pray she comes around before she loses something that can never be regained. I also want to send some prayers up for Beth’s bestie, whom I will not name, but just needs all the strength we can send her. That girl. I would have already run screaming stark naked into the woods, never to be heard from again. Lift all these ladies in prayer, if you would. They are all deserving of the rewards and promises of our Heaven and Lord.
Oh, and one more thing that I forgot to add so I’ve come back. Her sweet kitty Sage is getting up there in age and Beth needs a lot of kind thoughts to transition for when his time comes. She’s had him since he was a kitten, and he picked her. He picks her every time with his perfect (or should I say pawfect?) love. This cat has a good portion of her heart and it will be hard to let him go. You don’t get a pet thinking about that day, or you’d never be able to love them completely. So prayers for sweet, confident Sage as he goes on his journey too. Let it be easy. Lessen her pain, Lord. And bring them both peace. Thank you for putting this cat in her life, to help her through all the ups and downs and letting him be her constant. Thank you for the unconditional love of one of your creatures.

The window in front of where I write is open and it’s wonderful. I wanted to hike today, but I couldn’t find a soul to accompany me. See, this is why I struggle on beautiful days. I never have this problem on gloomy days. Nobody expects me to be active when it’s 36° and pouring the rain. But while I would be content to sit here and write all day, a part of me wants to climb House Mountain. It’s seventy and sunny and clear. After all this rain the ground would be springy and the streams would be running full tilt. You could see for miles with all the leaves off the trees, and wildflowers would be beginning to bloom. I could, technically, go alone. I used to all the time but I’m older now and also….I’ve been reading true crime. I’m not as brave as I once was. Maybe next week. Don’t tell the murderers.

So this was my Lenten journey today. Yaaaaaaaay, Beth!
Yay indeed.