{#262 The monologue of a serial killer before court on why he did it}

“It’s funny how you can see people, you know, and think how much better lookin’ they’d be dead. I mean, I get it, we’re supposed to wait on the wraith of God to strike ’em down, but I never was much none for patience….and this ol’ girl, she was on a bad road, y’know? In a bad way, doin’ bad things with bad people. And her little boy deserved better’n that, so I just waited one night, when she was comin’ up her walk, there, in them slutty shoes and that indecent dress you could see straight through, and she was a-rootin’ through ‘er bag for ‘er keys. And I was sittin’ there a-waitin’ crouched down real low-like beside them bushes and I just reached out and caught ‘er. She didn’t even get a chance to scream. That clothesline, hit was a good ‘un, paid six dollars for it up at the hardware…I knew it wouldn’t give till the job was done. Hit sure didn’ take long, neither. She had one of them real skinny necks you see on girls that do so many drugs. Her breath was right awful, though. I don’t know what she’d drunk or smoked but I tell you…woo! But hit didn’t take long. Didn’t take long. I drug her over to the road so that baby wouldn’t be the one to find her. She didn’t weigh hardly nothin’, her hair was all messed up and her makeup was all over her face but I didn’t care none. Live as a crack whore, die a crack whore.

“There was a time there, and I was sorry for what I did, yes, sir. I couldn’t hardly bear hit, I was a-goin’ to church and down on my knees a-prayin’ ever’ chance I got, but nothin’ would help. I’d done went too far. But I hadn’t got caught and they’s a lotta cleanin’ up to do in this town, yes sir, you wouldn’t know it, but a bunch of nasty people and drugs and I jest couldn’t stand it so my next one was this feller, wouldn’t worth nothin’, he was sellin’ to them kids over by the liberry- yes, ‘ats right! Right there by the po-lice station! They jest looked on, had bigger fish to fry, I reckon, so I thought I could take care of ‘im myself. So I did. I acted real cool like, like I was wantin’ to buy some, and we’s jest talkin’, like you & I is now, and I jest stuck ‘im. Put that blade right there in his side. Bout the time he realized what had happened, I eased it in his neck, right along here, and he was gone in a flash. Had to drag him a ways to the creek. Funny nobody really looks at two men when they just look poor. Nobody wants to see hit. But I took care of him, yessirree Bob.

“The next one wasn’t so easy. Nobody had fought me so far, see? It was like they knew they’s bad and had it comin’ and they’d just go along with me. But this feller, he’d seen times before, and he was a-kickin’ and a gougin’ and he liked to put my eye out. Hit was bloody for a week! But I’d seen him with some girls, you know. Girls. Little girls he didn’t have no business bein’ with so I thought, ‘ol buddy, I’ll take care of you and your ol’ nasty persuasions. Oh yeah. I did, but he didn’t like it none. Shore ’nuff. We’s out on that gov’ment prop-tee, out on the lake there, and I’d had my boat tied up, actin’ like I just come up to take a whiz and here he come, bangin’ through them woods like a Sasquatch, hollerin’ and goin’ on, tellin’ me to git the hell off his land. ‘Course, I wouldn’t gittin’ excited, I knew what was comin’ but he didn’t, and I just shot him, but I was low, and he kept a-comin’, screamin’ like he was a-dyin’, which I reckon he was-” (pauses to spit) “but I wanted to git it over with a-fore that little girl seen, and I knew she heard, that ol’ tarp wouldn’t nothin’ but to keep the squirrels out. He got to me and was a-wrestlin’ for my weapon, and I whooped him good and kicked his chin and that was that. I reckon that little girl run and got help. I hope she’s alright, and ain’t havin’ to have none of that ther-a-pee. She never told on me. She saw me, I know she did. She just wanted to git gone. I didn’t bother buryin’ him. I’d thought about draggin’ him over to the boat and out into the lake, I had some cinder blocks but I thought, eh, what the hell? They done gonna know he’s dead. And that little girl will wanna make sure he ain’t comin’ back for her nowhere but her nightmares. So I let him be. I wished the coyotes woulda got ‘im, though.”

Gets a far off look in his eye before he starts again.

“I worked alongside this ol’ boy….you could tell he thought he was better than ever’body else. He always had new tools and the best boots, you know. Oh, he kept his looks up, always eatin’ good and liftin’ weights…had him some nice guns and a right fine knife co-lection. He always looked real neat, you know, took pride in his appearance, had a fresh haircut ever’ Monday…well, his wife, she was a good woman, always cookin’ us treats, ‘specially ’round Christmas, you know. And she always remembered our names when she saw us, always had a smile on her face. She was just sweet as she could be, a good local girl. Well, that ol’ boy started runnin’ around on her and I jest couldn’t stand it. And it wasn’t even with some snazzy lookin’ lady, hit was this ol’ skanky girl none of us would have thought about tetchin’ with a ten-foot pole. She had a nasty mouth and a surly attitude, jest sick of life. You know, had some young’uns from diff’rent daddies, didn’t take care of none of ’em. That’s the worst, when the momma don’t even care bout takin’ care of her babies. That’s right sorry. So I took care of him. I just couldn’t stand by and know his wife was hurtin’ and him too stupid to even give a good Got Damn. He was up yonder, on the roof, and I was a-pointin’ out the smoke that the mill was puttin’ out, heavy that day, heavy enough that nobody was lookin’ at us, and I jest give ‘im a little shove, you know, and he just toppled on over. He didn’t even scream, but I heard his head pop when he hit the concrete and I thought hit was good enough for him, although I’da person’ly liked to’ve seen him suffer a little bit longer.

“Popped like a melon, hit did.

“I wanted to kill her too, but y’all got me first. She don’t deserve life, either. These people with these babies, that’s what really galls me. I shore am glad the Lord didn’t see fit for me to make none o’my own. I’da prolly killed a right smart more over my babies. Can’t stand no no-count niggers. And there’s white niggers, too, ‘fore you get all up in the air ’bout me sayin’ that word. Ever’body I killed had white skin. But they’s all worthless niggers.

“So, whatd’ya say about a little sweet tea ‘fore we git started? I’m right parched after all ‘is talkin’ you been makin’ me do….”