There’s a guy here in the office with me. He likes to talk. He will not stand still when he talks to me, he paces and peers outside and is just a twitchy human. He likes to tell me stories about hunting. I’ve grown up listening to hunting stories, and I tire of them easily. However, we don’t have anything in common so as long as I let him ramble on about his turkey club (not that kind) and camper, I don’t have to come up with anything to say.

He’s trying to be nice, I get it. I’d rather hear about his skydiving adventures, but he’d rather talk about hunting. So.

He has also kept me up to date about this friend of his vacation progress. First he was coming to Pigeon Forge. Then they decided to go to Florida. Then the tropical storm hit, so they changed their plans back to here. So they all went out to eat last night (Holston’s, if you’re curious. I didn’t ask what they ordered, even though I really wanted to know). As he was telling this story, I wondered how he knew this guy. I remembered he’d told me, but I couldn’t recall how it was. And I couldn’t ask, because then he would know I hadn’t been paying attention, and so he’d never bother to tell me any more Turkey Tales and then here I’d be, struggling for conversation. When it could have all been avoided.

So I didn’t ask him how he met his friend, but now I’m a little nervous that he’s going to come in next year and he’ll say, “Remember my buddy that came in last year that we went out to eat with? He’s back in town,” and I’ll be anxiety ridden again, trying to recollect what he does for a living and how they met.

If only he’d be still I think I could concentrate.

Sometimes he closes his door. I don’t know if it’s so he can do his physical therapy (he’s got a broken wing) or if he’s on a super secret federal phone call. That can’t be it, because you’re not s’post to talk on the phone about secret stuff.

So I don’t know.

I wish he’d close it when he clears his throat and coughs nineteen million times.

I’m pretty sure he’s as bored as me. He often has his checkbook with him, like he’s been balancing it.