I still don’t have anything nice to say. But I will tell y’all about my lunchtime adventure today, because y’all seem to enjoy them. Its going to sound like complaining, but stick with me, its worth it.

  Went to Buddy’s BBQ because I was craving bar-b-que something fierce. Of course I have to drive like a demon to get there & back in my allotted lunch break time. I pull up at the drive thru.

Silence.

I back up & pull forward.

Nothing.

“Hello?”

*cricket, cricket*

There were cars in the parking lot, so they were open.

I’m expecting Ashton Kutcher to come out of the bushes, but time is of the essence, so I grumble & whip into a parking space & stomp in.

Grouchy lady takes my order, I inform her of the faulty service of the drive through speaker. She tells me it’s plugged in & shrugs. Whatever, give me my food before I have a stroke. I won’t go into how she didn’t want to supply me with both ketchup AND extra barbeque sauce, nor a lid that fit my coke, but I got back into Patsy & sped back to the other side of the river, frantically trying to eat my sandwich.

This is where things went tragically downhill.

My little sauce cup was working out great. I’d dribble a little onto my sandwich, take a bite. Dribble, bite. Dribble, bite. You get the idea. My fries are nestled between my legs in their cup, drink in the holder. I would only set the sauce cup on my leg when I was stopped at a light. Otherwise I would hold it & set the sandwich down. Now, this system was working great all the way back to the store. I had pulled in & was working my way around the building, giving myself a little congratulatory speech about not spilling anything when my phone rang. I reached for it and…bar-b-que sauce EVERYWHERE. ALL OVER my khaki pants-between my legs, no less. I was trying to hurry & grab it & the fries went flying to the floorboard. A few creative words later, I righted the cup & salvaged what I could of the fries. Somehow, the cup went sideways AGAIN & spilled the remainder onto the center seat & my pocketbook. Then I got to parade in work & try to clean that mess up. People stopped to stare.

Six hours later, I still smell faintly of barbeque. The dogs greeted me exuberantly.

You’re welcome.