I didn’t want to go to work today. Sometimes I have an ominous feeling on the anniversary of September 11th, those are the days I keep my bug out bag within arm’s reach. Sometimes I’m despondent, dwelling on the lives lost starting with this fateful day through the War on Terrorism. And sometimes I’m just mad.

Today I was dejected, thinking about how useless it all is. And the hurricane, on top of all that. And yes, it could have been a lot worse, but is that how we’re going to live our lives? It was going to be dreary and wet and cold. So I just wanted to loll in bed and read, and kinda forget the rest of the world existed for one day. In short, I wanted to be selfish.

On this day. This day. THIS day.

The day when selfishness was banished from society in one of the hardest cities on Earth.

When strangers kissed on rooftops, thankful for their lives.

When emergency personnel rushed into burning, tumbling buildings just to save one more life, knowing they probably couldn’t save their own.

When the President of the United States of America kept reading to kindergarteners after receiving the worst news possible whispered in his ear.

So yeah, I could get out of bed. I could do this.

And so I drove to work, thinking about people in New York City and Washington 16 years ago who had probably been dreading going to work, another mundane day of pushing around papers, fighting over money, deferring to their superiors, and waiting on 5:00. People who were boarding flights for their next connection or destination.

All the while evil lurked beside them.

I thought about my day 16 years ago.

Have you forgotten? Or did you never know?

I understand now how my Grandmother’s generation carried distrust and hate for the Japanese their entire life. I understand why they got so emotional on the anniversary of Pearl Harbor. I know why it’s so frustrating for people to disregard and not honor our true heroes- the soldiers, the firemen, the police, the volunteers. The mourners.

I mourn to this day. I don’t know if I will ever stop.

And I wonder if in two hundred years, they will tear down our monuments. If they’ll want to eradicate the memory of the fallen. If they’ll say it’s too painful to remember and it’s not fair to the generations that dwell here now.

There’s a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes and I don’t know if it’s from the injustice or the anger or for the stupidity of our great nation.

I want y’all to think back. Take a minute and remember. Need some help? Remember the silence in the air. Remember the curfew. Remember your stricken heart as you called everyone you knew, double checking that their flight wasn’t today. Remember not wanting to drive too far from home. Remember gathering your children a little closer than normal, holding them just a little bit longer. Remember reading your Bible and finding comfort. Remember looking twice at those who had brown skin. Remember the flags and patriotism. Remember, remember, remember…

Thank you for remembering, America.

Now help someone else who doesn’t because who knows how the history books are gonna tell it when we’re gone.