I Five Fears That You Have

#1) Snakes. They are not to be joked around about. There is nothing funny about snakes. I have a million & one snake stories, the most famous one being the one that was hung in my porch that I thought was fake. I don’t have time to go into it, but that was a train wreck if there ever was one.

#2) Cancer. If you’ve ever been around someone dying from it, it will be your fear as well. I’m not scared of dying, but I am scared of wasting away slowly & painfully.

#3) Losing Shug. I don’t know why, but every time he doesn’t answer his phone I just know he’s hurt himself at work & nobody’s had time to call me. I used to not worry as much about him driving because a) he drives slower than turtles stampeding through peanut butter & b) he had the biggest truck in the fleet, but now they’ve downsized to half tons so I’m sure he’s dead in a ditch somewhere.

#4) That our country (specifically, our President) is gonna get us all killed, or that we are going to be governed by a bunch of liberal radicals. Oh, wait. 

#5) That our house is going to burn down. Another one that’s basically unfounded. I’ve never personally known anyone whose home burned, but I imagine it’s devastating. But it’s something I worry about, & there ain’t a thing in this world to be done about it. I just try to be careful.