You may or may not have noticed I’ve taken a brief hiatus from this blogging thing for a few weeks. As some people post every day day, I may have taken liberty with the word brief. Well, whatever, I’m on here now.

Here’s the thing: I dearly-as in truly, madly, deeply- love to write. But this blog sucks the enjoyment from it. I feel the need to have a topic, which was never an issue on Facebook, then the pressure of pictures-not just any ol’ snap-as-you-go shot, but a thoughtfully plotted and executed image that thoroughly summarized whatever the devil I’m waxing poetic about. Then the links. Dear Lord, the links. I’m an Amazon Affiliate, which means I get about half a cent from every dollar you spend on Amazon if you click via one of my oh-so-convenient links. You don’t have to buy what I’m advertising, but make your way to checkout from starting where I put you.

I haven’t made one red cent yet, so y’all ain’t bought nothin’. And they’re firing me.

Here’s the latest thing I want, in the event you feel sorry for me and want to buy me something to make me smile.  http://amzn.to/2mfTTYp See, I don’t even know how to do it, it’s supposed to have my words there…oh, bother.

I applied for Google Ads on the day I set this website up and they’ve been suspiciously mum on the subject. I think I got lost in the shuffle but I’m too lazy to contact them about it.

Then there’s the email. My well meaning readers have been asking where to sign up so that they don’t miss a word. That’s real sweet! However, it presents a new burden-I mean, pain in the as—I mean, challenge. You’d think it would be simple enough. And I suppose it is, if you know what you’re doing. Before doing anything, I have to figure out how to do it. Enter the WordPress forum, the bane of my existence, where they use all these technical terms for everything. Once I’ve waded through that (and screenshot the most helpful instructions) I understand I need to get a “plug-in”. Translation: App. I like the free ones, so MailChimp it is. Then you set up your account. No problem, other than time consuming. Then you select a template and transfer your stuff over. This is where I began my downward spiral. I need a new logo, a smaller one, more pictures, but then to understand where I want “negative” space not to overwhelm the reader. Then my message, with title, in the desired font and size. I didn’t get very far, after I realized this was just for a test audience, that was compiled of emails I add. And then they only send it to a selected few of those. I never understood that part, either.

Without going into further boring details, I gave up after learning that I needn’t have acquired an email service, as I already had one, but I didn’t even click into that mess to see what I lacked.

So I am reminded of all these inadequacies when I manage to open my blog (Another feat in itself, as my computer restarts after so many days of inactivity, therefore logging me off. So I have to Google how to get back in to my own website.) You can see where I have become frustrated.

So here I am, reading all weekend to hopefully make goal of 60 books this year. It doesn’t sound like a lot, but when was the last time you knocked out over a book a week? Yeah. And all I want to do when it’s this cold is eat. And I’ve done quite a bit of that this weekend, as well.

So that’s where I’m at.

I’ve given up Facebook for Lent, and let me tell you, I sure do feel lonely without telling y’all every little aspect of my day and flittering random thought that floats through my brain. It’s a wonder I haven’t exploded. In place of Facebook, I have been devoting a few hours to TV. It’s a fresh new diversion for me, and I’ve recently been familiarized to Swamp People. If I understand correctly, they were the predecessors to Duck Dynasty. And I luuuuurve DD. I like Swamp People. I like Troy. I kinda like ‘a way he talks, ya? Some people might believe he’s a mite slow, but I would hazard to say he’s one of the most brilliant people around. He’s built an empire, after all. So I finally know what all the cries of “Choot ’em, Lizzabuth!” are about. 🙂 Choooooot ’em, indeed. They’re terrifying, all those gnashing teeth and swamp mud splashing everywhere. And why izzit the alligators are perpetually male? There must be plenty of females around, for the abundance of new generations. Surely some of what dey choot are of the fairer sex.

I have just returned from a rescue mission for Shug and his newly acquired POS Ford. I should enclose a picture, but I don’t want y’all waving and attracting attention in the event I’m ever caught dead in it. He took it directly to the shop within days of it being relocated here from Newport. That should tell you something. In the few short days it was here, it did manage to lower our property taxes by three percent. And several complaints from the neighbors. I jest. Anyway, after spending several weeks at the local mechanic’s, it was returned here to the Plantation to haul wood and a source of transportation to the monthly Campout. It idles pretty high and sucks gas like the Arabs are giving it away, but I attribute that to just being a pickup. It broke down yesterday in the bottom, and Shug had made plans to go get a new battery for it, even though it had tested good. Uncle Dale talked him out of it and they charged it and set off again. Then arose problems with the chainsaw. Johnny finally declared it a day and began to drink beer from the comfort of the couch instead of the woods. Today he went off with the agenda of acquiring a battery and having the alternator checked. I sat here, typing away, anticipating a call that he was broke down at the light.

Sure enough, about ten minutes after he left, here his face was on my android, explaining that Advanced’s alternator checker was down (seems there’s problems all over in the mechanical world. And yes, that is the technical term) and that now his not-so-trusty truck wouldn’t crank, their little charger wouldn’t bump it, and could I please bring Patsy and the jumper cables?

Why, sure, I would just love abandoning my blog after being away from it for so long to come to your aid on a truck brand that I loathe. (Actually, I didn’t mind much, I just want to know if he reads these or not).

I could not tell you how many people Patsy has rescued. As I begin to tick them off on my fingers, it prompts stories of how I knew the people, or came to be their acquaintance after my services were rendered. I still to this day have no idea how to hook them up, but the people in need generally do. With the exception of my good friend Brenda, who required a boost after a hearty meal at Holston’s a few short months ago. Here we were, two curly headed short women, freezing to death in the parking lot of our favorite restaurant, while no doubt Yankee men strode by without so much as the tilt of their head in our direction. Finally a cook on his smoke break came to our aid. Psssh. And I wrote him a glowing recommendation on their Facebook page and they never even responded! Well, he’ll get a star in his crown if I have anything to do with it.

As I’m dressing for my Mission: Rescue Shug it occurs to me my little hometown has no less than four car parts stores and although my astute husband has stated he’s at Advanced Auto, methinks it’s best to ascertain that that is indeed his location. “Across from Food City or next to Zaxby’s?” I text. “Food City,” came the reply.

Let the record show that the business in question is an Auto Zone.

But nonetheless, I managed to get the toolbox open on Patsy (always tricky business) and withdraw the often used jumper cables, which Shug attached, and within seconds, the ol’ Ford fired to life from the lifesaving juice of a CHEVROLET. 🙂

We returned home, although I gently suggested the shop.

I do believe I’m due a snack.

Perhaps some Nabs.

Nabs, you say? You’ve never heard of them? Oh, allow me to introduce you. Dear Reader, Nabs are the fancified way of saying peanut butter and crackers. In all actuality, they’re the shortened form of Nabisco, which is the abbreviated version of National Biscuit Company. Who knew?!?!? I did, after Googling it. What did we ever do without Google? After all, it isn’t something you could look up in the encyclopedia, if you even knew where to start. My coworker is from Southwest Virginia, and evidently that little pocket of Earth calls peanut butter and crackers Nabs.

But nowhere else. Even Amazon doesn’t know what they are, as they provided this object: Nabs

I was thoroughly confounded last week when she announced that was what she was having for lunch and then pulled out a lowly pack of crackers. And yogurt, if memory serves. So I got my lesson for the day, and now you have yours.

I believe that’s all for now, I have exhausted myself imparting my struggles with you, and am now entitled to a hot dog.